Arranged Marriage

[00:00:03] Hey everyone, this is Voice with Warikoo, my or Ankur Warikoo.

[00:00:07] In this English podcast series, I cover a lot of things in this English podcast series.

[00:00:11] Career, relationships, personal finance, success, failure, and frankly, something else that comes to the time.

[00:00:19] Every week on Thursday, a new episode on your favorite podcast platform.

[00:00:24] Voice with Warikoo

[00:00:26] So I got an email yesterday.

[00:00:31] Arranged Marriage in 2023.

[00:00:34] Everything happened very quickly.

[00:00:36] And because of that, she ignored some few red flags, thinking that things will be fine after marriage.

[00:00:43] But soon after marriage, according to her, each and every day was a living hell.

[00:00:47] There was no respect.

[00:00:48] She was asked to transfer full salary to her mother-in-law.

[00:00:52] And now she's getting divorced.

[00:00:54] And in her words, I'm just not able to deal with this divorce.

[00:01:00] Wherever I am, my mind keeps going back to him.

[00:01:04] My mind always keeps thinking what he must be doing.

[00:01:09] So I asked her, do you want me to listen to you without judgment because I can happily do that?

[00:01:15] Or do you want my advice on what you should do?

[00:01:18] And she said, I'll go for the second option.

[00:01:21] Fair enough.

[00:01:22] This is what I told her precisely.

[00:01:26] Your husband hurt you once.

[00:01:30] But you are hurting yourself multiple times over and over.

[00:01:36] See, what happened is unfortunate.

[00:01:38] It's clearly not desirable.

[00:01:40] You suffered.

[00:01:41] I understand that.

[00:01:42] But why do you want to prolong that suffering?

[00:01:47] Here is why.

[00:01:48] And you know what?

[00:01:50] This will hurt and sound harsh.

[00:01:52] But this is my truth.

[00:01:54] You want to prolong the suffering because it makes you feel like the victim.

[00:01:58] It legitimizes your pain.

[00:02:01] It allows you to wallow in your misery and tell yourself,

[00:02:05] I have suffered, so I am valid to feel this pain.

[00:02:10] But here's the truth.

[00:02:12] You have a wonderful life ahead in front of you.

[00:02:15] You can wipe your tears, heal from the pain, and move on.

[00:02:19] Or you can continue to suffer every single day, thinking and ruminating about the past.

[00:02:24] The choice is for you to make.

[00:02:27] But you can't make that choice until you truly understand that your current pain is your choice.

[00:02:35] It is not imposed on you.

[00:02:37] What happened to you was real.

[00:02:39] Which you're making yourself go through is self-inflicted.

[00:02:43] You make the choice to be in pain today.

[00:02:49] And until you choose to not be in this pain,

[00:02:52] you will never, ever gather the courage to move on.

[00:02:58] All the best.

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[00:03:11] Every Thursday, a new episode on your favorite podcast platform.