She Became Mrs. India World - But Her Real Crown Was Inner Work

[00:00:00] I was sent to this English medium school and I was the poorest kid for sure because I went from a village to like this big town and every kid would like bully me because I was poor but I didn't want to behave poor To the Unstoppable platform what it seems like you were walking on lot of red carpets but they were all inner work Absolutely And the world hasn't seen all of those red carpets yet How do you rebuild yourself after years of violence without letting pain turn into bitterness?

[00:00:27] When this guy was beating me up psychologically I was thinking he's doing it for my good like how my mom and dad does it for my good To make you better But what you're doing as a discipline every day without reward without anybody watching you is what it is about inner authority I realized that I wanted a very beautiful life from inside because I know when how it is to be painting from within So when I got money in life one of the first things that I wanted to do was to make clothes accessible to every girl

[00:00:57] It almost feels like now you are the doorway for many other women to walk through And it's fair to say that's your purpose? To never stop You know because like I always say you know right now I am already what I once prayed to become Yeah, but I also have more prayers and I don't want to stop till the last second

[00:01:35] Welcome to the show Rinema Thank you so much So Rinema your story is super intriguing from the streets of a village to the international ramp Right? Yes To the unstoppable platform what it seems like you were walking on a lot of red carpets but they were all inner work Absolutely And the world hasn't seen all of those red carpets yet

[00:02:01] What they've seen is you under spotlight of Mrs. India world and many more achievements Today we are going to look at Rinema from a very different light And I hope you've given us permission to go as wide as possible Absolutely, let's do it Yeah Okay We have a small ritual in which I'm just going to ask you a few questions A couple of them And there's one key, unstoppable key which I'll hand over Okay For you to enter the unstoppable world

[00:02:31] Oh, alright Yeah I'm excited, yes You can answer it with one word, one phrase We'll keep it brief What does it take to believe you deserve a big life when everything around you tells you otherwise? Self-belief Okay This is your key number one Alright Great, yes Oh, okay Second key, how do you rebuild yourself after years of violence without letting pain turn into bitterness?

[00:02:59] That's a great question, oh my god, I don't know how to answer it in one word But I think, you know, it's faith For me it has been faith That goodness exists and it's inevitable And it's going to meet you some way So you've got to keep going Okay This is your second key And thanks for sharing that And I know it takes a lot Yeah, it's easier said than done, right? Yes But I feel like I've crossed that bridge So It's beautiful On the other end

[00:03:28] What inner discipline is required to sustain the life people admire from the outside? To do it even when you don't want to You know, and I remind this I mean, I remind myself of this every single day Like, I have a routine I have a crazy routine That's how I live, actually And of course, I don't want to follow that routine every single day Because it's boring But I tell myself that you've got to do it no matter what When you want it, you don't want it You've got to do it And that has always worked for me, you know Single trick

[00:03:58] That my dad said when I was so young But it holds true until this day Consistency Consistency Discipline most importantly You know, my dad always would say You've got to show up whether you like it or not And that's what you do You know, you make a plan that you're going to show up And do these things on a daily basis Now, whether you like it or you don't like it You go show up And then see how life turns out eventually And I think you are so right

[00:04:25] Okay, and that's basically been the light The guiding light The anchor in my life, you know Because I have derailed so much I mean, I think I was like a waste kid in my 20s You know, I was wasting away my time Doing all the things that I thought was amazing Because you see all these curated lifestyles on Instagram You see all these unrealistic things That's been glorified And you want to be a part of it, right? Aimlessly And you just want to do it So I think I've had that phase as well

[00:04:54] And I realized how unhappy I was from within That I was just chasing something Without knowing myself And then I had to stop and analyze Of what actually is going to make me happy Okay So that is a very long answer Yes, sorry Short question But a very important answer Which sort of makes us understand you a little better Right? We really want to know a bit more about the place you come from How were your early days?

[00:05:24] Oh, it's a lot of pride I'm going to say this part Please I come from Assam It's one of the states out of the eight states in northeast India

[00:06:01] And in Assam I was actually having this conversation with my mom yesterday And she was telling me Thank your dad, not me Because mom wanted a simpler life She was worried to let her daughters go off to a bigger city or stuff But my dad always said that they got to They ought to, you know So you have siblings? I have one older sister She's a lawyer in the Gohanti High Court Okay She also has a brilliant story about herself So both of us sisters, I think we evolved the way we did Despite being from such a small state Was the way our dad was So how was life?

[00:06:30] Life was very difficult I mean, I grew up in a shack My house was made of, what, clay and mud And roof of hay You know, I remember moving into a concrete house Half made when I was in seventh grade So life was Life was very beautiful inside my house But I didn't like life outside so much Because I was sent to this English medium school And I was the poorest kid for sure Because I went from a village to like this big town And every kid would like bully me Because I was poor But I didn't want to behave poor

[00:06:59] You know, I had that attitude Of why shall I behave a certain way? I will be me But people did not like it Which I didn't realize back in the day But now I know why they didn't like me Because I wanted to be a part of them Sure And for them, they were like How can you be a part of us? Like, you know, you come from a village Your dad has a scooter He's like a garage mechanic My dad is a doctor Once he's a lawyer So you don't fit in So a lot of my early years was How I don't fit in Of how I was dreaming bigger than my circumstances Yeah

[00:07:29] So a lot of it was people telling me No, no, no and no Like stay in your lane girl Stay in your lane Otherwise But was that the voice at home as well? No, that's what I'm saying Inside four doors Was you are special You can achieve anything in your life Doesn't matter where you were born Go keep doing it Dad always said put effort Just keep putting effort You will even beat the one Who is naturally good at the game If you put more effort than that person And I believe it, you know So inside the house

[00:07:58] And that motivation kept me going Because I only heard what they were saying Rather than what people outside Sure Were telling me Sure So Did you ever imagine that you would go beyond Yeah Your small In your mind Yeah It was small Because otherwise you wouldn't have stepped out of it No So did you have aspirations that early on That there is a life beyond this And I would really want to go see it? The answer is yes And it's crazy Because I reflect on it even up until today

[00:08:27] Like how did I know Like I don't know if it was my dad's relentless pursuit Of like This girl's gonna Because even in my own family I was treated like She was special Okay You know Because all I remember from my aunts Or from my dad Something about her You know Something about this girl Invest everything in her Send her to the best of schools Even if you have to sell lands So when you grow up Hearing that you're special And that you know People are going to Sell land for you

[00:08:56] And invest so much in you Something happens to you as a child You know One You believe for sure At a young age That yes I am extraordinary And they're seeing it Now all I have to do is Respect everything That they're putting into me And put my heart and soul into it So somehow I also knew That I was going to have A different life Compared to other people In my own state Or maybe even in the country For that matter You know My journey is not over It's honestly just starting Yeah You felt that Of course

[00:09:26] I still feel it That there's a bigger calling One is the blessings Of your parents at that time And the voice Which you're listening Is all positive Yeah Right Always very positive So the farming of you Was in a very positive Yeah Soil Which was enriched With good values They were giving it All it takes Yes In terms of Enriching you With your education

[00:09:57] In the East India Okay What's her name That's Dheera Hazarika Okay You can google her Okay She's my grandmother And when you grow up With such a name Being told time and again Of like Dheera Aida is coming Or she's coming And everybody started to get ready And make stuff And make She was so special You know And I remember I wanted to be treated that way As a very young child Five and a half years old Admiration Admiration And I remember telling my dad Why are you giving away your seat

[00:10:26] Why are you giving away your plate It's yours Like why would you give it away to her Because I love dad so much I want him to do that for me Not for her Okay And then she goes But look at her achievement Yeah Look at what she has achieved Yeah So in my head as a little girl I was like okay So if I achieve so much in life I will get that And do good All of them will do that for me too And I think in a very innocent way All I wanted was a lot of love And a lot of admiration Because growing up I did not get that A lot from the outside world Okay So maybe in a way

[00:10:56] I was like What do I do to also get their love What do I do for girls to say I want to be friends with you too What do I do for people to say Hey Rini Ma We accept you in our circle How do I become a part of them You know That was the initial pursuit of course Sure So I think what you're saying is You were truly anchored within Yes The outside acceptance You were always seeking I did of course Right I missed it You know Okay And growing up Years of very formative years

[00:11:25] I feel people in Bangalore Were more accepting towards me Regardless of where I came from And that's why I love Bangalore So very much I feel the city is very humble The city has a lot of wisdom The city really does engage you Based on your clothing Or your looks It's a very simple city You know people are very simple There's no obsession for fair skin Quite honestly So I was I felt like

[00:11:54] I love this city Freedom Freedom Freedom I loved that I was sitting amongst Intellectual people Conversations were around career And were around world And geopolitics And not about whose father Had a scooter And who had a car And who You know The petty stuff Just that's when I realized That we were petty back home I was like What am I doing The reason maybe We are a small state Is maybe because We are still so petty And look at Karnataka How advanced they are So my perspective Almost Changed

[00:12:23] And I also celebrated it Because I was like I'm in the right place You know I can make friends now So what was the learning From that for you That you don't have to be A people pleaser That I no longer Wanted to run behind those girls And beg them to be my friends I changed I remember at 17 Do you change your environment Things change for you Yes Of course I knew that the girls Who I wanted to be friends with I no longer wanted to be Around them anymore Because I knew that It was not stimulating Me the way Bangalore city Or people in Bangalore Was stimulating My nervous system

[00:12:53] Or my brains Or whatever You know So I realized What I was chasing Was just Maybe utter crap For the lack of a better word Sorry So Rene Ma Right now If somebody from small town Is listening to our conversation Yeah Right And They will Obviously feel The constraints A small town Has We are both From small town I am from Himachal And I know What you are Referring to It has its charm Yeah It has its Value And culture

[00:13:22] Which are Very protected Yes Right And which is Which is good But in In case You really want To go beyond And your dreams Are bigger than the sky Visible on top Then you Sort of chart out New territories For yourself And I guess That's what Happened to you Yes What do you want To tell somebody Right now That if You are in A situation Changing the stage Will change The outcome Or there is Anything else They can do Even staying Within the small town If they happen I think it depends

[00:13:52] On what the The circumstances Also what What is that You want out of Your life Right Because I think I made this Biggest mistake Of generalizing Things in between When I got a little Bit of popularity And I realized Oh my god Girls are listening To me And I have to be Careful About what I am Saying And I think It depends Because back In my homestead There are girls Who are very Happy and content With being where They are And with a good Husband And just being A great wife And I think There's nothing Wrong in that And I think If they are happy They are happy But then there are

[00:14:22] Girls like me Who are extremely Ambitious And for them They got to step out Because you know If you are in a small town As hard as it is To accept It's not going Opportunities are not Going to come to you You know So it is important For you to venture out It is important For you to meet people From different parts Of the world Because that's what Enhances and makes you A better human being It did that to me Exposure Exposure I think is so important But more than anything You know it's that belief Because I tell girls

[00:14:52] Do what it takes Do what it takes To meet your dream Yeah And if you have to Keep it a secret Keep it a secret Because the world Doesn't deserve To know Not at least Not now Sure But do what it takes If it takes Fighting with your parents Taking an education loan And getting out Saying that I want to do this Do it In line When you reached Bangalore Yeah And that canvas Change Things opened up What was happening To you then I think I was just Basking in the glory

[00:15:20] That I'm in this city One And the growth That I was going to have I was very excited Because I'm a very quick learner Okay And I was very smart As a kid I knew I would Pick things up So you know I had to join A call center Because I didn't have Money to study In Bangalore Right My mom and dad Didn't have the money either So we had to take An education loan Sure My mom worked in Third grade government job But it's still a job for us Sure That fed us Our whole life Yeah So we somehow secured An education loan

[00:15:50] Through that And she was very clear That I will need to Pay the EMIs Because she Has a very limited salary And she was running the house Which means I had to Join a part time job So when I Joined finally I joined Dale And I was young And I was studying Simultaneously I remember everyone Around me In the training program Were cribbing You know Night shift And then there was this There was this And I was the only person Amongst 30 candidates Who was grateful I was like They're picking me up In a free cab And the cab has AC

[00:16:19] The whole office Is air conditioned You know People are going to Train me for six months And teach me English For free So for me I was filled with gratitude Whereas I could see People around me Cribbing You see the difference So that's where I was at I was excited to learn And I was excited To like Just grab every opportunity That was going to come My way in back law Beautiful And we just Stay here At this point You know And we have Come across This situation Or scenario

[00:16:49] In which we When we compare Somebody who comes From a very privileged Background Compared to Underprivileged background Yeah People generally Ace when they come From underprivileged Background Because obviously There's hunger And there is That ambition And that becomes A fuel Towards the actions Which they take And I so agree With you On the other end The privileged ones Really miss the bus Yeah Okay so while You caught the bus You got on Got on Got onto the bus You worked on your English You got the experience And exposure

[00:17:21] What was happening To you inside Your accent is fixed Yeah You're getting more confident You're loving Your experience in the city I'm transcending there Sorry Yes You know I remember The few things That I was celebrating From inside Is my mom and dad Had insurance Okay First thing For me Huge success Because dad was sick And I was starting To treat dad In Bangalore city For free of cost And that to me Was a big achievement Good hospitals Manipal You know My dad is in this Huge hospital Great doctors

[00:17:49] And who is taking care His daughter That he always Believed in So for me It was like Eureka You know Duty driven daughter We are raised Very religiously We are very duty driven My entire family is So to give back To them Was amazing But while my Professional life And my giving back Towards my family Was flourishing I also was in A relationship That was Getting very Very violent Okay And So at that point You know As a young girl

[00:18:19] I was happy But at the same time I was trying to figure out What was happening to me As a girl Because I was getting Beaten up by this guy And I didn't know How to process that I of course Couldn't tell mom and dad About it How old were you then? 17 and a half Okay And I remember When I first got Into the relationship It's like Infatuation You know You like this guy And He's a city boy So I'm this village girl I'm excited You know So Oh my god How can he fall for me?

[00:18:49] Am I not like Too shabby? That was in my head first Like I come from a village He's in a city Why is he even after me? There's so many girls So you start giving Too much importance To this person And then Once the violence Starts You know I still remember First I was protecting him I wouldn't tell anybody That he was beating me up And that went on For seven years Till I kind of There was an intervention That happened Through my company Through HR Because they would see Bruises on my body And it was happening For too many years

[00:19:17] So I had an HR intervention And that's when My eyes opened Because I got into therapy And I was realizing That what was happening To me was Wrong But Man Extremely sorry Yeah That's fine Oh yeah I understand Yeah Why would you go Ahead with it For seven years? Great question And not only you Anybody Anybody who's watching Right now Most of the victims Do go Yeah

[00:19:46] A long way I'll tell you mine Yes please Because I don't know About others I'll tell you mine Because I didn't know Myself why I stayed In the relationship Or why I kept Going back to him But then when Therapy came in She broke it down For me My therapist And then We had to nip it In the bud Right Because we didn't Want to repeat This pattern Realize that my mom And dad would Discipline me By beating me up As a child It's very common In Indian households Right So when this guy Was beating me up Psychologically I was Thinking he's doing it For my good Like how my mom And dad does it For my good To make you better To make me better

[00:20:45] So I was convinced Get married Like which 17 year old Girl wants to be a mother Or wants to get married No one I was just being my age But he was 10 years Older to me And he wanted to Corp and control it Because he was mature And he expected me To be mature To his level Which was not going To happen So I was getting Beaten up for basically Just being myself Okay You know of course The guy was sick And he needed help And I didn't know better But luckily I do now Hence I speak about it As much as I can

[00:21:15] Sure sure You want water? Yeah That part of my life Always kind of Shakes me up a little bit But yeah Any hero's journey Is tough Yeah Right I agree The callings do come And sometimes we Listen to them And sometimes we ignore After 7 years You heard the calling And you decided To take the step out Right What

[00:21:45] Did What became of Rinneema by then? What were you Holding on to Strongly And what Did you want To leave behind? I think You know The abuse Continued actually Because I Stepped out Of that relationship And entered Another relationship Which was abusive again Okay And then I entered Another relationship Which was also abusive So totally I have endured About 16 years Of domestic abuse And it's important To talk about this The first relationship I didn't know What was going on With me Okay

[00:22:13] When I left I figured Okay Domestic abuse Is wrong Nobody Till then I didn't even Know it was wrong I thought Okay It's a norm Husbands Or boyfriends Beat women up Then everything Becomes fine Because you've seen A lot of that In Indian cinema We have seen A lot of that In households Not in my household But even my neighbor Would beat up His wife sometimes Okay You know So in my head As an Indian girl I'm like I'm supposed to Keep quiet And protect this Because you know I'm conditioned That way right So once I'm done With him

[00:22:43] I'm now about 22 years old And I'm a little More mature And I fall into The next relationship Really fell in love Like hardcore This time I knew Better what I was doing This was like Bangalore boy So excited But then he got Abusive as well And this was Six years of Relationship But you know In the second Relationship I started believing That I am the problem Because the guy Started saying Why are all boys Beating you up You make men That way

[00:23:11] So you are the problem We have never Beaten other women Before Which was a lie Later I figured out They've always been Violent with every girl In their life But for me At that point I was like Oh shit You have to tone down Maybe you're wearing Too many revealing clothes Maybe you speak too much Maybe you have to Tone your personality So you were second Guessing yourself For everything Always I self doubted myself For like The first 33 years Of my life I was in self doubt You know I'm not good enough This guy is too good For me You know He's a jackpot So I was chasing men

[00:23:41] Like a foolish girl Rather than chasing A beautiful career That I also had I was fortunate That my career Was also going Hand in hand But one thing I didn't let go of Is the career And I'm so So so grateful For that Always chaos Two extremes Two extremes Both ways See when I was in Assam The home was beautiful The outside was ugly When I was in Bangalore The outside was beautiful And the home was ugly Because these boys Were just not nice to me Hmm

[00:24:12] Did you attract them I for sure did What was happening In sight Which was attracting Men like this I think a broken girl Always gets a broken man Right I had a lot of anger I think when I came To Bangalore I came I came with a lot Of resentment Resentment towards School friends Who has bullied me And that I didn't get it Yeah And the world is not Fair with me Yeah That the world I victimized myself a lot I was self-pitying Which is like The worst thing You can do to yourself Then boys do catch on To these wives Of course Because boys look For vulnerable women

[00:24:42] And God bless you If you're also pretty On top of that They're definitely Going to come like Swamp Swamp you around You know So I think You attract what you are And I attracted At that point I was broken And I attracted Broken men Angry men Because I was angry myself You know But Angry at yourself Angry at myself Angry at how people Have treated my mom My dad For being poor Just angry at the world For For not being kind To the poor And to the underprivileged

[00:25:12] I still have a little bit Of anger about that And I always work on it Things changed When dad passed Okay I lost dad Seven years ago Sorry for that And it's really sad That someone has to go away For someone to Realize life You know I don't wish that For anyone And that's why I constantly talk about Make those actions Or take those steps now I resorted to wisdom Okay I wanted to know What happened to my dad After he was gone That's how the book journey Started And I resorted to

[00:25:41] Reading a lot of books And then it became One after another I became like an avid reader I read a lot I read 40 to 50 books In a year now I'm trying to go more So I sought to wisdom Through books I sought to wisdom Through Bhagavad Gita Okay I think I really Went straight back To Sanat and Dharma Because I think It has a lot To teach you And it anchored me Beautifully You know It made me realize That God Or the universe Put me through That suffering

[00:26:10] So that I can have Enough compassion And kindness Towards others I held so much Resentment Towards my school friends They didn't deserve it I held so much Resentment Towards my uncle And auntie Who treated my mom And dad bad They didn't deserve it Nobody deserves it You know They all have Their own stuff So all of that bitterness I was able to let go Through spirituality Through books Through Bhagavad Gita Through meditation Chanting Praying I did everything A human needed to do To just look within Okay

[00:26:40] You know Okay And you also mentioned That somewhere This has become Your operating system Yeah Right Like you will Hold on to it Yes Very dearly Yes Waking up with the sun Yes Sleeping with the sun Yes I say this because I feel You know After dad passing I remember I was kind of Spiraling I was drinking a lot I was traveling And after drinking I was becoming A very bad person I did not enjoy The person That I was Once I was drunk

[00:27:09] I would speak Like this girl Who had no humility I would just be This nasty Mean girl You know Would talk as if I don't know I hated myself That's when I knew It's time for me To do something About myself Because I'm not enjoying For the first time I'm not liking My own self Yeah That never happened To me before I've always loved myself I always thought I was a great human being And that's when I think the transition Began You know And of like How is it What is it That you want to do

[00:27:39] Rini Ma Like sit down Put in some work And today The reason I say that Is because I suffer with anxiety I suffer with depression And this is something That's never going to go away So I'm not going to be Rosy about it Because the trauma That I have been through In my life Is a part of me It's going to remain with me So I have to do things To make sure that I have a fully functional day Sure And if I don't wake up At 4am If I don't chant For one hour Or meditate If I don't go to the gym At 6am If I don't come back And pray for another hour If I don't read my book

[00:28:09] And I don't do that Till 12pm I don't think I will have the right mindset To carry on The rest of the day Sure So there's a lot of Inner reset Which is required For you to set out In the world Every single day And you have chosen A path Which is about Building yourself Irrespective of Very serious interventions Yes And you're holding on to it Yes You call it discipline And consistency Yeah Right It is very important To talk about What you're doing And this is exactly The kind of work

[00:28:38] Where we are not Talking enough Arunima And we are talking about What glorifies people Yeah And which you You've done that You have reached That helm also Right Of being under the crown Felt your feet On the red carpet Yes And everybody applauding But what you're doing As a discipline Every day Yeah Without reward Without anybody Watching you Yeah Is what it is Yeah About inner authority Absolutely It's also very fulfilling Because initially Even I felt like

[00:29:08] Oh my god I'm doing all of this Inner work I don't have a social life I sleep at 8 You know Am I missing out Because initially I was like Will I have FOMO So many things But then you know You really need to figure out What is it that you want in life And I realized That I wanted a very beautiful life From inside Because I know How it is to be Painting from within You know It's very hurtful It's very hurtful I've had money After six years I've lived a very good life My husband is wealthy

[00:29:37] So now I consider myself wealthy So you know I've had a great life But I remember I struggled The first two years of marriage Because I didn't put in Any inner work You know I was this girl Who was aimlessly Just surviving Being on this earth You know And it wasn't fun for me But now I like it Because I feel very content I feel very fulfilled Like I wouldn't be jealous Of you If you were more successful Than me Because I feel like I can get there If I want to All I have to do Is put effort You know

[00:30:07] So what Inner work Brought that fulfillment Into me And I don't think I'm a patient Or I'm some kind Of a high maintenance person Who has to do So much to go out I want to do So much to go out So that I can remain calm Regardless of what's going around Sure I don't get too excited When something is amazing And I don't get too depressed Today When something is too sad Sure So I'm able to be At that same calmness Because I know Both are going to pass Okay You know But this has come Like I said After a lot

[00:30:37] A lot And a lot Of inner work What does inner work In plain English Mean to you Just I know You spoke about Activities and everything What does it mean First step is You know For a second Just stop Everything that you're doing Sit down Two minutes Think of nothing Just think about yourself Connecting with self Just yourself Who am I What am I doing In this world What is the duty That I want to do In this world

[00:31:07] Because each one of us Have a task to perform Right Some of us Are lucky enough To know what the task is In this lifetime And some of us Don't even realize And go away From this world But I'm saying If we take the time To find that out Life is very fulfilling Regardless of what Financial status You are at Regardless of which country Or which state you are at You will be so peaceful From within And I know right now I sound like Dalai Lama Or maybe Sadhguru But there's a reason Why these people are famous Yes Why they are visionaries You know

[00:31:36] And I learned it The hard way And people think Inner work means Sitting down for hours And meditating And not drinking ever Not wanting materialistic things No way I love my Chanel I love my Hermes I'm very materialistic You know I love all of these things But at the same time I feel like Knowing yourself Is extremely important Else you are going to get lost In this materialistic world To not get lost Is why you have to sit With yourself Two minutes every day That's it

[00:32:05] Start with just that Just sit down For a minute Sure That's it In Miss Momo A project You are looking at Empowering women Renabling them Yes And underprivileged women Yes Okay So the You know how Miss Momo Started also Was very funny Like you know You remember I'm sure you will have This in school When back in the day When we would On our birthdays We were supposed to wear Special clothes Yes Did you have that in school Yes So you know I used to look forward To that day okay And in fifth grade Remember very well Mum made me this dress

[00:32:35] We She bought some fabric From the market 50 rupees 60 rupees I don't know how much It is a cheap fabric Made me a beautiful dress I looked gorgeous According to me Okay I went to school And then this guy I still remember his name Amit He's no longer with us But he touched my fabric And he said You You You You Okay That same day That I would look forward to From fifth grade Became a day I dreaded So every 29th of August After that year For me was I don't want to go to school I'm sick I'm this

[00:33:04] And then my mom is like No you gotta face it You gotta go And I start Remember I remember I started borrowing clothes From my cousins Because my mom's Older sister's kids Were well to do They had good clothes And I would always Take clothes from her Pretend like it's my clothes Sure And come back So when I Got money in life One of the first things That I wanted to do Was to make clothes Accessible to every girl Okay And that's when Miss Momo came into the picture Okay And today I rent clothes From Miss Momo Like you can rent This outfit that I'm wearing

[00:33:33] For thousand rupees But this outfit Actually is about Thirty thousand rupees Because it's pure Hundred percent linen But I want everyone To have it I don't just want you From Bombay to have it I want my girls From maybe that village Also to have it So while you buy it For thirty thousand I want those girls To just pay five hundred Thousand rupees And still wear Because my The myth that I want To break is that We all get to wear The same clothes It's not like you Get to wear better And I get I don't like that concept And I'm trying to bridge That gap Let's see how far I can go I also employ

[00:34:03] A lot of underprivileged Women Okay Who work with me In my company So you So just to Understand this better You are Making clothes Yes Which are As good As fancy As anybody Desire to wear Yes And which is Affordable Yes Just fifteen hundred rupees Two thousand rupees To buy Because everyone Deserves fashion Okay Lovely And it started With this entire thing Yes It started with The whole bullying And trauma Of course First I used That trauma To build my own confidence I built my confidence Through transformation

[00:34:32] Of identity I transformed myself I dress up well For a reason I look pretty For a reason Because I remember Getting shaded Or getting bullied For not having this So today This for me Is important Because this Helped me Build my confidence Like finances Were opening up Because my husband Was providing My dad passed So a lot of my money Was no longer Getting used Because he was No longer there So I'm like Maybe now I can Pursue my dream You know Because this is The time It looks like So I had a discussion With my husband And he's like

[00:35:02] Please go for it You're gorgeous And I think You deserve it And I will Take care of everything And that to me Was music to my ears You know And I went in Full All guns blazing I lost weight I was about 64 kgs I came down to 48 kgs I put in a lot Of effort In styling In grooming I spent two years To build my Instagram profile Then I spent One year to transform Then on the fourth year Is when I applied For Mrs. India Yes What is the mental Makeup required

[00:35:31] To win a pageant Of that stature You gotta Like I said You need to know Yourself fully From within Because you know Constant comparison With fellow women Is not fun Or her legs Are better than hers No no But I like her hair Better Because sometimes What happens In self-doubt

[00:36:01] A lot of women Give you Or the judges The right To tell them Who they are And when you're Hearing from someone Else who you are It's never true They're never going To know you In seven days And be able To give you feedback So you got to I knew from within Who I was I didn't win Mrs. World I was in Mrs. World I was a top 18 finalist Trust me Their loss Not mine I still feel it That way Because I know What I would have Added into that Whole thing So I'm not upset When I came back From Mrs. World

[00:36:30] Even though I did not win Because I'm going to Continue doing the same Things I would have done Even if I won Without the crown Sure So I don't see What the problem is Like the crown Can only like Make you happy For the few minutes But you can still Do everything That you want to do With or without the crown You know There was a time When You did mention That the scars From domestic violence Were not only skin deep But they were very deep And had scarred you As a person Yeah

[00:36:59] Does any flashback Comes back Are there anything Which you're still Carrying as wounds Is the healing Inner work Is the work Healing all of that No I think I've Completed the healing Okay I mean I struggled With it Till about three years ago Like I said But I did a lot To get over it I think books Have helped me One of these books That helped me With this Is this book Called The Power of Now Yeah You know It really Beautiful Beautiful book And it helps me Stay in the present So I no longer dwell

[00:37:29] In the past Nor do I think Too much about the future Like I think about now And that anchoring itself Helps me To not carry any more Scars of that Lovely Part of life Lovely Okay so If you are That doorway Yeah Where you would Want to carry your Let's say Carry women along Yeah Right Through that doorway What does the future Look like Where are you heading First thing is You know I want See my focus

[00:37:58] Always is in rural India Or rural women Assam is the main focus Although India is as well But my main focus Is Assam You know I want A girl Who is raised In a small village In Assam To be at par Academically With a city born kid That is one of the gaps That I have always And that's the Government work That I'm doing We are trying to Change how rural education Is done in Assam You know I'm bringing in projects Where Sitting in any state Or any village

[00:38:27] From the first grade Onward in government school They will be able to Listen to first language Speakers Who will teach them English Okay Because what happens Once Because quite honestly English will open doors for them Once you know the language Then you can dream bigger You know Then I work on scholarships To send the right potential candidates To different colleges All over America UK So there are enough ways To do that There are people who works on that I have friends who does that So that's my vision I want more Rinneemars From Assam Because I want nobody You know My grandmother was the first Lady pilot of Assam

[00:38:56] I am just an influencer Just Mrs. India The potential That Northeast India has The potential I'm not joking Is immense And I want to tap onto it You know And once I elevate The quality of rural education Then even if I'm gone Education is one such thing That the ball will keep rolling And that is the legacy That I would like to leave behind You know Lovely Beautiful Thank you This sounds like So in the space of Unstoppable And so many leaders Come and talk about Their transformation stories Thank you

[00:39:26] So you are somebody Who's transformed within Yeah You have profound learning And now you're taking All those learnings Into your work Yeah And building a purpose Around it Yeah And I want other people To transform Which is beautiful You know Do you see And this I'm just asking Just This is a very common theme Okay With a lot of people Who've transformed And I met like maybe I don't know The number Maybe 70, 80, 100 It doesn't matter The number now I've seen a pattern

[00:39:56] Okay I've seen a pattern That when you Go through life experience Which hurts you Yeah Shakes you Like you said There's a purpose for it Yeah And then that becomes Your North star Eventually Precisely Which is why I'm grateful For everything that has Happened to me In a way Truly in hindsight I am Because when you asked me The trauma kind of Actually it doesn't I'm grateful to each one of them And I say this in my podcast as well Thank you To all three of them

[00:40:25] Because while they did bad They also did good to me You know And I've forgiven them Because if they did not put me Through that suffering I wouldn't have the kind of Empathy and compassion I have today for these girls Or for any woman For that matter I was also one of those Mean girls Who wouldn't care Because I was getting bitter You see in school With all the mean girls Rejecting me I was like I'll show you who I am That was the And that's not a good place to be I like where I am at now Sure So One more thing Rinima Yeah

[00:40:55] Irrespective of Northeast Yeah And irrespective of The background Disconnects Right Disparity Yeah Parity Bullying is a big topic It is And even Privileged Background kids Are going through it These days Yeah As young as Five year olds Yeah Four year olds Yeah It doesn't end Yeah What can we really do about it What can you do about it On your platform In your forums You know My kid I mean my nephew Who is my kid

[00:41:25] We are raising him together He is 16 today But he went through Tremendous bullying When he was just 10 years old In his residential school And I remember It broke my heart But you know The more we talk about it I think it's really The duties of parents You know I feel like a lot of us As parents We don't know much ourselves So we are not able to impart That knowledge to our kid What parents don't understand Is that Their responsibility Doesn't end just with finance You gotta keep Learning yourself So that you can impart That knowledge to the kid Okay Because I feel

[00:41:54] A lot of these kids Who comes and bullies Are really mirroring Something they're seeing Back at home Indirectly seeing the father Saying something nasty To the neighbor Or to the maids Or whoever Nobody is born cruel Not one human being Comes into this world By default As a bad person They become what they become Based on what they see So I don't believe That they are inherently Bad or good I believe that something happens So it's important To get to the root cause Right Bullying is wrong We all know it But does that stop anybody From bullying Quite honestly It doesn't

[00:42:24] And I say to the ones Who gets bullied You know that We all know it's wrong Speak about it Talk about it Make the noise Because there is The right section of people Who will support you In your cause While there is one section Of the society Who will be like It's no big deal Or whatever There are people Who today Really takes focus Or takes attention To these kind of matters Sure So just to build on this Yeah And interesting point Is that You said Through education And through reading You have upgraded Your skills And upgraded your knowledge And that goes And that goes for parenting Also

[00:42:53] Absolutely Like when we are Born as parents We see our parents Modeling something Yeah And that doesn't mean It's the holy bible For life We have to keep Upgrading ourselves Absolutely And that is Very important Yeah With Gen Z Gen Alpha Our era at least Right I still understand My mom and dad Saying something But I will I don't think Millennials and Gen Z's Can make excuses The kind of exposure We have The kind of tools That's available for us Like if you currently Tell me but I don't know Where to go I will be like That's just a solid

[00:43:23] Excuse my friend Because it's just That you don't want To do it So you're making Excuses of I don't know Where to find That information To expand my knowledge Or expand my wisdom Like it's all over Now in context To leaving the door Open for other girls Yes Right Which is your core area Which is your focus You are not just Speaking about empowerment You are building it Tangibly Yes Right That is what You're working towards To tell us about The free English classes Which you do Over the weekends Where did that start

[00:43:54] And why are you So particular About English language And to be spoken In a particular way In an accent It's actually The most The project That I'm most Emotionally attached to Is the English class For Assam I'll tell you How it started So I have to go Deep in this one So you know Although I was From a village And there were No English medium Schools Anywhere in our vicinity When I was Growing up Because it was A village Right Look at my luck I was just about Two and a half Years old

[00:44:23] And these newly Moved in Neighbors from Gohati city Which was the Biggest city of Assam Still is They move in Okay They see that My parents have These two girls Older one is going To an Assamese Medium school And they had Three daughters And one son All these three Daughters Catch hold of my Mom and say Auntie The future is About English Please make sure Your younger one Goes to an English medium school And my mom is like It's so far How am I gonna So I think God had a plan For me Else there Wouldn't be

[00:44:53] Neighbors who Would move in From a city Tell my parents Who were villagers To put me in English medium school And you know That opened doors For me Just knowing the Language Which for you And me Is just a Simple language Because in a city Like Bombay And Delhi You're like But it really Matters for a girl Who came from That small state Sure You know It was my Bridge To the world Right To the world So I understood The importance of English And I realized That English Was the thing That really put me

[00:45:23] In rooms and circles With big people Which helped me Evolve So when I Became popular In Assam Which was Unintentional I won Mrs. India I went back home To my village Not even to the city No press conference Nothing Just to show Mom the crown A small journalist We know everybody In that village Right He from his phone Took a video And posted on his Instagram And I got 4 million Views overnight And next day I was like So he tagged you He tagged me He didn't even Tag Yeah he tagged me And by then I had a good

[00:45:52] Instagram profile Because I was growing Myself on Assam They don't even Know there was This girl Who was going Out and doing So when they Saw me I think out of Like lacks And lacks Of comments I had about My English She speaks So well How does she Speak so well How is she An Assam Speaking so well And then I'm like Alright If this is so Fascinating What if I give The same gift To everyone If they're so Fascinated with Me speaking English Imagine I make

[00:46:22] Everyone in Assam Speak like me That way I Wouldn't be Special Everyone will Be special And that's Where I'm at And that's When I started What is it Called English tea From Assam Aham Tea garden Barbar So initially I tried to Get like I was tutoring Them one hour Each Sunday But I got So busy So now I Put it on My YouTube So we have 100 classes This is a 100 class product I'm done with 18 classes So there's Every Sunday 5pm it goes up On YouTube And Instagram It's paid

[00:46:52] Free Free So you just Record You put it On YouTube And they learn From there They practice Any questions They put on The comments You have a WhatsApp group I help However now We are going One step ahead I'm starting The first cohort So that's 20 students Men and women Included Who has Passed college But is now Unemployed This is Assam Assam only Very nice So you're going Really deep Really deep So we are taking The first 20 candidates We're going to Take them through A six months of English speaking product That I have

[00:47:21] Built the curriculum I paid somebody I built the curriculum Got a tutor For six months They will go through This extensive English learning course They will finish The course of the Six months And then I have Tie ups with Different places Where engineering Students will be Placed in Engineering jobs Our student Will be placed In arts Housekeeping Depending on Where they are We will place Them Once the first 20 is successful Then I open it up You poor girl Thank you You are walking The talk Which is The real Title in life So the message And what I meant

[00:47:50] Was if you want More people to Talk about Your vision Which is Miss Momo Project Yes Of course So for the Clothing brand Miss Momo You know ladies I believe that Every woman Deserves to Dress up In the best Possible way And that's why The brand exists Pass the message You don't have to Pay lakhs and Lakhs of rupee To not repeat Outfits And yeah Don't repeat Outfits It's alright Rent it Wear it And be done You said many Women before

[00:48:19] Us forgot to Leave certain Doors Cracked open Yes Right The freedom To move To work To choose To express Yes What doors Do you feel Responsible For leaving Open now The unlearning You know That's the door I want to Leave open So you are Focused on it I'm focused So you're saying Bhaar kuch nahi hai It's more of What you have to do Inside Women first Have to tell Themselves that We were taught The wrong stuff We have to Unlearn that Because

[00:48:49] This whole Sanskari women Is itself Patriarchy I'll not go Out of the House I'm sorry That's patriarchy Your husband Is not God Not your husband's Husband You just be Loyal to him That's more than Enough He doesn't Require your Puja Sending out The right Thoughts in The universe Because the Universe reciprocates Everybody reciprocates Humans reciprocate Dogs reciprocate Whatever you give Is what you receive I completely believe In it I mean This utter Belief You know I had that

[00:49:19] Imagine sitting In a shack I thought of Living in a penthouse And guess what I live in a Penthouse today Was that Coming from A point of Desire Or a point Of that It is possible It is possible Desire Not really I mean I've never Actually I never desired I always believed That okay I'll go get it I want it Like I want a plane Okay And I told my husband He's like It'll cost you around 300 crores I said Okay We'll make it White and pink We'll call it Miss Momo Air Carpet You know In my head I'm ready for that And I know

[00:49:48] I'll get it I don't desire I'm like Okay I have to work Towards it Right Effort it I will put the effort I will get it It's like It was always that for me Okay And I don't know If the universe Also bent down In front of that Determination Is that a way Of live I mean Your life Is like that Or it is just Certain things That manifested I didn't know About manifestation When I was so young Okay So mom is Still that glue You know Till today Like she keeps me Grounded She keeps me Humble Like even when I won

[00:50:18] Or I got This really rich guy As my husband And life transformed I still remember mom Telling me Don't forget Where you come from This is a borrowed lifestyle This money belongs To your husband Yes you have right in it But it's a borrowed lifestyle If you love this lifestyle You need to make that money For yourself So I'm born to that Kind of a mother You know She is a perfect balance Between modernity And the spiritual Values Us She taught me to pray And I do the same way Till today She has taught me

[00:50:48] How to be a good wife She has taught me I'm the same mother As she was Today when I raise my son I'm like I'm exactly Binubora Like I'm the same So yeah You know I just want to bring up Something And maybe This episode Is the time for it They always say That if you have Very strong relation With your parents Yeah That's the first root And your root chakra Almost Yes That is very important To blossom in life Yeah Absolutely And most of the times When people do have Issues with their own parents

[00:51:18] It manifests in other issues And problems in life Sure Because then you stop growing Yeah And then you do A lot of therapy Or wherever you go They say go and fix your Yes Root relationship first Yes And you come from A space A soil Which is very solid And it is still like Nourishing you Yes And maybe all the blossoming Which I see is happen Is also a lot of blessings Of your parents 100% It's them Your relation with them Obviously you made Your own efforts Right To strengthen that relationship Yeah So which is very nice And warm

[00:51:48] I can feel that warmth Yeah While you're talking And this is I'm really enjoying The conversation I don't know about you But I'm loving it too We have a few Very interesting Questions left Okay To ask Can where you are born Decide how far You go in life Never My quote is Your beginnings Do not dictate Your destiny What is harder Dreaming big Or believing You deserve the dream Believing that you

[00:52:18] Deserve the dream That believing Is way harder And what can keep you Away What can keep you Away I think belief Honestly If you just start The fact that I can No matter what Okay The rest will follow Can a woman survive Violence And still remain soft Here I am It is And I think That's the true beauty To remain in a world That constantly Tries to break you And still not become Bitter And still

[00:52:48] Having that compassion Towards others I think that's the beauty Of a woman And don't worry ladies God has wired us Like this It's very hard For us to get Bitter Is discipline Sometimes a form Of healing All the time At all times I think discipline Is directly proportional To healing It's for sure What do people Misunderstand About a glamorous life That there are No struggles

[00:53:18] That their Mental problems Or inner problems Are different than ours We all feel The exact same way Pain Suffering Frustration Anger It's Every single person In this world Feels it the exact same way Does manifestation Begin with fantasy Or with self permission Self permission Self permission You know Yeah There is this beautiful thing That I want people To watch on YouTube It's called The Mental Bank Please You watch it as well It's going to change Your perspective

[00:53:48] About life It's a two hour thing Mental bank And it shows How we block Our own manifestations Okay Okay What is one belief Underprivileged girls Must stop Inheriting That you only Deserve so much Don't let the world Tell you what you deserve You decide that For yourself Okay This brings us To the end Oh no I I really enjoyed Our conversation Same here Aranima You brought a very Different perspective

[00:54:19] And A part Of India And A story Which should be heard Oh thank you And you brought That story And you Bring in A lot of I would say You're multi-dimensional Right As a personality So you Brought in All those aspects And Where you are born Doesn't mean That you need to Get intense Into it Yeah There is possibility Around it Beneath it You need to dig And come out And keep Going Right

[00:54:48] So that is What I've learned From you Today And thanks for sharing That Thank you What does Unstoppable mean to you To never stop You know Because Like I always say You know Right now I am already What I once prayed To become But I also have More prayers And I don't want to Stop till the last Second And like I don't want to Retire I want to Finally sleep When the day It comes to sleep And there is no Stopping before that So that's what It means to me And we wish you All the best Thank you Very very much For having me You have been

[00:55:18] Nothing but Kind towards me So thank you For handling Everything so Very sensitively Thank you