When I Grow Up, I Want To Be My Child

[00:00:04] Welcome to Inner Sense With Kavita, a podcast that inspires you to make sense of your inner world so you can live consciously and be well. We spend a considerable amount of time making sense of the world around us, but often forget to take a moment to look inwards and make sense of our inner world, our core that drives our thoughts, beliefs and behaviors. Join me and let's talk Inner Sense.

[00:00:32] When I grow up, I want to be my child. It sounds a little unusual at first, doesn't it? This isn't about going back. It's not about me wanting to be younger or freer or untouched by the world. It's something else. It's the realization that the life I'm watching my child live is in many ways the life I once imagined but didn't quite get to have.

[00:01:02] And strangely, that doesn't feel heavy. It feels beautiful. Today's episode comes from a place of self-reflection, something I've been sitting with quietly. And if you find pieces of your own story in this, then I'm really glad we're sharing this space together. I've often found myself thinking that my children are, in a lot of ways, version 2.0 of me.

[00:01:28] Not because I wasn't enough, but because life has unfolded differently for them. They've had access to things I didn't. They've received encouragement earlier in life than I did. And they're stepping into opportunities I once only imagined from a distance. And maybe, in your own way, you've seen this too. Not necessarily in big, dramatic ways, but in small, everyday moments. The kind that make you pause without really knowing why.

[00:02:00] There's a quiet but strong pride in watching our children move through the world. Seeing them try without overthinking. Hearing them saying, I can, without hesitation. Noticing a kind of ease that I had to learn much later in my life. And somewhere in those moments, something shifts. It stops feeling like a comparison. And it starts feeling like a continuation. It's not just their story.

[00:02:28] It's a continuation of mine. It feels like life is moving forward, but also gently reaching back. Reaching for something in my past. And maybe that's just another way of flying backwards. I've been very careful about not letting myself get stuck in what didn't happen. And instead, have chosen to see my life from a different angle through my child.

[00:02:53] What once felt like something I missed has now become something I helped create. But there is something that's bubbled to the top as I sit with this. My children may be living parts of my unfulfilled dreams. But they are not here to complete my story. They are here to live their own lives. And in this new space, I'm finding something unexpected. I'm finding room for all of us to make and live our lives as they are meant to be.

[00:03:23] Room for my children to become who they are meant to be. And room for me to continue to become who I am meant to be. Because this reflection isn't just about looking at them. It's also about me turning inward and noticing what I still want. What still matters to me. If something about this feels familiar to you, maybe you don't have to rush to define it. Just notice it for now. Notice the pride you feel.

[00:03:52] Notice the sense of accomplishment you feel for having provided. And even notice that quiet ache of what could have been if that's true for you. None of these feelings cancel each other out. They all belong and can exist together. So let yourself celebrate what you've made possible. Not just in big visible ways, but in the small steady choices that created a different path for your children. And maybe every now and then ask yourself,

[00:04:21] Is there a piece of that dream that I can still carry forward? Not to go back, not to fix anything, but just to stay connected to yourself. Because your story did not stop when you started building your children's lives. It just became more layered, more textured and more real. There is something deeply grounding about realizing that growth doesn't always look like moving ahead at full speed.

[00:04:50] Sometimes it looks like pausing long enough to see your life clearly, letting your life meet you where you are and allowing yourself to feel both proud of what you've created and curious about what's still possible for you. So when I say, when I grow up, I want to be my child, I don't mean I want their life. I mean I recognize something in them, a courage, an openness, a possibility, something that I'm learning to return to within myself.

[00:05:20] And maybe that's what this moment is really about. Not a comparison, not even going backwards, but instead a connection to them and to me. On a lighter note and in closing, I'll leave you with something that has stayed with me. After listening to one of my podcast episodes, my mother said to me, Oh my Kavi, where were you during my teenage years? I could have benefited immensely from your wise words.

[00:05:50] That made me smile. Because maybe, in a way, we're all part of this quiet evolution. Each generation learning a little more and seeing a little more clearly than the one before. Maybe we're all someone's version 2.0. Thank you for sitting with me in this reflection today. It really does mean more than I can put into words.

[00:06:19] Thank you for listening to this episode of Inner Sense with Kavita. I hope today's episode helped you look a bit deeper and understand yourself a bit better so you can consciously move towards a state of well-being. My hope is for you to live consciously and stay well.