Join Hina Ambareen on Episode 23 of "Hina's Emo Podcast" as she delves into the topic of fear of judgment. Explore how this fear can hinder your personal growth and happiness, and learn practical strategies to overcome it. Discover ways to build self-confidence and embrace your true self, free from the constraints of others' opinions. Follow us on Instagram for more insights: Click Here to Conquer Fear of Judgment.
[00:00:00] Hello my lovely people, a warm welcome to Hina's Emo wisdom podcast. Well here I am bringing about certain topics that is going to improve the wisdom when it is concerning with the emotions. Well this is Hina Ambareen Khan certified wellness, girl certified life co-speaker,
[00:00:20] author, former soil scientist from Indian Institute of Science. This topic is very interesting. It is because we all deal with this. The fear of judgement. Do you hear that little voice inside your head that says what will they think about me?
[00:00:46] Do you often contemplate your actions based on the point of view of others? Ask yourself. You may have the fear of being judged. The world has always set the standards and stereotypes in almost every aspect of life.
[00:01:02] It may be genuinely hard for many people to let out the true version of themselves. It is. It has become. And many go to the extreme level to express themselves. And we are expected to fit perfectly and neatly shaped mouths as per the societal norms.
[00:01:19] So we tend to think deeply before we act. Even if that action is in our best interest. The way we talk, the way we dress, the way we walk, the way we eat. All to just live up to the expectations of the others.
[00:01:35] And you know most of the people in the name of love they give the time. If you love me you will do this. If you love me you will not do that.
[00:01:45] And you are not living your life but only to win the love and to show that you love them you are living life. You are a dummy. But to live a wholesome and a happy life it is important to overcome the fear of being judged.
[00:02:01] By fearing judgment we end up wasting precious time and do what others think is right for us. We want to do a lot. We want to grow up in life. We want to achieve a lot of things in life but we will not live because fearing
[00:02:12] what they think about us. This will hinder our growth by keeping us in a familiar zone. If you fear being judged then kindly check out certain things that I am going to tell you. Why are you so afraid of judgment?
[00:02:26] That actually it stems from the worry that with life we live we might not be accepted or fit in. It is usually the start back in the days that happens in childhood. You remember, you kindly remember about that.
[00:02:41] When you are taught that we need to be accepted and allowed as a child we might have been told several times that we are futile. We need to be able to act in the way that people around us are going to feel good about us.
[00:02:56] If you sit quietly then only I am going to give you the chocolate. If you do like this then I am going to take you out. If you do this, if you do that, if you are like this, if you are like that and
[00:03:04] they get used to it. The silent treatment is given to the child and the child fears the silent treatment and tries to show that he is good or she is good trying to fit. How to overcome the fear of judgment?
[00:03:21] Fear of being judged can be thought as a natural mechanism. It can help humans to keep the perspective of how well the actions meet the societal cultural context that we are part of. In simpler words I can say, we ask ourselves what will others say?
[00:03:42] In Hindi most it is said, log kya kahenge? We need to evaluate how much of this fear is getting in the way of our journey of being authentically praiseworthy and growing in life.
[00:03:54] It is useful to stop every now and then to assess how much of what we are doing is for the sake of pleasing other people around us and how much feels meaningfully satisfying to oneself. These effective tips I can say build awareness about existing stereotypes.
[00:04:10] We live in a society that has constructed the norms but about everything one thing is right and the other is wrong. Something is ethical while the other is not. Having lived under these conditions for years we start believing, accepting and implementing them in our lives.
[00:04:23] Once you are aware of these stereotypes you will be able to step back from them and work in the way that is going to serve you well even if it means daring to be different. You do not have to fear.
[00:04:36] Work towards separating your own voice from the societal constructs. I strongly feel that I am not part of that because I do not get into that conformity. I am away from the herd. I always suggest that do not get into that conformity because everybody is just flowing
[00:04:58] in that you also have to flow. Stop doing that. That is what is happening. Work towards separating your own voice. That is what I am saying. Building awareness about stereotypes and rules that we all internalise unknowingly is a very useful step.
[00:05:13] You have to seek professional help always I say. A mentor and a guide who can help you clarify your thoughts and channel because our actions are stuck. We are in chaos. Our dreams are stuck because we are in chaos.
[00:05:33] When you are surrounded by people who help you to navigate the fears and confusions It helps you to respond to your life in a most beautiful way. Feel free to connect with me for one on one session and I work on the root level
[00:05:52] where I help people to deal with all this and they can live with wisdom of emotions. Impeccable confidence gets into them in every cell. And I am so so happy that people are thronging and joining and asking me and getting into
[00:06:17] the sessions and the slots that I have given. It is like flooding which was my vision, which was my purpose, which has been my mission. Watch yourself talk. Often we are caught up in our vicious loop of thoughts.
[00:06:35] Oh, I sounded so stupid or they must be thinking that I am drab or you know, I did not realize it but our brain registers our thoughts and ends up believing them. Oh, I am stupid. I was sounding stupid and they could understand that.
[00:06:52] This is the way we are telling ourselves and this is going to be fed. This leads to poor self-image and low self-esteem. Oh, I am not looking beautiful because they are not admiring me.
[00:07:00] They are not saying that I am looking good or could be this dress is not shooting on me. So, they are saying like this. Oh, I am not looking good and this and that. This leads to your poor self-image.
[00:07:10] We then start making image in our mind of others judging us negatively. The moment you stop feeling this and spot yourself thinking negatively, you are going to stop yourself right there and switch yourself. Talk to something positive to boost your self-esteem.
[00:07:29] Hey people, why do you put your worth down just because people are talking? Let it be your loved ones. What is your self-image? People and situations are ever-changing. Nothing is going to last forever.
[00:07:42] We all know that even if we were at fault for something on a particular day, people's impressions of you would not last forever. This is my personal experience. Today, it will be a bitter kind of a fight, bitter kind of a misunderstanding
[00:07:54] and the tomorrow it is like, oh sorry, it is like this and like that and all happens. The world can be a good place and some people look at the large picture of you and you can forget these trivial matters and they will also forget.
[00:08:08] If what you do is for the larger good, people will quickly forget that one blunder you made at work during the day. If they think bad about you, let them, let them and let them. Just adopt this. Let them.
[00:08:23] Some people have the habit of judging others and it is a reflection of their insecurities and not yours. If someone at work or in your home or with your relatives criticizes you in a wrong way, chances are that they lack inner security about themselves
[00:08:36] and they demean you to make themselves feel better. So stick to authenticity because the people who really love you will always acknowledge you for who you are. All the flaws are included. Accept that as human you will never be perfect to air as human.
[00:08:56] When we fear being judged, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be always perfect. Walk like this, talk like this, sit like this. Perfectionism is a myth, myth, myth, myth, myth.
[00:09:08] So stop chasing that. Embrace your mistakes and learn from them to become the best version of yourself. Do not let the fear of being judged stop you from advancing because you are afraid of a misstep.
[00:09:20] When you are taking the risk, it is the only way to progress in life. Most of all, be gentle on yourself and accept all of yourself with love, love, love and love. My dear people, I seriously love you all for your responses, for your interest,
[00:09:41] for trusting me, for joining my sessions and me helping you out and seeing the kind of brightness on your faces. It's lovely. It's lovely. I know my podcast is reaching so many people. I'm so, so blessed because my mission and my purpose to empower every single individual
[00:10:03] is like happening in such a beautiful way. I'm so blessed. Thank you so much and stay tuned listening to Hina's EmoWisdom Podcast. Share and subscribe Hina's EmoWisdom Podcast so every individual is empowered.
[00:10:20] Let's become the light of our own life and the light in the life of the people. Till then keep smiling, stay blessed. See you tata and bye-bye.