episode 19: self reflection

[00:00:00] Hello lovely people, a warm welcome to Hina's Emo wisdom podcast. This is Hina Ambareen

[00:00:05] Khan certified wellness coach, certified life coach, speaker, author, former soil scientist

[00:00:10] from Indian Institute of Science and in this episode my dear lovely people I am going

[00:00:14] to talk and share with you certain highlights taking our emotional wisdom. Well any topic

[00:00:21] that I bring is based on your life experiences or my own life experiences and that is

[00:00:28] only to make everyone's life more empowered because that has been my mission and purpose

[00:00:34] and in this episode I am just going to talk about self awareness because we are always

[00:00:39] trying to fix the people around us. We are trying to focus on why is somebody behaving

[00:00:45] like this with us, how can we try to improve our life by fixing them and rather than

[00:00:51] trying to reflect on our own self. So this is what is self awareness which we

[00:00:56] call it as the need of the hour. That is because self awareness refers to our capacity

[00:01:03] to understand better why we feel what we feel. I repeat why we feel what we feel.

[00:01:17] When you focus on yourself it helps you to be able to understand things better

[00:01:24] and take actions in a appropriate way. Therefore there may be certain situations for which

[00:01:32] reason you may not be having that emotional wisdom and the things may be the same or

[00:01:39] the situations are not trying to be seen improving. So people with high self awareness

[00:01:47] let me tell you what do they have is they know their own strengths and limitations

[00:01:52] and they do not over estimate themselves or they don't play their strengths. They have a good sense of moral values and purpose.

[00:01:58] That's very important. And more easily they can control their thoughts and behaviors

[00:02:03] where people who lack this emotional wisdom they can't control their thoughts, their

[00:02:09] behaviors because whatever you perceive they bring the emotions and feelings and

[00:02:15] they start developing the form of thoughts and the behavior which can be rude, which

[00:02:21] can be frustrating, which can be irritable, which can be pleasing, which can be painful,

[00:02:26] which can be sad, which is always crying, which is for begging. So people with low

[00:02:32] self awareness they often get trapped in the zone of people pleasing.

[00:02:39] I was a people pleaser. That was the pathetic life. So I tell you with my own experiences

[00:02:48] never be that. No, just no. Don't be a people pleaser because that's going to rip

[00:02:56] off your own self image and that's the worst thing. It's just like dying every

[00:03:04] single day only to win the hearts of the loved ones. And what are you living? You're

[00:03:09] living their life not your life. Your soul is inside you but you're trying to listen

[00:03:16] to others and trying to live their life only to please them. And where are you?

[00:03:23] You're just used up and then you're thrown. So what life is this? That's not a life.

[00:03:30] Stop being a people pleaser. Where these people with low self awareness they have a hard time

[00:03:36] accepting and hearing the feedback from others. Have a big heart where you can accept the

[00:03:41] feedback. It can be any kind of a bitter feedback though. That should not matter

[00:03:45] to you. Often they make excuses to avoid facing the harsh truth because they can't

[00:03:50] face it. They don't have that courage to face it. Oh what if even let it be

[00:03:56] any kind of rejection, it can be any failure, it can be any kind of a no that you have to

[00:04:00] hear. You're not in the zone having that power to hear it. So let me tell you certain

[00:04:08] actionable tips to boost your self awareness. Take things slow. The first thing I will

[00:04:12] tell you because we are living this fast pace. What we call it as in Hindi if

[00:04:20] I'm right. Where you are just running, running, running in the race like a marathon. When

[00:04:26] you experience anxiety, anger any kind of emotions stop. Pause. Just listen to what

[00:04:34] I am saying. Pause. When certain things like this occur in your life then you

[00:04:40] can hear oh Hina had said like this pause. Just pause. When things are not in your

[00:04:47] control pause. When something is going haywire pause. I am not saying that there is fire

[00:04:55] that's happening at your end in your place and I am not telling you just stand quietly

[00:05:01] and pause. No not that pause. Some situations are not in your control, somebody is triggering

[00:05:07] you and you get extreme anger or rage you should pause. Somebody is trying to

[00:05:12] put you down, make you sad pause. Ask yourself examine why you have to react to something

[00:05:21] which is not good for your mental peace. Get to the main cause of the emotions by

[00:05:28] asking yourself why more and more until you get to the root. Always I work on the root

[00:05:34] level of any individual my dear friends because this is the way I have been worked

[00:05:39] on myself where I was worked in such a way that from the root level I was healing, I

[00:05:47] was becoming strong and it is just like a strong kind of root and the branch that

[00:05:54] I am the trunk. I feel that by God's grace sheltering so many under this strong trunk

[00:06:02] because the roots are strong. Acknowledging the weakness if you have ever answered what

[00:06:09] is your biggest weakness for instance I work too much or I show up too early then you

[00:06:18] have got some work to do. Just take out a pen and a paper and write down three

[00:06:23] biggest weaknesses or if you can't think ask your close friends or your family members

[00:06:29] even if you feel that they are not supporting you, you are the best judge to know that.

[00:06:33] This is not an exercise to see how bad you are but a chance to acknowledge where

[00:06:38] growth can happen. Just write down a journal. If you are unaware of your thoughts why

[00:06:46] you do things for example I am feeling the urge to escape or quit but I am not sure

[00:06:53] why. You are always in a confused situation. I was though before I became a coach. I was

[00:07:00] living in a confused state all the time. Then when you have a journal that is going

[00:07:06] to help you just write down whatever you are feeling. Don't have to hesitate. Write

[00:07:12] down. Pour it down. It is just like you are vomiting everything because writing helps

[00:07:16] you to focus on your thoughts and visualize. You can also use your writing to pinpoint

[00:07:21] the root cause of the frustrations. Just writing down the time you got in a conflict

[00:07:28] with somebody. It can be your loved one or it can be with your friends. You have

[00:07:33] to just write it down. My dear friends let me tell you when you reflect on your

[00:07:40] weaknesses and on your strengths, when you work from the root level, when you

[00:07:44] assess it properly then this helps you to grow otherwise you are living a suffocated

[00:07:50] life. So I request you connect with me for one on one sessions where I can help

[00:07:57] you to get unstuck and so that you can see the growth in your life. You will

[00:08:03] feel so empowered and that is the biggest, biggest happiness that I can ever get

[00:08:09] and when I see you being that happy soul who is so empowered, a new version of

[00:08:16] you just like a lioness. Thank you so much. Thank you so much my lovely people

[00:08:25] for all your messages, your DMs, your blessings, your prayers for me. I needed

[00:08:31] the most though I don't have a mom with me. I need you to be my mother.

[00:08:37] I don't have a mom with me. Your blessings matter a lot to me. Thanks a lot

[00:08:43] for all your love. Just connect with me and I can see so many people coming up

[00:08:48] just listening to this podcast and joining me for the sessions. It's a big

[00:08:54] hats off to you lovely people for trusting Hina and joining my sessions

[00:08:58] and giving your feedback. The beautiful testimonies that I am having now

[00:09:04] and which I have been having and through this podcast and I feel so happy

[00:09:09] that I am able to empower people across the world. Thank you so much once again.

[00:09:15] Thanks a lot. Thank you so much for listening to Hina's EmoWisdom Podcast.

[00:09:22] Just stay tuned and stay empowered, stay happy, stay blessed. Till then,

[00:09:31] see you, ta ta and bye bye.