[00:00:01] Hi, I'm Big Hello and welcome to my show Unbound. I'm your host Mamtaa. A space curated for real stories of people from different walks of life who have sailed through uncharted waters and lived to tell their inspiring story. Unbound is a deep dive into their journeys.
[00:00:28] To unravel, un-erred, uncover various facets of their lives as they remain unstoppable and continue to do the unthinkable. Another spring morning and a very bright, vivacious person with us just living up to the weather to the season. Hi, I'm Rada welcome to the show Unbound. I'm Amtar.
[00:00:53] Thank you for having me, Sir. It's a real pleasure. The kind of work you've chosen for yourself, for eternity. Now these are not the kind of things that you really set out and dream or target or aspire for.
[00:01:08] How has the making been and who has Anurada been in the unfolding and making of where she is today? That's a very deep question. I think I am very different as a person to who I was even a decade ago and I think there has been a...
[00:01:31] And I think for me, as we were talking earlier, COVID has really been a very defining point in time personally and professionally. And it has done a lot of reset because there was a time which allowed me to pause and reflect
[00:01:48] and understand where do I really want to go. And I think for me it was that time that has changed so much in my life for the better, for the better. And I started Vows for eternity. You're right.
[00:02:04] Even when I was in business school, if somebody had said, are you going to start a match making company? Yeah. How does it... Well, no, I mean, I never thought about it. But I think it found me.
[00:02:16] I think the best things in life are when they find you. And I got married late by Indian standards more than a decade ago, it was 34 at the time. I wasn't ready for marriage for the longest time. I was commitment for big.
[00:02:34] But Vows for eternity was really born from my own journey. Yeah. So I think something is born from you. It has a different intensity. There is a different sense of belonging. It belongs to you as much as you belong to it. Yeah.
[00:02:55] But so different, I mean, you do say that love is not enough. I do. Right? I do. Explain it to me for a life, fulfill of commitment, responsibilities, journeys together, witnessing each other's journey. If love is not enough, then what is?
[00:03:17] You know, there is a lot more that goes into a relationship. There is a sense of, like you said, commitment. And that doesn't only come from love. It comes from a very deep respect for each other.
[00:03:37] It's a sense of responsibility towards each other, towards family, towards the institution of marriage. Right? There is, there are, it, it marges its, it's so fragile in so many ways. And yet it's so integral to us as a, you know, culturally as well.
[00:04:02] But it's, there is so much two people come together. They, with the intention of spending a lifetime together. And they grow together to the, not grow together, to the, to the grow apart same experiences does that bring them closer? Does that not?
[00:04:20] So there are so much else to it. There is, the day-to-day practicality is, the relationship also changes over a period of time. Absolutely. People change relationship. People change. They have to change life. Yeah. Two people come together.
[00:04:35] If they decide to have children, that's a different dynamics in the relationship. And then children grow up, they may fly the nest. That's again a different dynamics. So it's not only love. Love is there but I think respect.
[00:04:51] Friendship is a very important part of a, of a marriage. And acceptance, you know, sometimes you may love somebody. Yeah. Sometimes in stoppers from trying to change them. True. So acceptance is very important because each person should have in a marriage I think it's
[00:05:08] a space where each person should have the freedom and the space to beat themselves. themselves. Totally. So a lot more than love. Yeah. While you started, it was for eternity and you were into an early marriage yourself at that time.
[00:05:23] If I'm getting the numbers right like you said, decade into words for eternity and earlier, decade into the marriage, how has one led to the growth or progress of the others? So while you were witnessing your own journey, where you also feeling the same insights
[00:05:40] back into the work that you were doing with people or what you were seeing out there with others. Is it something that you were taking as lessons and then implying them in your own marriage too? I think you're right.
[00:05:54] You know, we have it's been parallel tracks and we have both grown together. So I was in London when I met on and then got married. I wasn't ready to move. I realized after I got married that I wasn't ready to move to the US.
[00:06:08] I had always said I'm never moving to the US when I was younger. And that also taught me that you may have your own plans but life really has its own plans. Yeah. So we got married. I went to the Moldeys for Ahani Moon, came back to Delhi.
[00:06:27] I got in a flight and went back to London and Anna took a flight and went back to LA and said okay what next? And I said I don't know you tell me and then it took me 10 months to be ready to move to LA where he was.
[00:06:44] And for those eight months out of the ten, he moved to London. Okay. And then when we were in LA for a few years and then we moved to New York City where we were from many, many years.
[00:06:58] And that is where you know, while so eternity was really born. I saw a lot of people close to me going through something very similar. For me the whole two pieces of paper, biodeaters trying to find each other did not work.
[00:07:16] And so over time I have grown in my relationship, I have seen a few stages of my relationship. You know and equally I've learned from my own experiences but equally I've learned from experiences of life in general right a decade and a half later.
[00:07:35] I am a very different person. Absolutely. So they've both really helped each other I guess. Yeah. Just as how it is because it's the same person at the end of it right? So you are whatever you are inviting either you are taking into somewhere and feeding
[00:07:50] in somewhere or you're feeding in somewhere and taking it from somewhere. I think it's kind of that's what is who we are as humans. We can there's no separation really right?
[00:08:00] And I think if you listen, you know and what I do a lot of that is when you take the time out to listen to someone and listen to their life journey and life experiences.
[00:08:10] And just listen without any judgment we do the best that we can at a point in time in any relationship whether it's being a parent or child or a sibling or whatever. So I think when you just listen to somebody else's life journey and their experiences
[00:08:27] and the ups and the downs, the ups never shape us. That's open great open a bottle of champagne and you're good to go but it's really the low moments that define us. And so that has been a great source of learning for me.
[00:08:41] And I feel very blessed and very privileged that people have really opened up about their life journeys with me and I think it is nothing but a blessing. Yeah. Relationship has been a theme for you in life.
[00:08:53] I mean other than Vows for eternity, for the first 34 years when you were just observing witnessing and by being learning, you know, growing, educating yourself how was life back then and even at your formative grounds in your family has that been the core of your bringing up bringing?
[00:09:12] You know, I've already, so I did psychology for five years. And for me, I've always, the depths that you, there are two things that have always been very important to me. Travel because you understand different cultures, landscapes and how they really talk
[00:09:32] to each other and the other has been just people. You know, that is always, I think the most fascinating thing for me in the world is not AI and I know that's the buzzword or all of those things but it really is people.
[00:09:46] How nuanced we are as human beings, how intrinsically flawed we can be. And how beautiful we can be because of those flaws. Because that's what makes us human. Absolutely. And this is something that is always, always fascinated me. So life is by design or is it by default?
[00:10:09] What would you say to that? I don't know actually. I think I have always not always when I was younger, I was very sure that I've got it all figured out and this is how I want my life to be. This is what I'm going to be doing.
[00:10:26] This is what I'm not going to do. This is where I want to live. This is not, I think it was where I felt that I'm in control and like feel go the way I wanted to go. And today I think that was being extremely nice.
[00:10:43] Life said okay buddy, if this is what you think you're going to be doing, I'm going to show you who's the boss. And I think so for a while I didn't know what hit me because I was trying to resist.
[00:10:57] I was like, this is not what I decided. And then at some point I made peace with the fact that life is going to throw certain cards away. And the only control that we have is to decide how we are going to react to what it's
[00:11:17] throwing up absolutely. And then that was, I think another defining point for me and it changed to me. It's got a lot more humility, a lot more a greater sense of this greater sense of purpose.
[00:11:35] And that's when I realized that we are all here to learn something and we have to figure out what we are here to learn. And I started going with the flow. And once I started with going with the flow, I think that was another changing point.
[00:11:50] It's interesting that while you say, wow, it's for eternity. But we know that there's no relationship that exists, that perfectionism, the idea of that perfectionism, that till eternity or till death to a support. In this more, the landscape, the world, people thought everything has been ever-leuting
[00:12:11] evolving forever and it will continue to do so with the millennials at hand now, this generation who's so scared to swipe right or left, who's so scared to even be who they are sometimes because of the judgements, because of the biases or the internal, unshurities or insecurities.
[00:12:34] Do you think it is really was for eternity? Or is it only about one relationship, one thing at a time and just being sure about that for now? You know, I think in life it's all about intent.
[00:12:50] And I'm a big believer in karma and I think karma is not-it is formed, not at the action state is formed at the thought stage which is intent. I don't think there is anyone and yes, divorces on the rise and I think that's probably
[00:13:04] part of what you were referring to but I think when anybody gets married, any of us get married thinking it's going to be forever. Nobody gets into a marriage saying, I'll see how it goes. I'm going to try it out, right?
[00:13:20] So I think the intent is always-this is my forever and for different reasons, you know, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out but that is not the intent when somebody is getting in. Somebody is getting in it is forever.
[00:13:33] So I think that is really where this comes from and I feel that it doesn't matter to the millennials or you know, I think we all want to be with somebody where we feel needed, where we feel hurt, where we feel loved and that is a universal phenomenon.
[00:13:52] True. For every living being for every one. Not only human being, I would say even a pet for example or even a plant in your balcony would want their attention that care, that love, that energy of nutrients.
[00:14:07] So to say, but my question again, referring back to it in the advent of technology, while you did indicate that you're not such a great believer, but we cannot take away the impact and the rule that it is playing in our lives.
[00:14:19] Where, you know, the others approval or judgment of view of how they are looking at us as a profile, as someone who's an Instagram, as someone who's on Facebook or on a Tinder profile becomes more important in centric to my being.
[00:14:39] How do you really, how do you kind of train that mind or sort of help that mind understand that you're so much more beyond? I don't think it's my job really to train somebody else's mind.
[00:14:54] I'm trying to still figure myself out and I think that it is up to us to decide how much control we give somebody else in our life. And if you give the key to your happiness, wherever you happen is my life, to somebody
[00:15:09] else, whether it's social media or it's your partner, the moment you give that control to somebody else, then you're not in control of your happiness somebody else will decide what makes you happy, what does not. So I have, I'm not a believer of that.
[00:15:26] I think you have to really decide the boundaries, and you have to decide what is real and what is not real. Those are journeys that I think each of us have to travel alone on. Coming to the entrepreneurs side now, some bit of challenges would have definitely come
[00:15:47] your way. Even while you were creating this idea or germinating or both in this idea and then being on that journey, what have been your biggest fears and failures? You know I come from a business background. My first venture was when I was in school.
[00:16:08] I started with investing in the stock market and I was while you were in school. Yes, through our family sort of investors. But it was, I remember when I was in first year of college, I started my own venture in the garments domestically.
[00:16:30] And I remember getting a call from, again, I think it was the times of India in Lucknow where I was at the time where they featured me and there was somebody who wrote in, you know,
[00:16:41] father and a daughter had wanted to speak to me as saying that they are, at that time, 20 years ago or maybe 25 years ago. That was not very common for women to start their own, you know, things.
[00:16:54] I mean now entrepreneurship is buzzword and there are a lot of people doing that ecosystem is supporting, it families are supporting it. So I think that was when I spoke to the father and the daughter and you know that was
[00:17:08] very insightful for me because they said, you know, this is really, the daughter spoke about how what reading about in the paper, reading about what I was doing inspired by her. And so that's really when my journey really started and then I went into exports and then
[00:17:22] I sold that and then I, you know, exited that and then I moved to Australia from business school. So this was not my first venture but certainly and this has not been my last, but it
[00:17:35] has certainly it is and it continues to be the one closest to my heart. So I think I don't think I'm scared as a person. I think that's part of being an entrepreneur that I think we are very risked take us
[00:17:48] if we were risk of us, we wouldn't be entrepreneurs. So yeah, so you kind of came very close to my question which is also about the biases of the internal dialogues or things that we feel just because of a limiting belief, maybe
[00:18:01] we have drawn on ourselves and saying, oh, I'm not sure whether I'll be able to do it or I'm not sure how this will happen or I'm not sure about how people will take it or
[00:18:09] perceive of me at sector certain biases that came in your way from external and internal. So external, I think I have again, I don't know maybe it's a, it's a floor but I have never really given that much importance to somebody externally, anyone to be able
[00:18:30] to dictate choices or perception. I've never needed that external validation and I think, I think this is my life, I make my own choices and I will live by them. Good, bad, ugly, I will live by them.
[00:18:49] And that is what has always defined in some sort of a thought lineage is it coming from the dry, parenting done or I don't know. I don't know, I think my parents have always encouraged me to follow my dreams and
[00:19:03] I've always believed and I'm sure a lot of that credit goes to them that they've always made me feel secure. They've said, fly, we're here. And I think that has helped me a lot, I think that sense of stability and that sense of security and shortness that.
[00:19:22] And I think the sense of, you know, you don't know till you don't try. Yeah. And I've always said this and I believe this very strongly that the only limits that really matter are the ones that you put on yourself or so, totally. Totally. What about failures?
[00:19:38] And I'm sure they must be a few. No, they've been more than a few. You've been more than half, how have you taken them in your stride? And what does it really mean for you? It means it reminds me that I have a lot to learn.
[00:19:53] Every failure reminds me that I don't know as much as I might think I might know sometimes. It reminds keeps me grounded. It also reminds me of, it gives me a space.
[00:20:06] It tells me that I need to take a step back and I need to look at what is happening. Whether it's personal, it's professional. There are all sorts of failures. There are all sort of challenges. If as an entrepreneur, it can be all consuming.
[00:20:20] You focus on one thing and then you realize another part of your life is really taking a little bit of a beating and then you realize, hey, how do I fix this? I don't believe in balance because I think it's very, very tough to achieve the work
[00:20:35] and life balance. I think the balance is within you and you. But failures, I think coming back to failures, I think each failure has really made me introspect and I have taken each failure, I've broken it down to the lowest common denominator.
[00:20:54] Tell me any example from your life. So you know anytime for example during COVID. That was the point when up to COVID there was a lot of in this, in the build-up to the company.
[00:21:13] We were traditionally, a lot into the traditional media in terms of who we are and marketing and all of those things and then everything stops. But as a company, we did not have a small team about 30 or people globally Canada,
[00:21:28] US, London, Dubai, India but we never had, but the grace of God, we did not lay anybody off but it was a very challenging time and we had to reinvent. And that's when a focus shifted a lot from traditional to digital and all, you know,
[00:21:48] so in the last two years we built a in-house marketing team, we realized we identified what was core and what was known core and you don't outsource what is core and you don't keep in-house what is known core.
[00:22:03] So we changed the fundamental ways in which the business is really set up and I think that, you know, and again, that is just one example. But I think at every step and I've gone back to school in the last year and that was
[00:22:25] very refreshing because again, you know, you're in a class full of 160 people on the learning side again. Yeah, oh, we had their businesses globally and you realize that hey, I don't really know enough enough and this so much happening every day that's that's the end then
[00:22:44] again, you know, you, you, I went, you know, I'm in a 26 month program and then I came back and again I broke everything down and we started these changes last year. Across the company new divisions, new teams change of people all of those things and it's continuing.
[00:23:03] Yeah, changes always. I think changes. I think changes good. I love change. How do you adapt to it? What's your one go to thing like I'm sure a lot of resistance come a lot of having
[00:23:16] known how you do and knowing that oh, I know how it is done and then just drop it. Like how do you, how do you adapt yourself to that? How do you look at change from that challenge perspective?
[00:23:27] Oh my God, there's got to be a rewiring that needs to be done here. You know, I don't find changes are challenges at all. Okay. I love change because it gives me something new. It's so risk and change both goes your way. Yes, I love, I love change.
[00:23:42] I've never, I think when to embrace something, you don't have to, you don't have to struggle with it. Yeah. I'm very sad. I embrace it fully at unbound. We believe in the power of unhinged minds and untamed ideas of people from all walks of life.
[00:24:00] As we sit down to talk with some of them, we are listening to your voice as well. So share your thoughts, ideas or takeaways from this podcast as a review on Apple Podcasts.
[00:24:13] I would like to know the role of mother, woman who have inspired you to be this self-assured being that you are or has there been play or father and other genders too. Other genders too. It's been my mother and it's been my husband.
[00:24:32] Two people who have, you know, my father's silently is always supported me as well. But I think two people who are very actively are instrumental in playing a very active role in getting to where I am and in me being able to make the choices that I made.
[00:24:54] You know, if I made certain choices, those were my choices. But the reality is that without the help of my mother and my husband, it is impossible to go out and do things. Always need a solid support structure, right?
[00:25:14] And that, like for example, last year I was, you know, I'm in Harvard, I'm in business school and I was at Good Boston for a month, it's like a since 26 month program. So this is a residency program. Yes, it is.
[00:25:25] So, my husband said, you know, he will be fine, he'll hold forward, he'll take care of the children and all of those things. I long with work. I mean, we do have, we do have, I think we've fortunate to have help at home.
[00:25:40] But I had never left the children for that long. So I asked my mother, you know, will you come and, you know, she came over and our parents are not getting younger but she was there on the next flight and that was it.
[00:25:59] But I, you know, to support the unconditional love without that, nothing moves. Yeah. And it's, it's very nice that you say that and you say that so, you know, frankly and candidly because we think, there is a lot of support for this.
[00:26:18] So I'm going to go to college, I'm supporting this. First, you have to support this. It's okay, mother, you have to support this. But actually that support is a forever thing. You really can't move beyond your territory, if you're dreaming big, if you're dreaming
[00:26:33] something different at every level, you would need that support today. You may be, you know, in your 40s, you need that support, even in 50s, you will need that support. Even in 60s, you will need that support, right?
[00:26:45] So even understanding and decoding it in yourself and then asking for it. Sometimes you don't even allow ourselves to ask. Yeah, you know, again, it's not, you know, it's, it's, it's not amazing. You know, it, no, actually it's not difficult either because I think it's not a,
[00:27:04] you really are who you are with the help of a lot of people. Absolutely. Not only in your personal life, but even in your professional life, you cannot truly create something totally. I might have a vision for something, I'm working on something which is, you know,
[00:27:25] which is on a larger scale, but you can have a vision. But in the end, you're only as good as your team. Your team has to believe in what you are trying to create. And they have to support you. So it's not only limited to personal.
[00:27:42] Any interpersonal relationship is dependent on being there for each other. And it's a two-way street, yeah. Your mom's been a working one. I would just like to know a little bit about your mom, like her life and how has she read you up?
[00:28:00] Has she been a working parent? No, she hasn't. She hasn't worked. But I think she, um, how many siblings are you? Um, it's, it's, um, you know, it's me. I had a youngest sister who passed away many years ago.
[00:28:22] So it is, um, it's me, but I think growing up with two daughters. I don't think I ever felt my parents, um, you know, just never, you know, that was just everything was there for, you know, depending on your capability,
[00:28:38] your interest, your capacity, your willingness to, for adventure. I think my, the, my love for adventure comes from all from my, from my mom. My love to, um, to be able to, um, to be a grounded comes from my mom.
[00:28:56] I think my love for, uh, for believing in myself comes from my mom, because in the lowest of moments there's not been a single time when my mother has not stood by me. Yeah. And um, she's the one person who's always believed, I'm here.
[00:29:15] I'm here. It'll be all okay. Yeah. That's all I need it. Wow. And sometimes that is just so enough. It is so enough. Yeah. Getting into again, um, an area of work which is so people driven, people centric impacting their lives
[00:29:35] have you actually seen many perfect marriages around you? Depends on what the definition of perfect marriage is. Um, but that's also for me. Uh, my personal opinion is that as human beings we're all flawed.
[00:29:50] So I struggle to understand how when two flawed people come together, it can be perfect. How do they expect perfection, right? It's, it's doubly flawed. But I think so. I don't know if
[00:30:03] flaws come complement each other. So I think the, the way I look at a marriage is two people who come together were uh, with different strengths. Yeah. Imagine a team where both people have the same
[00:30:15] stats. Very lobs I didn't. Yeah. So I think the different strengths is really important. And that's why I said for me love is not only enough. It's about embracing each other and and there everybody
[00:30:25] will have certain hotspots. Certain things that are, you know, you have to, that's all that. You have to know certain things about your partner that are, you know, that in, in not and and respect that decoded for me. It's too, uh, in pursuit of happiness in a marriage.
[00:30:42] What is if at all? If not perfectionism, but what is decode that okay do this, do that? Do do not do this, do not do that? Are they are there any checklist like few things? Yes, do's don'ts
[00:30:55] that you've sort of defined it out by now, mapped it out. Look at so many. No, I wish I had, but I haven't because I think that, you know, in a relationship only those two people know what works for
[00:31:07] them and what doesn't and there's no cookie cut to solution. So I think the, I think the couple general things that I can, I can really say. I think that it's very important in, uh, in a relationship
[00:31:18] in a marriage to truly lean on each other. There'll be a lot of noise all around you always, especially in the marriage always. But I think you have to really, I remember Ann and one said to me that, you know,
[00:31:36] I think I was upset about something and, you know, a new marriage, a lot of expectations and things like that and from both sides, you know, they're advice is coming the Lord and he said, I know,
[00:31:47] remember this at the end, it's just you and me. Wow. So as long as we have each other, we are backing each other, everything else is noise. I think that said in an early marriage is such a
[00:32:01] real formation and I think that's where we go wrong because we're just trying to fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, that let it look perfect, let it look, it should be good for them, it should be good for them
[00:32:12] for this one and if you could really have that insight, I mean, Ann and there's a really matured and he world is a lot of my maturity today that I'm sitting here and, you know, also sharing with
[00:32:24] you I think a lot of that comes from here. I wish to have both of you. He's really rock solid. So I can't take the credit for most of these things I've evolved and learned a lot from him over
[00:32:38] time. Tell me something about your kids and how, how is motherhood keeping you really? You know, since I was very little, I've always wanted to be a mother and that was a very, that has always been a very important part for me and I would always visualize
[00:33:03] bringing the doorbell and the door opening and my kids running to me and I just scoop them up. And again, I am so blessed that I'm living that dream. And so I have twins, a boy and a girl,
[00:33:21] Mahayarani Shahn who is seven and they truly give that meaning, that sense of, you know, sense of purpose comes from many things in one's life and they give a lot of that sense of purpose
[00:33:37] to me and again, just that running to me, mama, just sitting, you know, I love the time that I spend with them and it has taught me so much about myself. It has taught me about the things
[00:33:55] that I did not realize, I was and which I did not like when as I got aware of it and I realized how when you look at life through their eyes, how different that is and how I'm, I mean,
[00:34:11] all of how children look at life and the beauty that they see and that has actually helped me get again, change of perspective. So that is being made you a better human. I think it's,
[00:34:25] I think being a mother has definitely made me a much better human being than I than I ever was. But it's so seem a lot of times we are on that mom's guilt. I also have two sons and
[00:34:38] when you have to prioritize like we were just talking earlier that okay this does not come in my list of priority right now, whether I like it or I don't. I don't want to say that work is coming
[00:34:50] in the way but work is where I need to be right now. How do you deal with that? I don't know if I would really call it a guilt but those feelings, those emotions, how do you sort of balance
[00:35:02] yourself and make a way through them? I allow myself to feel them yeah and then I let them pass you know because and then the other thing I do is I talk to them. Because so many times women
[00:35:21] do not want to grow because of that they want to get, they choose to get stuck in these guilt. You know I think we all have our own journeys and we have all make our own choices
[00:35:33] and you know and people will have different perceptions about things that remember when we were in India and the children were very little. There were times when I would travel, I would travel in India outside India and sometimes I heard that you know the children are
[00:35:52] really small, they really need them other and all and I said well you know nobody would say this if Anand was traveling right and and once I was very upset and I spoke to Anand about it he said
[00:36:05] you know what you have to follow your heart, you have to do what feels right to you and I think that I have always lived life and at the end of the day I'm only answerable to myself. If I feel
[00:36:19] that I'm I'm fine I'm not done anything wrong you are not judging yourself so long. Yes because life is so much simpler you are only answerable to yourself so as long as you can say you're fine
[00:36:33] you know you can you can they'll always be moments of guilt. They're always moments of you know when I was even coming on the strip and and they were like for two days before I was leaving
[00:36:44] they were like mama mama you know they were like to meet clean yeah. And what I explained to them I said you know I would not have gone if I didn't have to but you know when you take something
[00:36:55] when you take the responsibility of something you must follow through and they listened quietly without any comment I don't know whether that was because they didn't understand what I'm saying but I think they they see it in your eyes they can they can read a lot more.
[00:37:15] Then then you give them credit for absolutely a very very perceptible and intelligent humans I mean much more than what we can sense and too because I think we at some point have become very
[00:37:27] numb to ourselves and they are very cute and because that's their life for us and yeah that's so beautifully said I mean literally I I really wish that women do take a lot of inspiration
[00:37:40] men women everyone who's watching do take that inspiration do not fall in that you know pot of self judgment hatred or apology and do pursue their dreams. You know I have to say this that it's
[00:37:57] I'm a very very flawed individual right and but but I'm okay with it yeah but there's no load of making it perfect either right you know I am who I am you know if I was more evolved or if I was
[00:38:11] less flawed I I don't think about those things right I you know I'm just very flawed and I don't use it as a I don't use it as a excuse but I I don't believe in perfection
[00:38:30] when it comes to human beings because then we would be less than a perfect human being is less than human I that's what my sense is I think the beauty is in the you know when you look at
[00:38:43] something it has little cracks and whatever it tells you about the experiences that we've had so I think it's just the jajones right so they they they they remind us of of those of those journeys
[00:38:54] the heart that we faced at time you know the heart ache that we've had the fears the anguish the anger the insecurity is the anxiety and that is what makes us who we are so we I think it's about
[00:39:10] being proud owning who you are you know so of course when you do come out someone who's so grounded so powerful and so resurrected in her own being one question something that really broke your in life
[00:39:26] and how did you emerge from that any relationship or any circumstance I think we really broke me in my life was when my sister passed away yeah she was 21 it was doctor negligence and I think
[00:39:45] that is something that I think that was a turning again another turning yeah yeah and all were you like how about we were five five and a half years apart okay and I remember I was in
[00:40:04] Melbourne business school I was in spring my senior the old man I'm the old one okay so you know it was a tough very very tough time and I and my mother said to me
[00:40:15] for the mother to lose a child I remember for the 12 days she did not step out of the hospital and we did everything that we could have but you know if your comfortable telling what really happened
[00:40:27] you know that's a long story but I think you know I think so for and then my mother said to me you need to get back to school and I said no I want to be here with you she said no
[00:40:41] you have a commitment to your school you you've started something you have taken something on you need to go and finish it I will be okay and I remember to me what really stands out is
[00:40:58] you know that that you know as you have the the ceremonies and things after the ritual I did not have I my mother stood there silently the sense of grief and the sense of grace
[00:41:16] that I saw at the same time I was you know it's just redefined again there've been so many milestones in my life that redefined things and it is you know about how how we choose to
[00:41:37] you know the grace dignity commitment loyalty love respect how important these things are and you know so that truly was I think the breaking point was really a very very low time for me for a very very long time how did you deal with your grief?
[00:41:58] I didn't deal with it well I ran away in a way I the plan was always to go study come back because life he was very comfortable and but I just could not get back I I'm not proud of it but that was
[00:42:13] it I came back to India and I couldn't deal with it I'm not very good when it comes to dealing with people I love very much when they are sick oh when they are sick I guess you know
[00:42:28] so I'm not very good at that so I think I did deal with it I just ran away and I couldn't bear to be here has it kind of left to hold in the soul or are you are on your way to
[00:42:40] kind of moving over it or moving with it you know I just think it's it's I think there are so many of us who experience loss in very many different ways and I think that I you I don't believe
[00:42:59] that time is the greatest healer and that you I just think you get used to a new normal and you just get used to that they will always be a void that is left in one's life and that of course
[00:43:12] for anybody who's experienced loss of some sort why I just dealt into this a little more was we we've actually had a grief coach and she calls herself grief ally her name is Ali Bourd she's one
[00:43:26] of the authors from Canada and she's actually done a complete episode with us on dealing with grief and I would highly recommend if sometime you can take time out and take a look at that.
[00:43:37] Sure yeah because I think these things again it's so much a part of being who we are humans but we don't want to face it we don't want to talk about it we don't want to acknowledge it and we
[00:43:48] definitely don't want to deal with it you know we want to just something else to take over we just make space and then we're like okay please take me away you know yeah I mean I don't know
[00:44:00] I mean it might it might just bring up another new perspective absolutely I'll definitely check it out yeah so now I think we're pretty much at the end in the last leg of our show this is my personal
[00:44:13] round which I call like a rapid reflex round it's a quick volume of questions which I've been doing though but this time you don't have too much time to think okay so here we go one thing you would
[00:44:27] like to tell your 16 year old self just to live to be less serious to live. Right one thing that you do like as a must have a ritual first thing in the morning I think I have my
[00:44:44] my my thyroid medicine as the first time in a ritual but all right complete this sentence for me kids to you are love love to you is acceptance life to you is love joy to you is relationships
[00:45:02] travel to you is wonder relationships to you is or are learning one thing which is kind of a last thing that you do as you wrap your day I read a story book to my children and I hold them
[00:45:19] very very close and I tuck them into bed your favorite author you know I've been reading a lot of books on business and philosophy and all of that so I don't have a favorite author is this more
[00:45:34] philosophies that I look at okay your life's biggest philosophy is the only limits that really matter are what you set on yourself and the only person you're unsrubble to is yourself one message
[00:45:47] that you'd like to give to your mother mom I wish I could be more like you oh all hard one thing you'd like to say do I know I know I couldn't have done this without you yeah family to you is my space
[00:46:04] and marriage how do you sum up the institution of marriage marriage to me is um evolving it's made me realize that home is not a place but it's a person wow how beautiful is that
[00:46:21] which was my next question that home to you is those people who make make that family and courage correct you can be in the best place in the world and if you are for yourself it really
[00:46:32] doesn't mean much yeah and you're with the right person and then it's you could be in the shack in the middle of nowhere yeah and it feels complete totally never have you ever learned how to swim
[00:46:46] not yet you'll do it with your exam show I am actually learning how to swim with my kids so they are we are in the same pool with different teachers yes and they are at a higher level than I am
[00:46:58] trying to catch up they like mama could you swim to the you know to the base of the pool and pick up that the the the the whoop and I said I couldn't do it how sweet is that one thing there summarizes
[00:47:11] and you're rather in this lifetime a secret food for you is opportunity to it means to just spend time you know with you with somebody yeah and one Zen sport on this planet one
[00:47:27] sport which kind of refreshes you regenerate you you walk in in a certain space of mine and you always walk out thrilled happy joyer satisfied peaceful what is that Zen sport a duck and your favorite
[00:47:41] travel destination on this planet again there are certain things that I've really that have really impacted me I think the trip to to Israel to Jerusalem was one of those I think
[00:47:56] Egypt was one of those so they've been many Greece I love so they've been many many many over every year we take a month off as a family okay and we explore one part of the world last year for
[00:48:11] example we went to Portugal you spend a month there travel the length and breadth of the of the country and spend a lot of time together and it was it was we do that off the beaten track yeah
[00:48:24] places one last of course not the least thing that you would want to say to the women of today to the women entrepreneurs to the mothers of today who are on their entrepreneurs the general journey believe in yourself even sometimes when nobody else does
[00:48:42] and follow your dreams very often we give our dreams up and that's very high price to pay follow your dreams and perfection is a very overrated concept to the best you can and then just let it be
[00:49:04] one of my personal favorite takeaway from today's episode is when you said that if we are trying to hard to be perfect like if you're in in the human journey then we are anyway demeaning the humanism
[00:49:17] humanity and I think that's so true let's lose that pursuit of happiness with perfection I think we're just the perfect way we are just the way that you have come today totally and bound on this show
[00:49:29] thank you for sharing your journey your purpose your joy with us it was an amazing amazing conversation thanks and thank you thank you very much for having me it's been a real pleasure it was
[00:49:40] wonderful talking to you man yeah let's keep and I'm doing together thank you so much for listening to today's episode I would love to know from you what idea or insight you unbox from today's
[00:49:57] conversation just drop your message over LinkedIn or in my inbox and remember to follow this podcast so that when the next episode drops you can join me for yet another one too keep coming and keep unbounding till then this is your host Mubta signing off