[00:00:01] A space curated for real stories of people from different walks of life who have sailed
[00:00:20] through uncharted waters and lived to tell their inspiring story. Unbound is a deep dive
[00:00:26] into their journeys to unravel, unearth, uncover various facets of their lives as they remain
[00:00:34] unstoppable and continue to do the unthinkable.
[00:00:37] Stopping the most glamour eyes and you know the most I don't know sort of section of any
[00:00:51] newspaper which is page three, Bollywood and then now completely switching gears and going
[00:00:57] on the very non glamourized side of life which is all about internal body diseases etc. Like
[00:01:06] have you been mentally able to and I'm sure you have to adapt to the flair of writing
[00:01:13] also right?
[00:01:14] Absolutely.
[00:01:15] As an Ikea's one-liners to now really getting into the depth of the content that you are creating
[00:01:23] curating then how has it been? Did you have to really the training grounds?
[00:01:30] You know luckily enough maybe not a lot of people would know but when I began my journalism
[00:01:36] career I was not entirely focusing on entertainment. I started as a lifestyle sort of journalist
[00:01:44] wherein I would do random stories on okay kids turning more into becoming radio jockeys or
[00:01:51] what professions are the young people going for mind related stories that I used to do.
[00:01:58] You were doing that?
[00:01:59] I used to when I started and then I shifted gears into entertainment completely. I've
[00:02:05] always been someone who's had a more bent of mind has been always towards softer
[00:02:12] stories never towards hard news at least as a writer more about analyzing people so
[00:02:19] that always interested me. Even while I was doing the glamour connecting with people on
[00:02:28] a person to person basis used to be the focus instead of taking out a lot of sensational
[00:02:36] new stories. So I think that really helped me.
[00:02:41] What nearly 10-12 years with the I-12?
[00:02:44] 12 years of being where you started like what kept you glued. I mean people are exploring
[00:02:53] and you know the world is at their feet at least so is that in their head at that
[00:02:58] junction of their life and they're just starting out then what really kept you
[00:03:02] so firmly grounded because every time I will meet you every time I like are you
[00:03:07] switching jobs are you looking to go somewhere else so what kept you so firmly
[00:03:12] footed there?
[00:03:13] Yeah it became the joke in the industry that you're like furniture in INS but you know
[00:03:20] it was a really nice journey I think about stability and dedication. So as long as
[00:03:31] I am anywhere I think these two attributes would continue to keep me where I am I continue
[00:03:39] to take each day with the excitement of joining a new place and I think that is
[00:03:45] important then you don't get bored. I hear a lot of people these days saying
[00:03:50] there's nothing new and exciting it's so boring but I think you have to find
[00:03:56] excitement in your job every day nobody can find it for you or nobody will serve it
[00:04:01] on a platter for you so I think that is extremely important and that kept me
[00:04:07] glued where I was it's not that they weren't growth opportunities those are always there
[00:04:13] but it's ultimately you have to realize from within what you want from life if
[00:04:19] you are happy where you are I don't think there's a problem with that.
[00:04:23] And was there never a misfit Radhika in your head because see like I've also worked in the
[00:04:29] media entertainment domain and then there's always that you know kind of a created life
[00:04:35] which kind of convinces you that that is the life that is. That is all about glamour,
[00:04:40] that is all about being to fancy hotels going for these press conferences visiting such fancy
[00:04:46] locations and you know being in in that I mean it has its own stardom as a journalist or
[00:04:52] someone even someone who's working behind the scenes you do carry that stardom somewhere on
[00:04:59] your head and then actually going back to that humble building at INS. I mean what was it was
[00:05:09] it was it actually a leveler for you? No, A, I think you have to love your job wherever you
[00:05:14] are right so going back to wherever you come from it's fine and I was never sort of enamoured
[00:05:21] by that glamour bit yes it was always exciting to interview celebrities rub shoulders yeah but I
[00:05:30] think that I always took it as part of my job rather than something I was privileged to do.
[00:05:35] So you were never disillusioned? I was never disillusioned or I was never like oh my god you
[00:05:42] know that I've met this star yeah because I remember you know you would be you yourself
[00:05:47] will be hosted like how by the PR balas you know we're constantly rubbing you and massaging
[00:05:55] your ego and wanting to take you to the best place to the best five star you know host you here and
[00:06:01] there and that would never get on your head? No, I don't think I ever let that get to my head.
[00:06:06] Of course when it's new to you you feel it's great but you know I think I would credit
[00:06:12] my first boss hugely for that, Arpana. She expressed confidence in my ability very early on in my career
[00:06:24] I think I was sent for my first international assignment on behalf of IONS when I was not even
[00:06:31] a year into the profession and I think that confidence that she expressed in me really gave
[00:06:38] me a jumpstart to believe okay this is something I can do but it never I don't remember it making me
[00:06:49] feel like I'm a league above the others just because I'm being allowed to do this. I think that
[00:06:56] would be a wrong way to approach work any kind of work ever. But we have seen editors in that
[00:07:03] league honestly where they would you know not respond to mails to calls or they would just
[00:07:10] have a very cold feet on you while they may be dying for that story and they would sometimes even
[00:07:16] use you as a peg you know to just get to the celebrity or get that access. I'm talking the
[00:07:23] filter between the PR people and the journalists you know so but I've never seen that come from
[00:07:30] you that vibe was never ever you were always reachable approachable you were always open to
[00:07:36] exploring I mean I would just eat your heads out maybe for on a half an hour call and you'll be
[00:07:41] like I'm listening I'm listening. No I'm sure I've been that person sometime with someone
[00:07:47] who has chased me but again Mamta I've really approached people as people not as PR people
[00:07:55] and I think that stands to say a lot about the relationships I've built over years it's not
[00:08:03] transactional. True. I am not built like that I can't do transactional relationships with people where
[00:08:11] okay I have done this for you now you do this for me yeah it doesn't work like that for me.
[00:08:16] So I think that kept building the foundation of extremely strong relationships which have
[00:08:23] reaped organic benefits for me I would say through my career through my career transitions
[00:08:29] and that's very important for me yeah and this is something I also tell people I've
[00:08:37] tried to mentor over the years that build relationships and build genuine relationships.
[00:08:42] Yeah so ladies and gentlemen just just to give you a small understanding me and Radhika go back
[00:08:51] as far as our professions are 14-15 years mean to PR and she into journalism and we have grown to be
[00:08:57] great allies friends you know people who have have great respect for each other's work
[00:09:04] and that's one thing which has always mesmerized me while she looks so demure, polite,
[00:09:11] unazuming but she knows her head so strong so strong and and that's what you know kind of
[00:09:18] has always been an attraction factor also that okay let's if this story is not going through
[00:09:23] or somebody's not giving us a listen or whatever this editor is not okay Radhika is one person I can
[00:09:30] at least you know put my brainstorm with or you know get that guidance or idea going with yeah.
[00:09:37] There was somebody I'll tell you Mamta that is responsible for this so there was a senior
[00:09:43] journalist in our office he's unfortunately no more Mr. Vishnu Makhijani he was a he had lots of
[00:09:53] years of experience and he taught me you know he would send me to this indiscriminate events
[00:10:03] he would just send me to these random events where I could never find a story I think once
[00:10:08] he sent me to this car launch page 3 party and in the morning he asked me where's the story I said
[00:10:16] but sir there was just no story there was just a party people came and they were just drinking
[00:10:23] and this was very early on like maybe three months in my career and then he's like
[00:10:29] to take this learning as a journalist wherever you go there's a story wow it's up to you
[00:10:36] to find that story and I think that learning has stayed with me always you know when I've been on
[00:10:46] trips for tourism it was never about the event alone it was also about what more can I find out
[00:10:58] and as an agency journalist at that time Mamta the learning we carried was that
[00:11:06] X show is being launched yeah yeah everybody will write about it exactly what bring what new are
[00:11:13] you bringing to the table through so the conditioning work conditioning has been such that
[00:11:19] you're always on a quest to find something new yeah and I think that is been a very
[00:11:25] integral part of my learning years yeah while you credited to your pedigree and training but I do feel
[00:11:31] at the level of the soul that whatever I I see as a reflection of you and your work
[00:11:37] you are a born storyteller I think so maybe yeah from metro diaries to curious case to now your
[00:11:47] your own podcast show so tell us a little about this whole journey of weaving stories and so many
[00:11:53] shades and you know such in such different lights yes metro diaries is something I mean I used to
[00:12:02] travel by the metro and had this as a journalist developed this habit to over here people and
[00:12:11] I think I found some hilarious hilarious I mean these are everyday things people may just dismiss
[00:12:18] you know
[00:12:24] but I was fine found some sort of humor in it and bringing those alive like there was this girl I
[00:12:31] remember there were two girls in conversation and then one of them is saying
[00:12:36] I think
[00:12:54] she wanted to see pomegranate and reproduce this story and I think it was just such
[00:13:02] everyday things trying to bring humor and a lot of people enjoyed it because they found it relatable
[00:13:10] the idea was okay let me do some more metro diaries and turn it into a book eventually
[00:13:16] it's something I really wanted to do I started calling it suffer nama yes suffer nama because
[00:13:22] it was su ffvr because of the suffering of traveling in metro but also bringing little
[00:13:29] bits of life from people again my what would you say affinity towards people people stories
[00:13:41] made me bring that out curious case was similar it was born out of when I sort of left my job
[00:13:52] yeah to pursue a freelance career that's when I started curious case and I think by that time
[00:13:59] I had built many years of my career and I had stories to tell about people based on conversations
[00:14:08] with people again not bringing everything about the career but about them yeah doing free flow
[00:14:17] writing where I wanted to write how I wanted to write like you call your show unbound right
[00:14:23] so curious case was my unbound space because girl was the first time I was not writing for an agency
[00:14:30] or for a newspaper yeah I was writing for myself so it really gave me a chance to unleash my own
[00:14:37] thoughts and unleash the way I wanted to write yeah I think it was very warmly appreciated
[00:14:43] yeah I'd continue keep doing it I would love to continue keep doing it but right now time
[00:14:50] doesn't permit me yeah so yeah that that is the story of curious case and as far as the podcast
[00:14:58] is concerned it's really been a leap of faith it's called health shots podcast I now I'm now
[00:15:06] the editor for health shots which is a women's health platform by Hindustan times and health
[00:15:15] shots in focus is really an extension of a newsletter that I do an editor's newsletter
[00:15:20] that I do for HD and that's also free flow space for me to write and I write on
[00:15:30] various topics that's you know stretch from financial stress to period leaves yeah to
[00:15:38] overcoming self-doubt tell me about the beginning like the start of this journalism Kira or bug
[00:15:46] didn't bite you did you go biting it was it a pursuit or very calculated mover it just happened
[00:15:53] so writing is something I developed a love towards my growing up years I would credit
[00:15:58] my nanny my maternal grandmother for it oh wow she was beautiful writer very well read and I think
[00:16:06] the turning point came when she gifted me a thesaurus when I was in class six or something
[00:16:12] I still have it signed by her and I think that's where I started really taking to writing and
[00:16:20] during my summer holidays she would like never let us be free in the daytime she would give us
[00:16:25] assignments to write so school assignments apart there were always nanny assignments that we used
[00:16:30] to get she would send me to the national museum go there go to the British library
[00:16:37] you know do all this so I think I owe a lot to her to build the build that Kira yeah
[00:16:44] yeah I planned that kid I was writing not reading so much but I started writing a lot that's
[00:16:52] interesting because it's usually said you know that if you want to write well you got to read
[00:16:58] more and and this is like so these are all your own thoughts and imagination you would write
[00:17:03] fiction what would you write like yeah I mean I would write fiction sometimes fact but not so
[00:17:09] much fact but yeah so journalism was a very well thought of or a very eventual move for you I always
[00:17:16] wanted to write right it's just that post school um I wanted to do English honors but I didn't get
[00:17:23] through anyway really yeah because the markups were really high and uh you know the journalism
[00:17:35] tests the exams were very hardcore news based exams and I couldn't get through but that's okay
[00:17:43] look at that and where you are oh my god so like such a paradox I also applied to the only premium
[00:17:51] colleges so that was a mistake but in any case um so anyway I ended up at a journalism school
[00:17:59] because I said I want to write I want to tell stories and I did my internship first internship at a PR
[00:18:07] firm actually I thought I can I'll be great at that and then I started writing press releases there
[00:18:14] and I would see journalists would reproduce that the same thing and would take bylines on it that
[00:18:20] so that was one fine day I decided I said if what I'm writing can make it to print yeah why
[00:18:28] don't why can't I become a journalist it's true I can also do what they're doing yeah and I think that
[00:18:34] really was the starting point and in my next year at college I signed up for an internship at INS
[00:18:43] oh you even interned at INS I even interned at INS uh quite and that's got turned into a job
[00:18:50] job so the craziest thing that you've ever done craziest is I think something like when people
[00:18:56] say that you know once you do something you overcome the fear I think the craziest is jumping off the
[00:19:02] Auckland bridge oh is what I've done uh like with the pacific below and while doing that I lost a shoe
[00:19:11] also in midair I think that was the funniest and like craziest thing I ever did in my life
[00:19:20] I could see my shoe floating away in the pacific and I don't think I've done anything crazier than that
[00:19:28] but it was on an impulse I wouldn't say it made me overcome my fear because I think I'm never going
[00:19:35] to bungee jump again it was a true thordair or something why I would know I would never bungee
[00:19:41] jump again I think after that yeah yeah so sports journalists and then now of course from entertainment
[00:19:49] to health what would you guys really talk on the dining table he likes his food uh I like it too but
[00:20:01] I like cooking sometimes not all the time but when I do it I want to do it perfect I'm that way
[00:20:08] I like to be prim and proper with my plating with my presentation interesting I can't do plain
[00:20:14] jean dal chawal so that is very so that's why I don't cook every day yeah but I have extremely
[00:20:23] supportive in-laws so one thing about being married to a journalist is one thing but having
[00:20:29] in-laws that support you at every point yeah is also extremely important who understand the
[00:20:37] demands of your career demand also understand what are what is priority for you yeah it's very
[00:20:44] important so I really enjoy staying with them yeah no so that's a very interesting point you've
[00:20:49] brought us to while it is extremely respectable space to you know actually have a generation
[00:20:58] to understand the lifestyle the expectation whatever of the next generation we are seldom
[00:21:05] able to really do it for our children unconditionally uh but I'm sure this is not all glory and not all
[00:21:15] the crown goes to the in-laws I'm sure there's some part of communicating setting the expectations
[00:21:22] setting the boundaries setting respectable uh you know boundaries or communication in place
[00:21:29] that part you must have also played how how have you played it I think it's a two-way street honestly
[00:21:35] Mamta you know when when you come into a new house of course you have your fears apprehensions about
[00:21:42] how you're going to fit in yeah you know every marriage is about that I think uh
[00:21:49] yeah these questions always stay with you but when from the other side in the new family
[00:21:59] they welcome you with a thought that this person we need to adjust with this person instead of this
[00:22:05] person adjusting with us yeah I think that really opens up the forum for mutual respect
[00:22:14] or you know for mutual um feelings of wanting to do things for each other yeah of coexisting
[00:22:24] but if I think you keep finding faults in others from the other side or from your side then that's
[00:22:30] where disputes happen but let me let me I mean I don't know if I may just but you are lucky
[00:22:38] I am yes I am I would honestly say that yeah I have been very lucky with this
[00:22:47] and I think uh yeah I would also give credit to my husband because he's balanced out things really
[00:22:53] well there are two parts to this story the way that we have seen and we've had so many women leaders
[00:22:59] and you know people from different walks of life have come and expressed their sentiment on on this
[00:23:04] as well that there is a very um unknown unconscious uh trauma generational trauma that people like
[00:23:17] to pass on they feel so burdened with what they have gone through that there comes a point maybe not
[00:23:26] for everybody of course it's a choice uh where you say that
[00:23:35] you know so again it is it is great um as a healer I'm also into some energy practices and
[00:23:44] and I feel this is all also a collection of the karmas that you have accumulated over lifetime so
[00:23:49] to be aware with what kind of people you know circumstantially how things will play out for
[00:23:54] you is also a collection and result of a lot of what you must have done right or wrong but it is also
[00:24:02] a lot about making those choices like what you said uh so it kind of reminded me of that
[00:24:08] Nandia the scene where the mother is saying
[00:24:10] that I won't let you be with you but in in this case maybe it's the mother in law who's saying
[00:24:16] that we have gone through we would not want to percolate it down but that requires immense
[00:24:24] maturity yes uh immense again it may not be I don't know if you can really call it
[00:24:32] uh uh broad mindedness but it is a large-heartedness yes you know at the end of the day if you
[00:24:39] realize that none of this is going to reap any benefits and only want to take off the new person
[00:24:46] in your house or in your son's life uh I think that the sooner you realize it the better it
[00:24:54] is yeah you know who needs unnecessary drama but a lot of people enjoy that yeah I think yeah because
[00:25:01] they kind of stuck in that record right and that's why homes are breaking yeah also yeah you know if
[00:25:06] there is a it has to be a give and take yeah give and take not in terms of materialistic things it
[00:25:13] has to be a give and take of emotions emotions yeah right so and that is about every relationship
[00:25:19] the sooner we realize that the better it is yeah yeah and this is what we call space right this is what
[00:25:25] we call uh respect or unconditionally to a relationship yeah I never felt suffocated but
[00:25:39] I have to hide the way I feel about anything whether it's you know laughing or crying or
[00:25:47] being angry I can be myself with my parents and my in-laws and I think that's a great feeling
[00:25:55] I remember the day I quit my job because I had reached a certain level of mental plateau
[00:26:05] is when I came back home and my father know I was like chelo bir colo
[00:26:10] you know how sweet so to have that bond of friendship yeah rather than saas bahu and sasur
[00:26:19] bahu and saga exactly has been extremely extremely a good experience it's very refreshing it's
[00:26:29] indeed very refreshing to bring in that kind of energy so is this uh this kind of trauma these
[00:26:39] kind of thoughts the lineage of thoughts okay have you do you think that this can also cause us women
[00:26:47] our own mental emotional health absolutely I think it's fair to say that you know
[00:26:55] whatever web of emotions that you're caught in in your head will impact the way you function
[00:27:01] will impact your actions will impact your reactions as well so I do think it really
[00:27:09] has an impact on your mental health and what an integration huh Radhika because see your
[00:27:14] personal life and journey is very different to what you end up mapping down for others
[00:27:22] and are you able to see that contrast that achha my life me in a year so
[00:27:27] you know good riddance that I do not otherwise I could have you know sometimes your mind does
[00:27:35] play those games with you but that has never desensitized me from knowing that it happens
[00:27:43] right uh I know it happens I can understand I can empathize with people who go through this
[00:27:50] yeah and that really gives me an insight into their journeys as a person who is adding a health
[00:27:58] platform where mental health is a very crucial part of what we do it's very essential to understand
[00:28:07] people yeah um like I always say when somebody asks me entertainment say health metum a guy
[00:28:16] so
[00:28:24] may jo health coverage of curry is not about viruses and
[00:28:32] but how to bring heart into health that is very important so
[00:28:36] so
[00:29:02] at unbound we believe in the power of unhinged minds and untamed ideas of people from
[00:29:09] all walks of life as we sit down to talk with some of them we are listening to your voice as well
[00:29:16] so share your thoughts ideas or takeaways from this podcast as a review on apple podcast
[00:29:32] right you tell me manta about about your journey uh you know how what has your
[00:29:39] trust been with mental health you are you are someone who's come a long way also from pr uh
[00:29:46] into doing your own podcast now so you've gone through so many transitions and your own life
[00:29:53] journey has been extremely interesting yeah so I think it's everything interspersed like how you
[00:29:58] said I mean it's great that you've had that support back home but in my case it was all about
[00:30:05] the challenge honestly so starting with pr in itself was a very big challenge a kind of a taboo
[00:30:11] that I had to fight because nobody understood you know in the in the the family of that
[00:30:17] mediocrity that we belong to everybody was coming from a very secured space
[00:30:27] and I was like listen I don't know what I'm really cut out for honestly I never it was
[00:30:31] never clear for me unlike in your case my talents were not shining through and it wasn't so
[00:30:37] such a writing on the board I was like an average above average child happy go lucky doing things
[00:30:43] the way that I wanted but my process is by elimination that's how I call it so I knew what
[00:30:49] I didn't want to do so I knew that I didn't want to you know just be set in a cast or I
[00:30:55] didn't want to become a government officer or a teacher or a bank employee so there were a lot
[00:31:02] of crosses that were in place and so one thing led to the other yes I had a creative been of mine
[00:31:09] I always loved being on debates and a lot of cussions and you know on the stage and also
[00:31:15] as much an athlete a runner a sprinter and things were getting exposed so to say that
[00:31:25] you could see
[00:31:28] then they came across road
[00:31:30] yeah I'm a little serious all life and I was like science to do not do arts
[00:31:36] meeting can be a comment but yeah
[00:31:39] so literally like one thing leading to another then beginning my trials to also into radio
[00:31:45] and writing that's where my formative grounds are that was only for the love of it you know
[00:31:50] like of the curiosity the curious case of it that I used to visit my mother's office during
[00:31:57] summer vacations and this is all India radio and this is her office and one fine afternoon
[00:32:03] I just walked in and said mama all India radio me dekta enakyao utha hai like this whole
[00:32:09] you know this seems very interesting kese how can we go behind the mic so I
[00:32:13] actually made my whatever little debut start there with writing then with voice overing
[00:32:19] then I went in for a proper radio jockey course and this is as you say it seems like another lifetime
[00:32:26] you know because my thing was that I'm enjoying that is the criteria that I'm enjoying and having
[00:32:31] fun and I'm like on a let loose and then came the serious part of it that
[00:32:41] was on the verge of then bagging in assignment with Ajta which was with no precedence at all
[00:32:48] you know because I was just doing these random things so they happened to see me on one of the
[00:32:53] shows like I was anchoring a sports news show and they called me and they said we are just
[00:32:58] launching anytime in next two three months and you can come on board and be a journalist
[00:33:05] and like a reporter and you could be on camera so but I've just registered for my PG
[00:33:12] so this is exactly the job that you're going to come back after two years and line up for
[00:33:18] so you might as well pick it up now
[00:33:24] that was the first time in life I was sure about what I was doing and then
[00:33:30] that journey completely took me into the world of PR and I never looked back at media
[00:33:36] but little did I know that this is where I'm going to end up and this is another another
[00:33:41] hike completely because of parenting added responsibilities challenges which are at the
[00:33:51] level of you know sometimes people not understanding you especially in the family setup so that has
[00:33:58] led me to now be you know taking it easy with whatever that I can manage and still not giving
[00:34:05] it all up you know so that's really the long and short all of it that's great right I also think
[00:34:12] having like a be ready for it all sort of thing rather than always trying to structure your
[00:34:18] life I think it leads to lesser disappointments yeah yeah and I think no matter what you
[00:34:25] sometimes you don't no matter what you do you cannot take the responsibility of others
[00:34:31] happiness in your hand you have to when it starts costing you your own happiness
[00:34:37] you really have to take cognizance of it and say that listen this is not what I'm meant to do
[00:34:42] because I did try I did try to fit in I did try to do things as how they are conventionally done
[00:34:51] one thing led to a failed marriage the second thing led to you know the crisis in that
[00:34:57] personal emotional space with people and I said this is not doing any good to me you know and and
[00:35:03] then getting into parenthood with that devastation in your mind then the trauma continues you know
[00:35:09] you will also make the same out of what you have in hand and that's when I understood that this is
[00:35:16] not my journey honestly and I need to step back and then I really need to focus on what I need to
[00:35:22] do and what is coming my way I mean instead of so I had a failed entrepreneurship venture
[00:35:27] I went through postpartum so all of that and then it's been a hard way
[00:35:33] but you know that's what's important don't see failure as failure as failure failure is a lesson
[00:35:40] and I think the moment you start approaching failure as lessons yeah rather than being
[00:35:47] consumed by own thoughts yeah I think life changes yeah and failure has given me strength
[00:35:54] failure has made me resilient failure has taught me that there are more ways you know then mostly at
[00:36:01] success or with things that you're good at or things when you keep doing the more of the same
[00:36:07] then then it's like a tried and tested formula yeah I already did this you know this is happening
[00:36:11] and then you become very mechanical failure when you don't get what you want is that what
[00:36:16] compels you to look into other directions and explore other sides of you which you
[00:36:21] actually didn't think that
[00:36:23] right but I also honestly feel that while it is self-interspection plays a huge role in overcoming
[00:36:31] any obstacle mental or physical in life I sincerely believe the people that surround you yes
[00:36:39] unless they are also feeding you with the right support empathy life becomes much harder
[00:36:47] I mean I can imagine if you fail at something and 10 people telling you you failed you failed yeah
[00:36:53] how could you do this instead of saying it's okay you know get up and go on
[00:36:58] it it shapes you up yeah so just contrary to that it's great if you have people like
[00:37:07] absolutely those around you in my case I had to create that structure so I had to seek support
[00:37:14] I had to go for counseling I had to tell my own ones that I need you to step out for now
[00:37:21] because your emotions are coming in the way of my growth yeah because your heartbreaks are not going
[00:37:29] take me to where I want to be in life because they are making me weak they are making me
[00:37:36] vulnerable so there was a point where where I distanced myself from my family I actually started
[00:37:42] living separately I was separated like I was in the earlier marriage and I separated myself
[00:37:48] from my family and then they thought that this was the time that they had to be around but
[00:37:53] whenever I would have them around the only resonances were that this was a wrong decision
[00:38:00] you shouldn't have done that I was like this is not what I want to really listen to
[00:38:07] right now you know so I had to I had to intervene for my own good and I had to take the reins in
[00:38:15] my hand and I wouldn't say that it happened just like that or just because one day I had some wisdom
[00:38:21] tooth coming in growing in this was with the support of other people who were in my life my
[00:38:26] friends who said that why don't you look in this direction who themselves probably also had
[00:38:32] a few challenges early on and then they said it's okay so yeah the only thing that I did to myself is
[00:38:39] I dropped the stigma I just said that this I can't live their interpretation of my life exactly so
[00:38:48] yeah our first battle is with our own self the moment we decide for ourselves half the battle
[00:38:56] and I think that approach is extremely important the other thing for girls going through
[00:39:02] bad marriages yeah I would say financial independence is again empowering yeah I think
[00:39:09] every woman should try and work towards that but easier said than done Radhika because in my case
[00:39:15] at least if I may take some inferences from there being with countries leading organization
[00:39:23] you know at the grass root level you are dealing with those people only it is the same HR who's
[00:39:28] coming in poking her nose and saying okay so why are you sitting here from here
[00:39:36] you know so the society will never leave you alone until you you don't need anybody's
[00:39:45] permission yeah you have to permit yourself but that's what you cannot control what others
[00:39:52] say to you you can control how you react to it yeah so it's a it's a long game I won't I won't say
[00:39:57] you learn yeah you learn you learn and you got to learn because that's that's the survival of the
[00:40:02] fittest yeah you know you let them or their thoughts rule you your life like just how you said
[00:40:09] that you have to again because this was in a professional alliance now I can't be
[00:40:15] argumentative I can't just put my foot and furiously walk over someone who's actually
[00:40:22] coming in confronting me about my failure and then I can't even take the burden of it all on me
[00:40:30] and say that oh maybe Shadi fail over excuse me I mean I was I'm not the only individual who's
[00:40:37] in that marriage they are people and their people you know there are two people and then
[00:40:42] there are families so it's a collective failure and burden please don't put it on me just because
[00:40:47] it was my decision because ultimately where things didn't follow through was the meeting of these
[00:40:54] these people and individuals that's the societal thing where we are very used to putting the blame
[00:40:59] yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and that's what I came to right
[00:41:07] that that was where I had to really stand up for myself and say
[00:41:21] the point really is that just because we're early I can't
[00:41:27] what I've made decide I was still not prepared for that but that when it happened
[00:41:32] as if there's no looking back now then it's just moving forward and that's that's what I did I mean
[00:41:39] it was all with the support of counsellors it was with a lot of intervention from people outside of
[00:41:46] my family who came in as just you know they kind of came as a cloak of that protection and of course
[00:41:51] I'm lucky and I'm blessed in that sense that I had the right guidance at the right time
[00:41:56] now that's a very important learning even from the mental health perspective that you have to be
[00:42:02] comfortable about seeking help it's okay you have to express yourself rather than let your
[00:42:08] problem boil within you yeah all the time yeah and what I credit my folks and my parents is to
[00:42:15] that of course I was financially independent and they let me be and when I told them that this is
[00:42:21] this is how I'm going to approach it they couldn't support it like whole heartedly saying
[00:42:32] you were standing by you we're not going to stop you so do what you best think of course it's your money
[00:42:42] jahan jo ja ke karna hai jo kar kya aapko thik lagta hai aapko try we will not stop you and
[00:42:53] you know because I have a younger sister then there is another sequence of thoughts and conversations
[00:43:00] that roll in you know get into play that a chahi a chahi badi bhi ti ka aise ho gaya choti ka whatever
[00:43:06] you know that's that's a very societal so my my parents are more so my mother she came in as that source
[00:43:20] and that was that was a big uh big reassurance for me that's it reassurance is always
[00:43:27] all we want out of life yeah every day yeah so that brings us to the almost the end of the show
[00:43:35] and I'm gonna make this quick make this fast but make this fun this is called my personal
[00:43:41] favorite segment too it's called a rapid reflex so it's actually a test of your reflexes
[00:43:50] which I just ask and like throw a volley of questions on you and whatever comes to
[00:43:55] your first top of the mind then you just go and shoot are you ready for this radhika sure that sounds
[00:44:02] like rapid fire with kejo kejo ah there's no hamper yeah all right are you ready for this sure fun to
[00:44:12] you is fun to me is being with family family to you is all heart journalism to you is passion
[00:44:21] stories are life one thing that people must have
[00:44:29] confidence just give us one metaphor for bharat in your life
[00:44:38] my calm in every storm oh so sweet um if not for stories then radhika will be
[00:44:48] uh many things yeah I'm not one thing all right I'm still not one thing okay your love for saris is
[00:45:02] uh peace of my mom oh all right relationships to you are invaluable all right one thing that you
[00:45:11] certainly do first thing is when you wake up in the morning go to the loo last thing which is a must
[00:45:20] do before you hit the bed see my phone all right your favorite food uh chinese favorite travel destination
[00:45:33] new ziden has been really good all right and if given a choice to really choose between purpose
[00:45:39] or impact impact all right you're a person who idolizes the you idolize the most my mom
[00:45:48] all right books to you are books to me no I'm not so much of a books person even though I'd love
[00:45:55] to write one interesting very interesting your uh recent see a new series that you're hooked on to
[00:46:02] I just finished the crown new season I am watching the same
[00:46:09] one thing you would like to tell your 19 year old self have more fun
[00:46:21] your biggest unlearning my biggest unlearning is about doing things one way there's always
[00:46:28] you can always find ways to do more things okay okay your biggest bias
[00:46:35] but I can maybe judge people very soon but but I don't let it affect my relationship all right
[00:46:42] all right and your favorite food you said chinese right yeah yeah I can I love a lot of food so
[00:46:51] chart yeah I can love anything from chart to Chinese chart to chinese that's that's a good
[00:46:57] one you can say that again well I love anything from chart to Chinese whoa
[00:47:07] well well with that you've truly come unbound on this show Radhika I have truly really enjoyed
[00:47:13] this episode as much as I thought I will and it's you know it's been a chronicling of
[00:47:20] furthermore uh knowings furthermore um what should I say deep diving and really feeling so much more
[00:47:30] towards you so thank you so much for really unleashing yourself here and sharing your
[00:47:37] sharing your joy your journey your purpose with us and may you always be the muse of your own
[00:47:44] stories and may you always touch the skies or even let not the sky be the limit for your writings yeah
[00:47:51] thank you so much Mamta for having me on unbound I think it's really nice that
[00:47:57] you're getting people to share their stories their journeys absolutely unfiltered and I think
[00:48:05] there's so much learning in all of this for you also yeah because that's one aspect of
[00:48:10] storytelling I love when you tell people stories you also learn so much about life yourself yeah
[00:48:21] thank you so much for listening to today's episode I would love to know from you what idea or insight
[00:48:27] you unboxed from today's conversation just drop me a message over LinkedIn or in my inbox and
[00:48:33] remember to follow this podcast so that when the next episode drops you can join me for yet
[00:48:40] another one too keep coming and keep unbounding till then this is your host Mamta signing off