Are You Speaking Their Language

00:00:06 Speaker 1: Welcome to the unconventional journey of modern parenting. This is the Meaningful Space, a podcast where we dive into the deep ends of racing, tweens and teens. You are not just any parent and this isn't just any other podcast. I am Suraj Kumar and together we are going to challenge norms, scatter the barrier, redefine success for our Children. You might be tuning in from blasing cities across the globe, 00:00:31 Speaker 1: from United States to Australia or from New York to New Delhi. Each of you juggling with the complexities of work life and ever evolving digital landscape as parents. You are the architect of the future shaping minds that are not just academically brilliant but emotionally intelligent and resilient and compassionate too. 00:00:52 Speaker 1: So, are you ready for the transformation the way you connect with your teens and tweens to forge stronger bonds in the digital era or to balance the scale of mental well being and academic pressure or say to help your teens have resilient mindset that can understand things better or faster than us who had struggled when we were stepping into this game called life. 00:01:16 Speaker 1: If your answer is yes to all these, then let's embark on this journey together. In every episode, we will tackle real issues with real solutions from navigating to digital dilemmas of building a family culture where every member thrives. So let's grab your headphone and let's unravel the beautiful and complex soul of parenting. One episode at a time. 00:01:43 Speaker 2: It's a beautiful day to start our journey on understanding and connection to guide you through the fascinating world of parenting tweens and things. 00:01:52 Speaker 2: Now tell me, have you ever felt like you are speaking a different language than your Children? You give advice, but it's like talking to a wall and their behavior. Sometimes it feels like you are solving a mystery. But what if the secret isn't in what we say but how we communicate. That's what we are exploring today. We are not talking just about words. We are diving deep into the heart and soul of communication. 00:02:20 Speaker 2: Let's picture our tween. They are in this tough spot where they are not kids and not adults yet. They are soiling in changes, 00:02:29 Speaker 2: body changes, heart changes, friends changes. And here is where great smart psychologists talk about social interest. 00:02:37 Speaker 2: It's like how we all want to fit in and be part of something bigger. That's what our tweens are doing, finding their tribe, their place in this bigger world. 00:02:49 Speaker 2: Think about it. Maybe your tween changed their look or started new hobby. It is not just a face, it's them searching for their identity, for their community. 00:03:00 Speaker 2: We all have been there. Right. Trying to fit in, trying to be understood. It's hard. They are dealing with so much online stuff. School pressure just figuring out who they are. But here is where hope shines. If we get to know what they're looking for, that is to be seen, heard and valued, 00:03:20 Speaker 2: we can start building that bridge, we can start making that connection. So the question is what do we do? And the answer is listen and I mean, really listen, not just to their words but to their silence. Their expressions, respect their growing independence, but be there with your wisdom and experience. Remember they are still learning and they are still growing. 00:03:45 Speaker 2: They need us. They need our support, our empathy and yes, sometimes our boundaries as well. 00:03:52 Speaker 1: But most of 00:03:53 Speaker 2: all, they need our understanding and respect for their journey to adulthood. Now let's shift the gears. We move into our next topic that is the power struggle sounds familiar. It's about 00:04:06 Speaker 2: conflicts into collaboration, 00:04:08 Speaker 1: building a world of mutual 00:04:10 Speaker 2: respect and understanding. Let's feature this. Your tween wants more freedom, but you are worried. Voices get raised tension bells and you both are on the opposite sides. But Adler, our voice friend says, seek conflict as opportunities, 00:04:27 Speaker 2: opportunities to understand each other better to work together. Think about this. When did a conflict last ended in understanding and not in frustration. What if instead of asserting your authority, you can invite co-operation. What if you both had a say in finding a solution, 00:04:46 Speaker 2: it's not easy. I know, but it's not about giving up your role as a parent. It's about mutual respect, understanding that your tween is growing into their own person with thoughts and feelings. So next time, try this, sit down together, share viewpoints, let them express their thoughts and feelings. Then you share yours, 00:05:05 Speaker 2: not as an order but as a part of conversation, find a solution that respects both of your hearts. This approach builds respect and 00:05:14 Speaker 1: trust. It shows your tween that 00:05:16 Speaker 2: there was matters that you value their and that's a big step towards a strong, healthy relationship. And now we will touch upon something deep listening between the lines. It's about empathetic listening which can break down barriers and build stronger relationships. 00:05:33 Speaker 2: Imagine your tween comes home upset, they brush off your questions, respond in short bursts and you want to fix it. But what if they need something else from us? What if they just need us to be there? Listen to them without any judgment. How often do you listen to respond not to understand 00:05:53 Speaker 2: in our busy lives? Taking time to truly understand or truly listen is rare, but it is just quite understanding that real connection happens. Adler talks about social interest, really caring about each other. When we 00:06:07 Speaker 1: listen empathetically, 00:06:08 Speaker 2: we are not just hearing words, we are feeling 00:06:11 Speaker 2: emotions, understanding struggles and validating their experiences. Next time they want to talk to you. Try this no distraction, make eye contact, give full attention, let them read, use a phrase like I see. Tell me more to encourage them. Listen without jumping on to the solutions. 00:06:30 Speaker 2: Empathetic listening isn't just 00:06:32 Speaker 1: about agreeing 00:06:33 Speaker 2: with everything they say. It's about giving them a safe space to express themselves. It's about showing them they are valued and understood. And through this, we build stronger relationships. 00:06:45 Speaker 2: This leads to our next crucial topic, challenging the norms and why traditional advice might not work with your unique tween. Let's explore this. Shall we advice that worked for our parents or for us might not click for our tweens. The world has changed and so have their challenges too rich rules, standard expectations. Often miss the mark. 00:07:09 Speaker 2: Now tell me, have you ever feel like the more you push your traditional methods, the more they are pulling away. It's not about rebellion. It's about relevance. They need guidance that understand their world and their challenges. Adler 00:07:25 Speaker 1: urges to 00:07:25 Speaker 2: treat each individual uniquely. It's about moving beyond the so called because I said so into 00:07:32 Speaker 2: respecting and 00:07:33 Speaker 1: valuing your tweens individuality. 00:07:35 Speaker 2: So let's start with open dialogues first, acknowledge their feelings, respect their opinion, replace our authoritarian degree with a collaborative discussion. This approach, foster mutual respect and understanding. It shows our tween that we see them as an individual and that their voice matters. 00:07:55 Speaker 2: Now we come to building a community within that means how do we create a family environment where everyone feels connected, valued and are integral part, picture your family as a small society, a place where a 00:08:11 Speaker 2: voice matters 00:08:12 Speaker 1: where open dialogue is a foundational, 00:08:14 Speaker 2: create a space where each family member, young or old 00:08:18 Speaker 1: feels respected and plays 00:08:20 Speaker 2: an important role. How often do we involve our Children in our family discussions? Do we create chances for them to contribute to share their thoughts in this moment? We can build a strong and cohesive family, don't you think? So? 00:08:36 Speaker 2: Adler's social interest is about belonging, feeling significant. When we foster this at home, we are not just building families, we are preparing them to be compassionate member of society. We are giving them enough chances to be independent and take decisions and learn from them. Start with a regular family meeting, share 00:08:56 Speaker 1: your highs and lows discuss 00:08:58 Speaker 2: issues, brainstorm solutions, give each 00:09:01 Speaker 1: person a 00:09:02 Speaker 2: turn to speak and really listen to what they have to say. 00:09:06 Speaker 2: And this approach strengthens bond instills responsibility and empathy. It teaches our Children the value of different perspective and the importance of working together, which I believe is very much important in this world. In our office space, personal or professional life. Now we tackle our last and most important point of vision. The talk. How do we discuss sensitive 00:09:32 Speaker 2: topics like sexuality, mental health, life choices in a way that 00:09:36 Speaker 1: respect our teens 00:09:37 Speaker 2: growing autonomy. Talking about topics like sexuality and mental health is tough but it is essential. How do we approach this conversation? Respecting our teens autonomy, ever hesitated to start a conversation fearing it might go wrong. But avoiding these topics creates gap in understanding and support. So how do we break this barrier? 00:09:58 Speaker 2: Idler stresses empathy and understanding in usual context. Create a safe space for open sharing without fear of judgment. 00:10:07 Speaker 2: Express your openness and willingness to listen, use inclusive languages show general interest in their perspective. It is about dialogues and not lectures. These conversations build trust, provide guidance and support growth. They are the opportunities to strengthen your bond to show them that you are there for them. As we wrap up, let's reflect on our journey. 00:10:32 Speaker 2: We have navigated complex topics aiming to foster understanding, empathy and respect within our families. 00:10:41 Speaker 2: So as we wrap up, thank you for joining this enlightened journey. Parenting is about shaping our children's future, healing our past and nurturing our present. It's about creating a legacy of emotional health and resilience. 00:10:57 Speaker 2: Join me in the upcoming podcast as we continue to explore parenting with empathy and lots and lots of insight. If you resonate with my topic and what I am doing here, please share this journey as we strive to raise a generation that can change the world. One, heal heart at a time. Thank you for joining me today. Let's keep creating positive changes through parenting 00:11:21 Speaker 2: your voice matters. So join our community survey with the link given below or if you're interested to know more about such topics and more, what's yet to come join our Facebook group, given the link and follow all our social media handles. Thank you. Bye bye. See you tomorrow again.