The Can Do Coffee Chat with Debbie Bryan: International TEDx Speaker, Multi-Award Winning Coach, and Best-Selling Author.

[00:00:01] Hi dear Bruce Studios

[00:00:08] Hi, I'm Gail Gibson, accredited Master Performance Coach, International Speaker, Podcast Host and Author

[00:00:16] Known as The Can Do Coach, I thrive on enabling leaders to step up, shake it off and shine

[00:00:24] Welcome to my podcast, The Can Do Way

[00:00:27] My guests from across the globe have can-do stories of growth, resilience and success to share

[00:00:34] Tune in and be inspired by these individuals who have developed a strong can-do approach

[00:00:41] Each one of their stories is unique, each one of their stories has a key message

[00:00:49] In this episode of The Can Do Way I'm talking to Debbie Bryan, International TedExpeaker multi award-winning coach

[00:00:57] and best-selling author. Now Debbie is a globally recognised speaker and coach whose transformative journey

[00:01:05] is reshaping lives through resilience and inspiration

[00:01:09] Overcoming life altering injuries from a tragic car accident a dozen years ago, Debbie emerged as a symbol of hope and determination

[00:01:18] Now as a dynamic motivational TedExpeaker she's committed to empowering audiences worldwide

[00:01:25] to unlock their potential and achieve success through the power of storytelling and authenticity

[00:01:32] Welcome to the show today Debbie

[00:01:35] Thank you very much, that was a long bio isn't it? I'm giving you a lot of work to do there, sorry about that

[00:01:40] Not at all, not at all. If we can take the listeners first on a short walk through your life Debbie

[00:01:48] just to give them a glimpse of your background and what it is that drives your passion for the work that you deliver today

[00:01:55] Okay so I come from a really entrepreneurial background in the days when they weren't called entrepreneurs

[00:02:03] So my dad sold everything he came from a normal job and made a business out of nothing

[00:02:11] Really selling cars or selling our furniture, our clothes

[00:02:17] It was very normal for me to come home from school and someone would be taking the sofa out the door

[00:02:21] And someone else just saw an allegop one, get it through the window because it doesn't quite fit

[00:02:25] But that's the one that's there or you know, selling 12 TVs in an afternoon or something like that

[00:02:29] So it's hugely entrepreneurial even to the I can remember being very young and my dad's business partner asking us

[00:02:36] Like when we answered the phone maybe like five and we had to answer the phone professionally because you know you sold from the newspaper then

[00:02:43] And he would go that's not right and put it down so we were trained very early on into this entrepreneurial lifestyle of everything

[00:02:49] He's a little bit no boundaries and no rules realistically

[00:02:53] And so from there I was hairdressing at 14 and moved to London at 17

[00:03:00] So I wanted to be a superstar hairdresser and then you know life goes on until about 13 years ago

[00:03:06] I'd managed to get myself into a hair salon in a gym, was loved with my life and had a tragic car accident that kind of stopped everything

[00:03:13] So having the attitude that I already had and thinking that I was the luckiest person in the world which will come to in a minute

[00:03:23] But I thought I was the luckiest person in the world. I just I tackled it head on I think

[00:03:27] Interesting choice of words there you tackled it head on as well given that you're a star

[00:03:34] It was actually with our accident, who was a head on that

[00:03:37] And then the accident yes, yes that's right that's right

[00:03:39] So Debbie coming from that kind of background and you use those words no boundaries and no rules

[00:03:47] You said that your dad was a very entrepreneurial person

[00:03:51] Would you say that he was one of your first champions in your life then?

[00:03:55] I think so yeah, I mean if I'm honest my dad is 78 years old he's 79 next month

[00:04:01] And he still goes to the gym every day. He's had a Saturday job up until last year

[00:04:05] You know he's done massively well successfully and came from being an engineer hated it

[00:04:12] Went in the Navy loved it traveling the world and then came back and my mum had me and my sister

[00:04:18] So had to kind of knuckle down to a real job and he just saw that he just wasn't satisfied with just a normal run-in-the-mill job

[00:04:26] I think he was selling suits at the time in

[00:04:29] Burtons as could we've to wear and and then just started selling cars selling and taking part exchange

[00:04:34] And one day we'd have a garage full of baby stuff because the person didn't have enough money by the car

[00:04:39] So they part exchange with his house clearance here. So I think that kind of

[00:04:44] That was my normal, you know, I didn't realize because my uncles were car dealers too

[00:04:49] Or you know somebody else had some other business and stuff the the circle that my dad had was

[00:04:54] Was like now you'd call him entrepreneurs a search and so he built, you know big car sales national dealerships

[00:05:01] And great stuff, but and still had a Saturday job, you know just selling cars on the Saturday just for some cash

[00:05:07] So him to go to the pub

[00:05:09] So I guess that's where

[00:05:11] I know he's a very odd character. It's very hard to get on with now

[00:05:14] But you know, he's he's probably always been hard to get on with but in terms of his drive

[00:05:18] If you know, he's still running a business in 78

[00:05:21] So how do you feel that he first started championing you when you were on your entrepreneurial journey?

[00:05:29] He didn't to honest. I never felt like I lived up to I never felt that I had the big business

[00:05:35] I always felt like I had to get what he got. He never told me that I was doing anything bad

[00:05:40] He was always very praiseworthy, but I had this thing inside me that I hadn't made it until I got what he had

[00:05:46] So even when I had a salon in a five-star gym and that changed after the accident actually

[00:05:51] But up until then I never felt like I was felt like there was another layer that I needed to get

[00:05:55] The big house and the big business and and all that stuff and the irony is that we had a conversation at one point

[00:06:01] And he was we were talking about retail and he said to me, God, I wonder if I stayed in retail if I'd have had a better life

[00:06:07] As opposed to having a car and I'll stand if I if I'm I was stunned and he's just like, you know the hassle of having

[00:06:15] Mechanics not turned up on a Monday morning with you if you've ever had a business with a lot of stuff

[00:06:19] Then the whole hassles and logistics of that you'd like maybe I've been better life, but he you know he wouldn't have had the life he has now so

[00:06:27] Interesting. He wasn't so much. Yeah, he wasn't so much a champion. He was cheers

[00:06:32] I had a book come out yesterday and it went onto the bestseller list in two different categories as a co-author book

[00:06:39] And I told him about it. He doesn't really understand why do you really understand the modern world?

[00:06:44] So he's like book I can get that magazine out of four page friend of magazine last year got that the awards you can see the awards

[00:06:51] That he understands Ted talk did not understand at all till he watched

[00:06:57] The different generation and yet usually different generation

[00:07:01] Yes, yeah, I can remember when emails came out and he was waiting for an email and he said to me

[00:07:06] Well, how do you know when it's calm? I was like, oh, how do you explain an email to somebody?

[00:07:10] He's actually just come once a day and I was like, oh, I'll just tell you what is that stuff as big because he's just not interested in that

[00:07:17] He's very you know person-to-person type thing. So but been very successful

[00:07:22] Interesting interesting

[00:07:24] So you said that you had created this

[00:07:27] Hair stylist life for yourself and you wanted to get really good

[00:07:31] So you obviously someone who's got a lot of drive in you given your experience and given your the role modeling shame to use you are growing up

[00:07:39] And then just get us to the point where that was all going well for you and

[00:07:45] Intervention struck in life of the car accident. Tell us

[00:07:49] 13 years ago I was a gym. I actually managed to get a room in David Lloyd and where I was they were tiny but obviously because the

[00:07:58] Buildings are so big you don't need a lot of space. I just split up my business partner. She'd come out of the business and I just relaunched on my own

[00:08:06] Took on all the debts and everything and then went by a car. The car break down on the way home

[00:08:11] I thought it was like a petrol so I jumped out of the car to

[00:08:15] Undo the petrol car. Who knows if I knew how to do that? It was a new car

[00:08:19] So probably didn't and my husband pulled up behind me

[00:08:23] And because we traveled together and a car just smashed into the back of his car

[00:08:28] As I was looking at it on the dual carriageway and I was like, oh, okay

[00:08:33] And for a second it looked okay. It just shunted his car forward

[00:08:36] But then the other car and be known to me had ripped one of the wheels off and so on three wheels carried on coming towards where I was

[00:08:42] And I was stood on a dual carriageway. So I'm like, well this way is a very busy dual carriageway

[00:08:48] And this way is where I think the cars go in so I literally had nowhere to go

[00:08:52] And I thought I'm gonna die and this is gonna hurt

[00:08:57] For about I don't know how many seconds it feels like forever and then I just thought no

[00:09:01] I'm not going. I'm not going. My kids need me. My boys need me

[00:09:05] They think they're old enough and they're not and I had this whole conversation

[00:09:09] I could tell you word for word in my head if we have more time

[00:09:12] And I took two steps, two random steps and those two steps saved my life

[00:09:16] Because the car hit full on my car exactly where I was stood

[00:09:20] So then after that as it went past me and actually afflicts my car straight across the road into the central reservation

[00:09:27] But as it did it hit my leg and I was still stood up

[00:09:30] But I felt like I stood on ice and I thought okay, but as bad as I thought

[00:09:34] What next because I can remember seeing the underside of the car hit my shoulder

[00:09:38] Very gently hit my shoulder but kind of sent me off balance off sales already off balance

[00:09:42] And I landed on all fours and as I did I realized I could feel

[00:09:46] Like the smashed up bits of car on the road and realize that actually I was in a dual carriageway at that point

[00:09:53] And I remember thinking and like I'll quote it bugger

[00:09:56] Now I'm going to have to save my life again and I had to crawl to the side of the road to get out of the road

[00:10:00] Because I didn't know that somebody had managed to stop the traffic that a van driver had seen what was happening

[00:10:06] And slowed the traffic and he came into the hospital the next day and said those two steps saved your life

[00:10:11] But I just thought I'd bruised. I didn't think that you know there was no

[00:10:14] Nothing I just I knew I couldn't stand up. I thought it was bruised

[00:10:17] I got to the hospital and my kids were already there

[00:10:23] And I remember saying pretty bruised and Jake said to my eldest saying no, it was definitely broken

[00:10:28] And I was like okay you said you decide what you're doing

[00:10:31] But my main concern if I'm honest is that they cut your clothes off when you go into hospital

[00:10:36] And you have a leg injury so they cut your trousers off and they cut your underwear

[00:10:39] And that my boys are stood at the bottom of the bed and I was elevated with the legs

[00:10:43] So I was more worried about that. I was coming down from the side than anything else

[00:10:47] And they continued to do that for two weeks. That's a whole other story

[00:10:51] But like it doesn't matter what you wear. They just cut it off because you have a cage

[00:10:55] So they basically said to me okay it is broken

[00:10:59] I went back on some scans and I was a bit so obviously I had some painkillers by then

[00:11:03] We'll operate tomorrow. Do I go up to the ward?

[00:11:06] Give me a really rubbery piece of toast and then go that's it for tomorrow

[00:11:10] And then the surgeon came to see me in the morning and said look it's too swollen

[00:11:14] We cannot pray. You're not going to be able to use that leg

[00:11:17] You're going to lose the use of the leg and I was like what?

[00:11:20] No, I'm my hairdresser in a gym. I need my leg

[00:11:25] That can't happen and to my surprise the doctor just went

[00:11:30] He just walked off and he was like okay and went

[00:11:33] So then he come back in the afternoon after an hour we go

[00:11:35] He's gonna try and peddle that past me again now and say

[00:11:39] So he came back and said right we've had another look and said what we can do is we can do something

[00:11:43] But you're not going to be able to stand up and you may be not going to have a lot of bend on the leg

[00:11:47] And I was like so will I be able to do my job?

[00:11:50] I'm a hairdresser in a gym. I've got three children and he said not really

[00:11:54] And I said okay that's not the right answer

[00:11:56] I was like that's you know that can't happen something has to happen

[00:12:00] And I have no idea like I didn't know you could negotiate

[00:12:03] I didn't know that there was a choice but I some thinking me was like

[00:12:07] No no no this is not the right answer and I generally don't believe that no means no means you're asking the wrong person

[00:12:12] So a little bit of me was like you're not the person that I need to talk to

[00:12:15] So the fourth time they come and I genuinely can't remember the third and they said right

[00:12:19] And they were so excited he like skipped in and kind of skipped up to my bed and I thought okay

[00:12:25] He said we're gonna take some bone out of your hip, gonna build a little saucer

[00:12:29] Put the other bones back in that are smashed up and then we're gonna do some other stuff

[00:12:33] I'm gonna dig really deep into the hip and get the good but and I was like

[00:12:36] I'm not a boiled egg do that that sounds like less detail

[00:12:40] So that's what they agreed and so two days later I wake up and I have got a cage on my leg

[00:12:46] And I've got two 10 inch scars on my leg 22 screws and two plates

[00:12:52] So my understanding of a broken leg at that stage was that you broke your leg

[00:12:56] You got a plaster on it and after six weeks you went back to your life

[00:12:59] So I was not quite prepared for that not quite preferred but I thought you know now they've done this

[00:13:05] They've told me that I'm gonna be able to bring my leg and I'm gonna be able to work again

[00:13:09] So my manager came in and I said to her tell my clients I were back in four weeks

[00:13:13] And she went four weeks and I said all right make it six I was six months not standing

[00:13:19] I never stood on that leg for six months completely deluded but I thought I'd lose all my stuff

[00:13:24] I thought I'd lose my business. I thought if I can't do this, how do I how do I manage?

[00:13:29] I was quite scared more of that but yes

[00:13:33] How did you get through that? I'll be back in six weeks that turned into six months

[00:13:39] What did you have to do to get through that time?

[00:13:42] My recovery was fairly brutal very very brutal

[00:13:45] But so the two things I suppose that happened in the hospital was

[00:13:49] If you remember I said I thought I was gonna die

[00:13:52] So I was in a good mindset because I was lucky

[00:13:55] I was the luckiest person in the hospital because I should have been in the morgue

[00:13:58] And I wasn't in the morgue so anything else was a bonus

[00:14:01] Just being alive was a bonus I was actually euphoric

[00:14:05] I think they thought I was crazy and I think there was times over the next year where I was still euphoric

[00:14:09] My children wanted to euphonise me because I was so annoying like oh it's Monday I shouldn't be here

[00:14:14] I think they were like alright enough now you're young

[00:14:17] So I just had this belief that if I just did what they told me

[00:14:21] And I don't normally stick to the rules but in this case I was like

[00:14:24] They know what they're doing, they got me a great physio

[00:14:27] If I just do what they tell me to do physio wise then I'll get back to where I was

[00:14:31] I just believed that there was an end game and that I could get my life back

[00:14:35] I just had to go through this process I just had to work hard

[00:14:39] If they said to me, if my physio was amazing

[00:14:43] If she said to me bend your leg all weekend then I would do it

[00:14:47] And if I had to cry to do it she's like well you know that's just how it is type thing

[00:14:51] And so I would bend my leg so much so because it gets in and I wouldn't have to bend

[00:14:55] I remember going to the hospital and they said watch your bend and I bent

[00:14:58] And they were like great and they said straighten their leg

[00:15:01] And you could literally put your fist behind the back of my knee

[00:15:04] And he said what happened now? I said no one talked me straight in there

[00:15:07] I was so rigid on the rules, no one said straighten my leg so I didn't straighten it

[00:15:11] I spent all my time bending the leg as such then he's like okay well you've got another job to do

[00:15:15] So then I had to straighten it so otherwise I'd have had this hooky thing

[00:15:19] But I had such focus on this how it is but obviously at the same time

[00:15:23] I'm trying to run a business I'm trying to look after my children

[00:15:27] My husband has a completely different mindset

[00:15:30] He didn't think that I was the luckiest person in the world

[00:15:33] And he was you know I don't tell his story because that's his story to tell

[00:15:37] But let's just say he wasn't as chirpy as I was

[00:15:39] I wasn't a great patient either

[00:15:41] I was very chucked up

[00:15:44] So if someone didn't come and get something for me when I wanted it

[00:15:48] And that would obviously be you know they'd have to read my mind

[00:15:51] It wasn't that they didn't do what I asked them to do

[00:15:53] It was that they should have known that I needed the potatoes or that I needed this

[00:15:56] I would chuck it from one work to the next

[00:15:59] And then sit there on my stool in the kitchen

[00:16:01] But the leg was very painful, it had to be elevated a lot

[00:16:04] And so eventually what I did and this is the silver lining I suppose

[00:16:08] Eventually I did is one of my friends actually

[00:16:12] Angel Beth went into and I'll say that

[00:16:15] Beth was because people would know her because we're local

[00:16:18] She came into the hospital and said

[00:16:20] I'll come in and I'll look after your salon

[00:16:22] I thought not on your life I might let another hairdresser go in there

[00:16:25] And then she came back the next day

[00:16:27] And she's a force of nature if you know her you know her

[00:16:30] And she was like honestly I've got to move

[00:16:32] So she was waiting for her own salon to open

[00:16:34] And she was like I'll move from my kitchen into your salon

[00:16:38] And she looked after my staff and just supported them

[00:16:41] So eventually what I started to do was going in on one of the days that she worked

[00:16:44] And answering the phone and just putting my leg under the desk

[00:16:47] And that was a biggest learning curve because we're all told

[00:16:50] To work in not in the business but on the business

[00:16:54] And I had the ego at that time of like

[00:16:56] I'll lose my business if I don't cut their hair

[00:16:58] I'm the most important person

[00:17:00] And the revelation was that actually we made more money

[00:17:04] With me not working and then we did

[00:17:06] So it makes me sound like a really terrible hairdresser doesn't it

[00:17:08] But with me answering the phone

[00:17:10] With me answering the phone we made more money than we did

[00:17:13] We didn't lose any money, we didn't lose any clients

[00:17:15] We made more money that year

[00:17:17] Because

[00:17:19] And I would love any business owner to kind of take this on board

[00:17:22] Because I was told it a million times

[00:17:24] And it was all like we can't afford a receptionist

[00:17:26] We're just a tiny salon

[00:17:28] And what happened was I was sat on the desk

[00:17:31] And somebody would phone up and say

[00:17:33] Can you fit me in for a cut and blow drive

[00:17:35] It was about 40 quid then

[00:17:37] And I would be like oh yeah, yeah Jane I can fit you in

[00:17:39] But aren't you due for your colour

[00:17:41] And they say yeah I know you're never going to be able to fit me in for that

[00:17:44] And I would be like okay let me just have a look

[00:17:46] Yeah, yeah I can fit you in, oh you're a godsend

[00:17:48] Just made that call a 120 pound call

[00:17:50] Because before that

[00:17:52] I would have called a phone, 17 year old apprentice

[00:17:54] Didn't care

[00:17:56] Or one of my stylists was like

[00:17:58] Yeah yeah yeah do this

[00:18:00] They had blow drives on his hair

[00:18:02] Stopped and yeah great bye

[00:18:04] Gone off the phone

[00:18:06] So there was no upsell, there was no customer services

[00:18:08] And that was a big lesson to learn

[00:18:10] Obviously you can not break your leg to learn that lesson

[00:18:12] But learn it fast

[00:18:14] But you were saying to your strength weren't you

[00:18:16] You had that upselling technique

[00:18:18] You had that determination in you as well

[00:18:20] To say I want to still be part of this

[00:18:22] And this is an interim thing

[00:18:24] That I'm doing at the moment

[00:18:26] Before I can get back into my salon

[00:18:28] So you had to find a percent

[00:18:30] Into what you were doing for your friend

[00:18:32] And I had to find a life, I didn't fit back into my life

[00:18:34] You know I was in the gym

[00:18:36] You know that everybody that I knew

[00:18:38] Was exercising

[00:18:40] Or running a class

[00:18:42] Or hiding from a class in my salon

[00:18:44] And all of a sudden

[00:18:46] I'm non weight bearing

[00:18:48] And I've been working on the ground for six months

[00:18:50] And so I just

[00:18:52] Didn't fit into my life, I came in

[00:18:54] And they do lunches or in the beginning

[00:18:56] When I used to come in they just blow drive my hair

[00:18:58] And send me back home again in a taxi

[00:19:00] Because they didn't know what to do with me

[00:19:02] Or I try and help someone with the gown

[00:19:04] And balance and they'd be like oh

[00:19:06] Because it was so dangerous for me to stand on the leg

[00:19:08] Because that shell that they'd made

[00:19:10] Needed to heal back together

[00:19:12] You know I couldn't even go upstairs

[00:19:14] I had to go in my bum for six months

[00:19:16] So I just went backwards

[00:19:18] So it's trying to fit back into my life

[00:19:20] In some way

[00:19:22] If you've ever worked in hospitality

[00:19:24] In a gym it's very

[00:19:26] It's very community

[00:19:28] I mean these guys talk squat weights on the night out

[00:19:30] That's how

[00:19:32] That's how it was

[00:19:34] You know if you can't do the stuff

[00:19:36] You don't fit into the life

[00:19:38] And so

[00:19:40] Yeah I just

[00:19:42] You just had to adjust to find some way of doing it

[00:19:44] Definitely definitely

[00:19:46] So fast forward to now

[00:19:48] In the work that you're doing

[00:19:50] You said you've done your TEDx talk

[00:19:52] And you are a coach

[00:19:54] And you're helping people

[00:19:56] To live their best lives

[00:19:58] Now so

[00:20:00] How do you maintain that resilience

[00:20:02] In yourself you know

[00:20:04] If things are still

[00:20:06] Business is a very changeable

[00:20:08] Experience for all of us

[00:20:10] We win things

[00:20:12] We have to dig deep

[00:20:14] We have to forge forward with what we're doing

[00:20:16] Where do you go to

[00:20:18] To get that resilience

[00:20:20] Well I've obviously pivoted

[00:20:22] Quite a lot away from the head dressing

[00:20:24] Mainly because

[00:20:26] So I did all the work that they told me to do

[00:20:28] And then a year later I got told I'm going to be in a wheelchair at 55

[00:20:30] And so I ignored

[00:20:32] That for two years and then my body was like

[00:20:34] You need to stop ignoring this

[00:20:36] Because my back started to go and stuff like that

[00:20:38] So then I was like okay what do I do

[00:20:40] And all the time that I've been there

[00:20:42] I've been looking for other things that we could add to the business

[00:20:44] So ended up in a bigger business

[00:20:46] Another business ended up with a

[00:20:48] 7000 square foot spa with 10 treatment rooms

[00:20:50] Photo studio

[00:20:52] I went crazy you know I literally went crazy

[00:20:54] But eventually that got too much physically

[00:20:56] I had to have another operation

[00:20:58] And a series of operations

[00:21:00] So I sold that and

[00:21:02] Retired

[00:21:04] And then I only had six weeks of recovery

[00:21:06] And I was like oh I've got this whole year off

[00:21:08] And so then I was going to have to pivot

[00:21:10] I had to go what else can I do that isn't so physical

[00:21:12] So

[00:21:14] And I'd been coaching in the call centre 25 years ago

[00:21:16] So that was always there

[00:21:18] Of helping other people

[00:21:20] And I think you just do what you have to do

[00:21:22] For me

[00:21:24] There was never an option to just not do anything

[00:21:26] And I always

[00:21:28] Felt like I'd just done what any other person would do

[00:21:30] They tell me I'm going to be in a wheelchair

[00:21:32] And I'm like nope that's not going to happen

[00:21:34] Now I'm going to have to fight this fight

[00:21:36] And now people say to me

[00:21:38] Actually some people would just get ready for the wheelchair

[00:21:40] And I'm like that blows my mind

[00:21:42] It's not how my head works unfortunately

[00:21:44] Or fortunately really

[00:21:46] Because and sometimes it is uphill

[00:21:48] You know it's tough

[00:21:50] Business is tough we've had the lockdown

[00:21:52] I was marketing digital marketing doing events

[00:21:54] You know many of those retreats hotels

[00:21:56] Beauty spas boom all shut come to the lockdown

[00:21:58] What do you do

[00:22:00] I've worked with some massive coaches

[00:22:02] In the UK being on tour

[00:22:04] Teaching digital media and stuff like that

[00:22:06] So when that happened when the lockdown happened

[00:22:08] They got locked out of their Facebook account

[00:22:10] So I set up a call centre

[00:22:12] Within two weeks had a dialer

[00:22:14] 12 people dialing out and dialing the database

[00:22:16] I hated it

[00:22:18] But I did it because I hated the fact that

[00:22:20] I had to work nine till six

[00:22:22] I realised I wasn't cut out for that structure

[00:22:24] So I think it's just kind of going

[00:22:26] Okay how do we pivot

[00:22:28] How do we get this to

[00:22:30] Work better how do we improve

[00:22:32] How do we get more

[00:22:34] Give more value and help more people

[00:22:36] And how do we move through the times

[00:22:38] How do we now teach people how to use AI

[00:22:40] Because AI is here to stay

[00:22:42] And you need to use it and it's a fantastic tool

[00:22:44] And over the last year I suppose

[00:22:46] I just

[00:22:48] I've worked with a lot of coaches

[00:22:50] And I was always felt a little bit like

[00:22:52] I was the politician's wife

[00:22:54] And I was in the background supporting people

[00:22:56] But I wasn't the front anymore

[00:22:58] And I think a lot of me was hidden

[00:23:00] In a way because of the accident

[00:23:02] Because of not being so mobile

[00:23:04] Because of feeling like I

[00:23:06] Like my physical self wasn't there

[00:23:08] I missed that side of me but that was gone

[00:23:10] It was that opportunity to be

[00:23:12] Back in the gym and stuff

[00:23:14] So I dug in but I really supported people

[00:23:16] And was a best kept secret

[00:23:18] So I had a lot of skill

[00:23:20] And I was very much the best kept secret

[00:23:22] In my industry

[00:23:24] And so I decided to change it

[00:23:26] I decided to do visibility

[00:23:28] And everybody said you're going to do that

[00:23:30] And they didn't mean it but I did it

[00:23:32] I was on 50 podcasts last year

[00:23:34] I had a full page spread in the magazine

[00:23:36] I was nominated for four awards

[00:23:38] One, two of them, behind me

[00:23:40] So I think I just kept going

[00:23:42] And going how can I get more visible

[00:23:44] How can I help more people

[00:23:46] To understand that if you don't speak out

[00:23:48] You're not going to get the

[00:23:50] The wins that you want

[00:23:52] Whether that's in your life or in your business

[00:23:54] Or in your relationship

[00:23:56] If you be the best kept secret in the room

[00:23:58] Everyone else is going to take what a prize is

[00:24:00] So I decided to change that

[00:24:02] And become a speaker

[00:24:04] I like the approach

[00:24:06] I was going to speak about at the beginning

[00:24:08] Yeah, no, I love that journey

[00:24:10] And I think that will give the listeners so much

[00:24:12] To think about if that is

[00:24:14] The way that they feel

[00:24:16] That they are that best kept secret too

[00:24:18] What can they do to pivot

[00:24:20] And turn their lives around

[00:24:22] What can they find in themselves

[00:24:24] That is a strength that you turned into

[00:24:26] Something

[00:24:28] Into gold dust and you

[00:24:30] Are now living that

[00:24:32] But I love the fact that you used

[00:24:34] At so many different intervals in your

[00:24:36] Experience was the word pivot

[00:24:38] And the whole process of pivoting

[00:24:40] What does that look like

[00:24:42] What can I do more of

[00:24:44] How can I be more to the people who

[00:24:46] Need what I've got that I can share with them

[00:24:48] So it's a really great

[00:24:50] A really great mindset hack that you share

[00:24:52] So Debbie

[00:24:54] What would you like to share

[00:24:56] As your three can do tips for

[00:24:58] The listeners today

[00:25:00] Okay, so I would say

[00:25:02] One of the tips is

[00:25:04] And this is my benchmark tip

[00:25:06] Is that

[00:25:08] We get offered so many opportunities

[00:25:10] As entrepreneurs we are thrown

[00:25:12] And we can't do all of them

[00:25:14] And to be able to test out if I could do

[00:25:16] Something so for example

[00:25:18] The hair salon was I can't walk away from it

[00:25:20] Mario

[00:25:22] But I'm very much like if I can walk away from

[00:25:24] Something it's not for me

[00:25:26] So when you get offered something

[00:25:28] If you're looking at and you can walk away

[00:25:30] You're not walking away and thinking about it

[00:25:32] It's not for you, you're trying to talk yourself into that

[00:25:34] Because if it's for you

[00:25:36] And it's aligned with you

[00:25:38] And your heart and your values

[00:25:40] You will stick out and you'll do whatever it takes to get that

[00:25:42] In the hair salon I just couldn't say now

[00:25:44] I had a brilliant job and I just wanted it

[00:25:46] So I did it

[00:25:48] And this is my mantra and this does come from my parents

[00:25:50] But it's too long a story for today

[00:25:52] No doesn't mean no, it means you're talking to the wrong person

[00:25:54] That's not what you mean no for me

[00:25:56] For the doctor it's only now

[00:25:58] That I look back and think

[00:26:00] What if I said yes the first time

[00:26:02] What if then they said you're not going to be able to use your leg

[00:26:04] I said okay, you're the doctor you know what you're talking about

[00:26:06] I had a lost 13 years of mobility

[00:26:08] And that's quite scary

[00:26:10] So I think no doesn't mean no

[00:26:12] It means I'm talking to the wrong person

[00:26:14] Or it means fight another way

[00:26:16] Again if it's aligned for you

[00:26:18] And if you believe there's a yes go and get it

[00:26:20] And then my third one is

[00:26:22] Imperfect action

[00:26:24] I love this, imperfect action

[00:26:26] Don't wait for perfection

[00:26:28] Just take as good an action

[00:26:30] As you possibly can

[00:26:32] And sometimes I have to still teach myself this one

[00:26:34] Because you know we're all going

[00:26:36] Okay well when this is ready

[00:26:38] And I get the graphics ready and I get the wording ready

[00:26:40] And then next we know the opportunity has passed

[00:26:42] You buy because you will wait for perfection

[00:26:44] So in perfect action

[00:26:46] You know I couldn't get up the stairs

[00:26:48] Because so I went up on my bum

[00:26:50] Six months right

[00:26:52] I probably wasn't the best speaker

[00:26:54] When I flew to New York to speak at Columbia last year

[00:26:56] By when and they filmed me

[00:26:58] And I had a show reel so

[00:27:00] When Ted came along I had the footage

[00:27:02] To be able to put on my application

[00:27:04] I you know there's a million things that I'm not perfect at

[00:27:06] But I'm going to do it anyway

[00:27:08] So that's my three

[00:27:10] You found a way and that's brilliant

[00:27:12] It's fantastic all three of those

[00:27:14] Particularly the last one

[00:27:16] And I think as you say we are all guilty

[00:27:18] Of that we overthink

[00:27:20] And then we don't do

[00:27:22] And then it's that act

[00:27:24] Of what's the first small thing

[00:27:26] That I can do

[00:27:28] That can start that process happening

[00:27:30] And it's something that I use

[00:27:32] As a tool in my coaching with my clients

[00:27:34] As well what's the first thing you can do

[00:27:36] Because all the rest of the time

[00:27:38] Don't worry about it because it will

[00:27:40] Happen but you need to start

[00:27:42] You need to do one thing

[00:27:44] To kickstart and that imperfect action

[00:27:46] Is the way to think about it

[00:27:48] I think it's you know

[00:27:50] As entrepreneurs we want to

[00:27:52] Eat the elephant in one go

[00:27:54] So how do you eat an elephant

[00:27:56] You can't eat an elephant in one bite

[00:27:58] So it's one bite at a time

[00:28:00] That's where I did my bike ride

[00:28:02] One session at a time

[00:28:04] Anything that I do I go okay this is the elephant

[00:28:06] What do we chuck let's chunk it down

[00:28:08] And bring it into manageable

[00:28:10] Do today that's going to mean

[00:28:12] That we eat an elephant

[00:28:14] So the final question

[00:28:16] For you then is how would you

[00:28:18] Describe the opportunity

[00:28:20] Of a can do mindset

[00:28:22] Okay so

[00:28:24] I believe in a big life

[00:28:26] And I believe

[00:28:28] That everybody should be entitled

[00:28:30] To their version of a big life

[00:28:32] My big life isn't munchens

[00:28:34] So if it's travel and adventure

[00:28:36] And amazing people

[00:28:38] Whilst talking and earning good money

[00:28:40] And I think

[00:28:42] Just I wouldn't

[00:28:44] My thing with the can do

[00:28:46] Is that if you want the big life

[00:28:48] You'll have the big life

[00:28:50] You'll never settle for less

[00:28:52] And I don't want to settle for less

[00:28:54] I don't want anybody else to

[00:28:56] So can do means don't have to

[00:28:58] The little life get the big one

[00:29:00] Beautiful beautiful love that

[00:29:02] What a great way to end

[00:29:04] So thank you so much

[00:29:06] For being my guest today

[00:29:08] On the show

[00:29:10] And I think you've given the listeners

[00:29:12] A really great taste

[00:29:14] Of what they can do

[00:29:16] You've shared about no boundaries

[00:29:18] No rules in your upbringing

[00:29:20] And the fact that pivoting

[00:29:22] Has been your go to for resilience

[00:29:24] But also those really handy

[00:29:26] Three tips about walking away

[00:29:28] And that no doesn't mean

[00:29:30] No an imperfect action

[00:29:32] So thank you so much for being my guest today

[00:29:34] On the can do way

[00:29:36] Thank you for listening to my podcast

[00:29:38] The Can Do Way

[00:29:40] Do you live and breathe a can do

[00:29:42] Attitude?

[00:29:44] Since 2019

[00:29:46] My podcast has gifted

[00:29:48] Listeners across the globe

[00:29:50] Access to an incredible selection

[00:29:52] Of guests with stories to

[00:29:54] Refresh your perspective

[00:29:56] Bring you joy and inspire

[00:29:58] Can do positivity

[00:30:00] And with an insatiable appetite

[00:30:02] For a good yarn

[00:30:04] I invite you to be a guest

[00:30:06] On my weekly show

[00:30:08] If you have an inspiring perspective

[00:30:10] A life changing experience

[00:30:12] Or an intriguing story to share

[00:30:14] Then drop me an email

[00:30:16] At gailmgibson.com

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