The Can Do Coffee Chat with Ale Garnica, A Consultant and Certified Life Coach.

[00:00:00] Are you ready to hit the road and drive towards a rewarding career? Well, look no further. Pepsi is looking for CDL drivers to join our team. Pepsi offers competitive wages and great benefits for full-time employees. Visit DriveTheNumberForPepsi.com. That's DriveForPepsi.com

[00:00:17] To learn more about the exciting opportunities awaiting you and to apply today. Take the wheel of your future with Pepsi. Drive The Number For Pepsi.com. That's DriveForPepsi.com. PepsiCo is an equal opportunity employer. Ideapro Studios. Hi, I'm Gail Gibson, accredited Master Performance Coach, International Speaker,

[00:00:43] Podcast Host and Author. Known as The Can Do Coach, I thrive on enabling leaders to step up, shake it off and shine. Welcome to my podcast, The Can Do Way. My guests from across the globe have Can Do stories of growth, resilience and success to share.

[00:01:04] Tune in and be inspired by these individuals who have developed a strong Can Do approach. Each one of their stories is unique. Each one of their stories has a key message. So, in this episode of The Can Do Way, I'm delighted to be talking to

[00:01:24] consultant and certified life coach, Ali Garnika. Now, Ali cares about women having a peaceful and enjoyable lifestyle, while juggling around their roles and responsibilities in their day-to-day routine. From her previous career as an engineer in a male predominant industry, Ali brings unique perspectives to professional women

[00:01:48] who want to create a more purposeful and satisfying life by teaching them how to own their power, make decisions with confidence and put their needs first to pursue the dreams they've been putting aside for years. Ali is a avid learner.

[00:02:06] She has spent 20 years studying the art of self-discovery and has put all of this knowledge together, along with her own life experience, to teach and guide people to live better and be happier. What a wonderful introduction and I'm sure there's lots that we can unpack today

[00:02:25] as we explore. So welcome to the show today, Ali. Thank you, Gail. Thank you very much for having me. It's a pleasure being here. Wonderful. So if we can first just take a short walk through your life,

[00:02:39] if you could give the listeners just a glimpse of your background and what it is that drives your passion for the work that you deliver today? Well, it's really a long story and I'll try to summarize it, but

[00:02:54] as you said in my bio, I started to my journey as an industrial engineer. That's something that really I can't. I would like to say that I intentionally decided, but really I didn't. It was more a decision that I made because of what I was told

[00:03:16] was good for me. But I did enjoy that journey, but while being in that journey of looking for what I really was passionate about and creating a professional life that I enjoyed, I was living in London actually when this happened. I was, I know, with stomach cancer.

[00:03:44] And during this diagnosis and the recovery process, I started to wonder if I was really doing what I wanted to do professionally and personally because you start like following the advice from other people and you get to do what they tell you to do.

[00:04:03] And then all of a sudden life tells you, hey, stop. What are you doing? And it comes in many forms. Like those type of messages coming, many forms for me was these

[00:04:13] diagnosis. And when I was recovering, I started to question, am I really living the life that I want? And of course, I was fully dedicated to recover physically and the emotional part was left aside. I didn't have the tools that I have right now back then.

[00:04:31] But after I recovered physically, I started to see how wounded I was inside and not only because of the illness but also because of things that I have experienced in the past. Like many of us,

[00:04:46] we go through challenges since like we are children and then we probably don't take the time to really address and understand how that happened and heal. So all that happened after this recovery

[00:05:03] and that's when I decided to do something about it and start to learn more about myself, reconnect with what I really wanted and also find a way to heal the wound that I was

[00:05:17] in that moment was so open because of the illness. I was feeling very recent full and also probably like kind of angry about what I went through. But that was just the tip of the

[00:05:36] iceberg of so many things that I have lived in the past. So once I dig deep into that, I went to therapy, I started meditating, I started taking courses, I started to do a lot of things.

[00:05:50] And I cannot point that one single thing that helped me, I think everything together helped me. But that's what led me to see how much I ignored about myself and when I got to

[00:06:02] reconnect with my true self is when I said this is something that everybody should know. These are tools that everybody should have in their life. This is something we should teach in school and that's when I started to be more curious about how I could bring these tools

[00:06:23] to other people. So I started to implement them in my job, the one that I had back then, I was working on IT and I was a project manager. So managing a team has a lot to do

[00:06:38] with the human part. So I tried to use them there, but also on the side, I decided to certify as a life coach and start to help people as well. So at some point, I said, I really enjoy this piece

[00:06:54] of my work. And that's where I decided to be like give it my all to the life coaching part. So I quit my corporate job last year and I've been doing coaching full time for the past,

[00:07:13] so it's going to be two years really. And I'm really loving it. I enjoy every piece of it, not only because it gives me satisfaction to do my job but also the satisfaction that I feel when

[00:07:29] I see people transforming their lives when I am walking by their side. Beautiful, beautiful. I'm always fascinated when I ask my guests that opening question about giving us a glimpse because you paint a picture for my audience and your story like many of my other guests comes from

[00:07:53] a place of somewhere going through something and then arriving at where we are today, which is what happens in our lives all of the time. But you've done quite a... It's been quite a real

[00:08:07] shuffle like you said. You've gone from an engineering background, you went through your health issues and that impact in your life, that change moment that where you pivoted and you built a new life for yourself. So when you think about that journey that you've been on, Ali,

[00:08:30] when you look back who would you say was your first champion? I would say my mom definitely. I was always very close to my mom and we... Many people say,

[00:08:45] oh no, you cannot be best friends with your mom but I think you can. I think I'm one of the lucky people who are very, very close to their mom and have a really amazing relationship. But she,

[00:08:58] with who she is because she lived in a very small town, she left when she was 16 to live in Mexico City and she was on her own and it was very different. I'm very different lifestyle

[00:09:12] but she always had these cravings for more and that's what I grew up seeing. She was fully dedicated to us because my dad was the breadwinner but even when she was fully dedicated to us,

[00:09:30] she was always looking for something else to do. She is a businesswoman and when my parents divorced is when she truly brought her light to share with the world because that's when she fully embraced who she was and that's what she was teaching us in our everyday life.

[00:09:55] Try to look for more and she's actually the one that encouraged us to learn English from a very early age which is something that wasn't very common in Mexico back then but for some reason

[00:10:10] I don't know where she got it from but she was very insisting on us learning English and that opened so many doors to the three of us. That's why I'm where I am and I also built the career

[00:10:21] that I built and she's very resilient, very open and very flexible so all that and also very caring and giving towards other people so all that is what has been part of my values

[00:10:37] and what I live by and also this feeling hungry for more and growing it's also something that has said the desire that I have to just really fully enjoy life doing what I love.

[00:10:57] Beautiful as well you know I love the fact that you shared that there's so much love that you're sharing in terms of talking about your mum but the way that you shared that she

[00:11:11] brought her light so she like you hit that point in her life where she had to turn left or right after your parents divorced and that was an enabler for her to step up and go this is the

[00:11:25] light I want to shine and so it really resonates with me how you were working through your career you had your health and then you now this was when you were able to bring your light as

[00:11:38] well because you were able to spend some time reflecting and deeply introspecting on your own life and thinking is this for me is this all I am who do I want to be so you know when you were

[00:11:53] facing when you were on that journey and you use the word before before you could bring your light you use that word wounded which is a very powerful and very emotional kind of word

[00:12:06] in your curve of change that you were going through so what what so what were some of the first steps you had to take to really face that change head on and to unravel any sticking points

[00:12:21] that you were going through thinking do I want to stay with the life I have or what's it going to take to get me to where I want to go well I think that one of the things I

[00:12:36] learned to do and I think is actually one of the the things I use in my day-to-day life is to be more understanding and compassionate towards myself mm-hmm in in that moment when I was going through that phase it was very hard and I was

[00:12:57] I also had those the choice to just give up or keep going and I knew that it was all on me if I was gonna overcome the recovery phase which was really the hardest in from recovering from cancer

[00:13:14] I had to do it on my own even I had the support from my family of course they were very present but nobody was going to do it for me there were times when I just didn't feel like getting up

[00:13:26] or like getting out of bed and getting up and go do my walks I had to walk like 10 steps 15 steps that it started increasing one day at a time and I didn't feel like it but

[00:13:40] that's that was the moment where I was like okay I could stay here but I also could like push myself to get up and walk and which one is going to get me closer to where I want to be so

[00:13:55] that was those were like moments where I had to push myself but also be understanding with towards myself like it's okay that you feel like you don't want to do it it's okay because it's

[00:14:09] tiring it's hard but also think about the future think about who you want to be in 10 days no like if you want to be walking or eating more and that is what really helped me

[00:14:26] make sure that I didn't give up and yeah to push myself really but in a loving way being compassionate towards myself by saying it's okay Ale you are human it hurts it's not easy

[00:14:46] and you just really seeing that in a way every step was going to make me stronger not only physically but also mentally I think that really that journey required a lot of both physical and

[00:15:00] mental work and it strengthened me in many ways but I definitely know that the mental part became stronger like my mind became stronger because I was even when I was in pain physically I was

[00:15:19] doing it I was you have to do it yeah do you feel that that came from you know you had your mum as your as a huge part of your inspirational journey but also when you think about your career

[00:15:36] as an engineer and being a leader how do you feel that those qualities in you were points you could tap back into to have that resilience to be able to move forward through

[00:15:51] your illness and the process of healing well I I think that I've always been someone who I sometimes I think it could be bad but sometimes I think it could be good but I'm

[00:16:05] I'm very sometimes I'm hard with myself and I really push myself hard to do things but I think for this recovery piece it was something good like Ale you have to do it

[00:16:17] because it was really a life of death or death situation no and either you survive or you just live this world and so I think that comes from from the school I went to I it also comes from my

[00:16:34] mom and my dad my dad also is someone who is always like trying to do better and better and I also think that is what helped me climb the corporate ladder like to really look for aim for

[00:16:50] more aim for more and the reason why I said that it could be good or bad is because sometimes you can push yourself very very hard and you forget about having fun about really enjoying

[00:17:05] the journey and that is something that I teach my clients because it's something that I've learned through experience that yeah you can push yourself hard to achieve certain things but what about the journey towards achieving that certain thing and in this case we're going back to the illness

[00:17:26] of course I wanted to get better I wanted to be able to walk and just have a normal life so I had to push myself through those times when I just didn't feel like doing it and in that case

[00:17:40] it was good but there are other times when you really have to slow down and evaluate is these really some is is this something that I am enjoying not only thinking about what you

[00:17:54] want to achieve but also what am I achieving with every step I'm doing am I really having fun am I really growing am I feeling more satisfied more fulfilled I think that's also a very important

[00:18:09] thing and if you are not then you really have to probably not push yourself your much give yourself the chance to stop and rest and evaluate where you want to go next definitely definitely because

[00:18:24] our lives are not a formula are they they're not it's not you're not born and told that you will follow this path and it will go from A to B along the way there's diversions there's new ways we can try out things if we look at

[00:18:43] the world that way and I think that's the message I'm hearing from you Ali as you were going through not only your life journey but this process of change in your life as well and the challenges that that presented to you was thinking

[00:18:57] what else what else is there what what if I stay where I am I'm just going to get stuck and I'll end up doing the same thing over and over and I'm not going to get any better but if I can fully

[00:19:08] embrace and think what do I need right now and what does that look like and what's the small step I can take in that first that first small step I can take or then things can be a little

[00:19:22] bit different but you're looking at the view ahead of you before we before we came on we were talking about the our shared joy of the the seasons when you said you were reflecting on your time living

[00:19:36] in the UK and I was talking about the beautiful fall that we're experiencing at the moment those are things that bring you joy those are the things that you see as part of that journey but

[00:19:48] it's not head down just walk that road it's wow what's going on around me so I think it's lovely to hear from you that it's about looking outwards and looking at everything that's in front of you to paint that picture well for those who are listening so

[00:20:05] that's right yeah just like finding the small things that bring joy and pleasure into your life because normally we call them small things but they are really big they're probably small tiny

[00:20:18] but they have a tremendous impact on your quality of life they do they do they pack a punch don't they because they bring that they bring so much joy and happiness to our lives but also to the

[00:20:31] lives of other people and I'm sure you see it in your clients as well when when somebody tries something out and it really induces that deep feeling of emotion and you see a smile on them

[00:20:44] that you've never seen before and you're just like yep they've got it it's it's worked for them it's wonderful to witness that isn't it yes it's beautiful beautiful so when you when you think about those champions in your life you've mentioned your mum you've mentioned your dad you

[00:21:01] had your family around you you had your support circle what would you say you value most about them as those champions in your life those people that have listened to you they've supported you

[00:21:14] they've guided you they've mentored you what's that ultimate power that that has done for you on your journey definitely their own life experience is something that inspires me and

[00:21:31] motivates me to keep going and their own perspective I think that we can all learn a lot from each other if we are open to it and I try for many years I was very dependent on other people's opinion

[00:21:51] which is different from what I do now and what I actually teach my clients like we start trusting your inner wisdom and I it was hard for me to make a decision without getting the validation from

[00:22:03] other people but now I see it from the other side like I make my decision and I still want to hear other people's point of view to see there's something I am missing and many times even when

[00:22:20] I stick with my own choice there are things that I get to learn like gather from other people's wisdom that I could keep with myself probably not for that particular decision but in the future

[00:22:34] because every person has a lot of I believe that every person has wisdom that can be very very useful and their whole life experience is full of wisdom so that's something I really care about

[00:22:51] and I really treasure from the people that are close to me and that are like my biggest support friends family and yeah everybody really beautiful and always a powerful thing to add to your toolbox

[00:23:08] is other people's perspectives and as you said you never know when you might use them they can they can paint a picture for somebody else in a story that you want to relay or just to refresh and challenge your own perspective because that's what that's what learning is

[00:23:24] all about isn't it because we don't have all the answers all of the time but other people can can feed that curiosity in us as well so wonderful to have that very open mindset to you know going through this journey and becoming the resilient person that you are

[00:23:44] continuing to become throughout your life what would you say is your go-to mindset hack that you that you know works for you time and time again to get you back so if you're faced with a

[00:23:57] challenge and you feel yourself slipping again what's that go-to practice that really helps you get back on track with where you want to be getting to I think well I said it earlier but I'm going

[00:24:12] to say it again because it's really something I it was a game changer for me which is self compassion I remember that I learned about it from Kristen Neff I don't know if you've

[00:24:23] read her book but it's called self compassion actually she's done a lot of research about it and when I read this book I was like whoa how how does that work but I started practicing it

[00:24:37] and I have a very loud inner critic a very loud voice that is constantly telling me why should I be doing what I'm doing or how am I am not enough so self compassion was really what helped

[00:24:51] me lower down that voice because it's still there is something that I just learned to embrace in a way that I know is going to be there but I can also make sure that I take control take the

[00:25:05] control back no not allow that voice to take all the control but take it back and me be the one who decides what what to do and what not to do and self compassion was a big piece for me to

[00:25:20] be able to do this and really it's just giving myself on the understanding that what I am going through is totally normal and because many times these voice is the one that is telling you oh like

[00:25:38] you are not enough and compared to other people and it starts this comparison as well with other people and just like being able to say it's normal it's totally okay there's nothing wrong with you

[00:25:50] nothing has to change just that piece helps me be like create a stronger foundation to make the changes I want to do within myself and also outside like in the circumstances if I can

[00:26:08] and another thing that I know has helped me is self recognition and I know this is a lot towards myself because of course we've been taught to look for these externally

[00:26:22] but it all has to come from within you if you don't give it to yourself what other people say is not going to matter much because I received a lot of recognition from other people but I

[00:26:34] wasn't able to see till I was able to recognize myself so and the last one I think fun is also something that I try to add into my work every day like find a way to make it more fun like if

[00:26:48] I'm not enjoying it right now okay how can I make it more fun and maybe it's just a tiny change let's go watch the birds for five minutes in between calls and that makes adds more joy

[00:27:01] and fun into my life like as we were saying earlier just small things that can make a huge difference in my day make it more enjoyable and more fun and if I feel like dancing I go dance if I

[00:27:14] feel like singing I do sing even when I'm doing it in the front of the mirror or whatever you know so just make sure that I enjoy every step if possible because many times it's not easy to

[00:27:28] enjoy every step but enjoy the steps that I take towards whatever I'm doing fantastic fantastic so would you say those are your three can do tips for the audience as well of being self-compassionate learning to have that self-recognition and fun or do you have other

[00:27:49] can do tips that you would like to share with the audience today I would say those are the three definitely yeah because it's really something I try to do every day almost every

[00:28:06] day or whenever I'm like feeling down I know I need to use one of those three tools and make the change but I think I want to add something else I think creating community

[00:28:22] or like a group of people that really give you the support is super important and that's something I get to see with my clients many times when they come to me they are not in a very good

[00:28:34] place and it's because they have forgotten to feed that social part which is so so important and it has been a big big pillar in my life everywhere I've lived I try to create a group

[00:28:50] of people small or big and that makes a huge difference in your personal life and in your professional life because at the end definitely networking is something that can help you grow tremendously personally and professionally come of green with you more it's such a powerful

[00:29:11] connector and you never know where those conversations are going to go and who you're going to meet and how you can help them or they may be able to help you or introduce you

[00:29:24] to the person that you need to be talking to as well so thank you so much for your four tips that's wonderful you got an extra one in there too for for the listeners today so my final

[00:29:35] question for you Ali is how would you describe the opportunity of a can-do mindset? Oh well the way I see it is that many times the the opportunity of a kind of can-do mindset comes

[00:29:52] like with the face of a challenge like it looks like a challenge is it looks scary sometimes but what you what we don't get to see is how much we are going to grow when we overcome

[00:30:07] those challenges and if we really embrace if we start to see how much we have done in the past and we get to recognize who we are and what like all the strengths we have we will be able to

[00:30:26] overcome whatever challenge we are facing and thinking about because what I'm thinking right now is that many times when we are going through a challenge it's hard for us to see the positive side

[00:30:40] like oh yeah I mean I'm feeling really sick I'm I can barely get out of bed how is this positive in the moment is hard but once you've overcome it you get to see how much you got from that

[00:30:57] experience and in terms of your own growth but also the people you met and I think that's something I've been reflecting on recently with all the challenges that are going in the world

[00:31:10] with war and all the natural disasters that even when it is very painful there is something that happens that would have not happened if it wasn't for that like people that meet people that

[00:31:27] just get together to help or just feeling like your life has a purpose because you know you can help someone who is in need in that moment so I think it's important to even when it is tough

[00:31:45] just nurture that hope knowing that you are going to come out stronger and also you are going to have a treasure of people experiences and things that you would have not had if you would have not faced

[00:32:02] that challenge. Yeah thank you for that that's a wonderful summary of all of what you've talked about today that true value of community and really that the hope that can spring from being kind to

[00:32:19] yourself and treating yourself and saying you know I can do this I have got this it's going to be tough for a while but I can find ways through it I can get the support I need and then I can create the

[00:32:32] life that I want to be living so that I can then help other people and that's the message I've I get from you completely in sharing your story so thank you so much for being my guest today on

[00:32:45] The Can Do Way. Thank you Gail it was a pleasure being here. Thank you for listening to my podcast The Can Do Way. Do you live and breathe the can do attitude? Since 2019 my podcast has gifted

[00:33:01] listeners across the globe access to an incredible selection of guests with stories to refresh your perspective bring you joy and inspire can do positivity always curious and with an insatiable

[00:33:16] appetite for a good yarn I invite you to be a guest on my weekly show if you have an inspiring perspective a life-changing experience or an intriguing story to share then drop me an email

[00:33:30] at gailmgibson.com until next week show do share the inspiration of The Can Do Way podcast with your friends colleagues and clients and wherever you are listening from in the world remember to make every day an amazing can do day