Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm

[00:00:07] Hello everyone, this is Seema from Saamya Essential Oils and through this podcast, Saamya Shots we hope to bring to you unique stories, some personal, some that you may have read or even heard of before. But through each of these stories we will try and tell you how magical

[00:00:24] essential oils can be. You can listen to us on Apple Podcasts, GeoServants, Spotify, Binge Pods and all major audio platforms. They say people with high self esteem have strong personal boundaries and practicing personal boundaries is one way of building self esteem.

[00:00:45] But to do that you really have to know who you really are. And you may not know that when you're a teenager, you may not even know who you are when you're in your 20s or 30s or

[00:00:54] even later. But once you do, that's when you learn to be true to yourself. Let me tell you honestly I still feel guilty sometimes when I have to set a boundary but I get over

[00:01:06] it really quickly now. I realize it's less stressful to say no than to sign up for something that will not make me feel good later. So many times we may say yes when we actually

[00:01:19] want to say no. We're nice when we don't really want to be, we volunteer to help when we don't really feel like it. And unless we are genuinely unwell or have broken

[00:01:30] arm or leg, we go ahead and say yes. And does it really need to come to that? I learned that I had to set my boundaries when I was in college and I'm still learning though but

[00:01:41] I'll tell you what happened. We were all assigned a group project and each of us was supposed to work on a particular aspect of the project. A friend of mine who'd been with me through my school years was also part of this project but was not involved

[00:01:56] at all. Nor was she interested and kept whining and wasting her time on everything else but the project on hand. She kept making excuses to not work on the project. And finally when

[00:02:08] we all had to put it together, she was not able to finish her part on time and then requested me to help her. Now I was involved in extracurricular activities in college but I somehow reluctantly agreed to sit with her through the night and worked on

[00:02:24] the project for her. What had actually happened was that I had not set my boundaries and as a result I was irritated, I felt I had been taken advantage of and I was extremely tired the next day. It made me stop and actually ask myself what

[00:02:42] would have happened if I had just said no? Would she have stopped being my friend? I realized that day that giving myself permission to say no was actually okay. Even today I still learn. I still learn there are times when I can say

[00:02:58] no. I may feel guilty but the truth is I have understood the importance of my well-being. Someone once told me don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. If you are negatively impacting your well-being for the sake of others

[00:03:14] you're just hurting yourself in the long run. If something does not align with your values of honesty or perseverance or integrity, understand that your boundaries are being pushed and when you draw healthy boundaries you're able to focus your time and attention on yourself, your family, your friends

[00:03:36] and all the things that actually make you feel alive. I read a beautiful quote it said love yourself enough to set boundaries your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how to use it and you teach people how to treat you

[00:03:54] by deciding what you will and won't accept. Now to help you set healthy boundaries we recommend a gentle blend of lime, tangerine and cedarwood. You can add a few drops of that to your diffuser, to your char gels, to your

[00:04:09] baths. You can write to us at SamyaFragrances at gmail.com. Talk to your friends about us, follow us on our Instagram page Samya's essential oils. Until the next SamyaShark love and light everyone, stay calm, breathe easy, laugh small and love with all of your heart.