Dealing with external pressures is a common challenge for many couples. These pressures can stem from societal expectations, family dynamics, and influences from peer groups, all of which can significantly impact the marital relationship.
[00:00:00] Hello Everyone, This is Jeena from Jeena Isi Ka Naam Hai. Today's topic is Understanding
[00:00:18] External Pressures. This podcast is part of the course I have prepared for those who
[00:00:24] want to understand marriage and want to build a successful relationship. This course is
[00:00:29] available on mindgrabs.com. Today we are going to talk about a topic that affects
[00:00:35] all couples at some point, external pressures. These are the forces outside your relationship
[00:00:42] like the opinions of society, family and friends that can impact how you and your partner see
[00:00:49] each other and your relationship. Understanding these pressures is the first step in managing
[00:00:55] them effectively. So I have divided this topic into four parts. Let's dive into each of these
[00:01:03] parts to understand our topic better. So part one is identifying external pressures. The first one
[00:01:10] is societal pressures. Society often has a lot to say about what a marriage should look like.
[00:01:17] There are expectations about roles, behaviors, successes, parenting and even personal choices
[00:01:24] like where to live and what jobs to take. It's important to ask ourselves which of these
[00:01:30] societal norms do we actually agree with, which ones are causing us stress. Secondly,
[00:01:38] family influences. Family can play a big role in shaping our expectations of marriage.
[00:01:44] From parents to in-laws, each family member might have their own views and expectations.
[00:01:51] Reflect on this. How much are our families influencing our choices and feelings about our
[00:01:58] relationship? Are these influences positive or do they create conflict? Thirdly, peer influences.
[00:02:08] Friends and peers influence us too. They can set benchmarks for things like lifestyle,
[00:02:15] how to handle conflicts or when to have children. Consider how much you compare your
[00:02:21] relationship to those of your peers. Is this comparison helpful or does it put unnecessary
[00:02:27] pressure on both of you? Next is part two, communicating about pressures. Now that we have
[00:02:34] identified these pressures, let's talk about dealing with them. The key is open communication.
[00:02:40] Sit down together and discuss each type of pressure. Use I feel statements to express
[00:02:47] how these pressures affect you personally. For example, you might say I feel overwhelmed when
[00:02:54] my parents expect us to visit every weekend. It makes me feel like we can't plan our own
[00:03:00] weekends. This kind of honesty helps your partner understand your perspective and support
[00:03:06] you in asserting your boundaries. Part three, setting boundaries. Once you have communicated
[00:03:13] your feelings, work together to set boundaries. Decide what you will and you will not allow
[00:03:19] from outside influences. It could be deciding to limit visits to family or choosing not to
[00:03:26] discuss certain topics with friends if it leads to comparisons or conflicts. Setting boundaries
[00:03:33] is not just about saying no, it's about saying yes to the health and longevity of your
[00:03:39] relationship. It protects your union and allows you to grow together on your own terms.
[00:03:46] Part four, support systems and professional help. It's also beneficial to build a support system
[00:03:54] of people who respect your boundaries and the choices you make as a couple. These can be
[00:03:59] friends, family members or a community group that shares your values. If external pressures
[00:04:06] are causing significant distress, consider seeking help from a professional like a counselor or
[00:04:12] therapist. They can offer strategies to strengthen your relationship and deal with these pressures
[00:04:18] constructively. Reaffirming commitment. Lastly, but regularly, reaffirm your commitment to each
[00:04:26] other. Remind yourselves why you choose each other and renew your commitment to face external
[00:04:33] pressures together. This strengthens your bond and keeps your focus on what truly matters,
[00:04:40] which is your relationship. This script is designed to facilitate a thoughtful
[00:04:47] and structured discussion between partners about external pressures by understanding,
[00:04:53] communicating and setting boundaries. Couples can protect and nurture their relationship against
[00:05:00] these external influences. This will also engage couples in a thoughtful exploration,
[00:05:07] encouraging them to look beyond the surface and to build their relationship on a strong foundation
[00:05:13] of shared values, goals and understandings. Connect with me at minegraphs.com. You can
[00:05:21] also share your ideas on plus nine one seven zero one two eight seven eight three five three.
[00:05:29] This is Gina signing off from Gina.