Have you ever found yourself in a room full of adults, yet still treated like a kid simply because you're the youngest? Or perhaps you've experienced the pressure to behave more maturely than your siblings, simply because you're the older one?
It's common for individuals to find themselves in situations where they're treated like children despite feeling they've reached adulthood.
Join us as we find the answer in this episode.
Stay tuned, stay compassionate and always be kind to yourself.
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Until next time, keep spreading the sunshine!"
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[00:00:00] Hello Sunshine and how have you been?
[00:00:16] So let me ask you this question today, we'll begin this episode with the question.
[00:00:21] What is your definition of growing up?
[00:00:25] Is it when you get married?
[00:00:27] Is it when you finally get that dream job and you start paying your bills?
[00:00:32] Is it when you become a parent?
[00:00:35] Is it when you move to another city and start a new job, a new career, make new friends?
[00:00:41] Is that when you feel you're growing up?
[00:00:44] What if I asked you that I stopped being what you call trending sometime in 2014?
[00:00:52] What does that make me then?
[00:00:54] Recently my cousin said that at the age of 33 he still felt like a child having conversations
[00:01:01] with his co-workers and friends because he couldn't understand what they were talking about.
[00:01:06] He said because all we really talk about is marriage, investments, strategy,
[00:01:11] post retirement plans and frankly I have made none of them he said.
[00:01:17] He asked me am I losing it?
[00:01:19] Do I really have it all together?
[00:01:22] And this really makes me think do we all really have it all together?
[00:01:26] Or are we just adults working around feeling like 20 year olds in our heads trying to present ourselves
[00:01:36] in as responsible manner as we can keeping up with trends and expectations?
[00:01:42] And let me tell you there have been situations in my life that still freak me out.
[00:01:47] I do still feel overwhelmed, I do still feel anxious,
[00:01:51] I still wonder am I making the right choices?
[00:01:54] Am I being a good mom?
[00:01:56] Am I being a good friend?
[00:01:58] Is my life on track?
[00:02:00] And so today we have Vida Stanushka who has a whole lot of questions.
[00:02:04] Hi Danushka.
[00:02:06] Hi Sima.
[00:02:07] Welcome to this podcast.
[00:02:09] Thanks for having me.
[00:02:10] Okay, Sutanushka what is it that you'd like to tell us or share with us?
[00:02:15] Okay, so I have a question for you and that is like a when do we realize that we have grown up
[00:02:23] because you know I am at a stage where I'm neither an adult nor a young person
[00:02:28] and we are treated differently whatever suits or whatever we fit in whatever role we fit in
[00:02:35] like if we are wanted to be young we are and if I needed to take responsibility we just do
[00:02:41] and as a certified adult right now as you are what was your experience like at that age
[00:02:48] where you fitted into this category.
[00:02:51] Sutanushka like I said we are still trying to fit in, we're still trying to figure things out
[00:02:56] because remember no matter what age you are or what stage of life you're in
[00:03:02] I want you to know that it's okay you don't have it together always that you don't have
[00:03:07] it figured out always because A that's impossible and B literally no one has it all figured out.
[00:03:15] Okay, okay okay so that's a good thing okay and the one thing that I realized a long time ago
[00:03:23] is that despite all of my insecurities and my doubts and the fears and all of the conditioning
[00:03:30] that I may have been growing up with the most important thing is that I continue showing up for
[00:03:36] the people in my life that matter. That I continue showing up for the people in my work,
[00:03:41] I stay open-minded and I am open to growing evolving because that's what's important
[00:03:49] there is no right way to adult Sutanushka we're all doing our best and we're all learning as we go
[00:03:56] and through maturity is actually recognizing that no matter how old we get
[00:04:01] we are still human beings so we will all still have our passions and our conflicts
[00:04:06] and our fears and our dreams and our sensitivities and our desires and it's all okay because
[00:04:14] that's what makes us who we are and that is what's going to help us throughout our lives because
[00:04:19] that'll help us grow. Okay, so as a child I was I always used to believe that okay I'm a
[00:04:26] theory and you know one day I'll be receiving this magic when I'm older I'm you know around
[00:04:33] this age of 18 I'll definitely receive my magic tricks and I'll save the world and why not
[00:04:39] and yes I still continue to believe that somewhere in this world that it still exists
[00:04:45] but it's something more realistic now and it is in terms of how I want
[00:04:50] to give care and love to the people I really, really care about like my family and my friends
[00:04:56] and I have nothing but gratitude for like regarding them in my heart and I think yes that is
[00:05:03] something that my magic would be right now but yes there is still something you know the child
[00:05:08] in me that still believes yes this kind of magic is alive here you know just getting fired out of
[00:05:14] your hands. Oh, that's beautiful and you should keep that you should keep that going and you
[00:05:19] should keep that alive okay because let me tell you this is what I read somewhere in a book which
[00:05:23] how we were as children needs to inform who we are as adults which means that when we were in our
[00:05:31] most raw pure innocent unadulterated form that's when we learn to develop our connection to that
[00:05:39] fire that you're talking that drives us to succeed the passion that drives us to connect with others
[00:05:46] and the capacity that we have to be kind to be compassionate and then we start learning these
[00:05:52] we realize that we are feeling from a certain level of depth now if you have all of that
[00:05:57] Tanishka why would you want to get rid of it in fact I think that embracing our child like instincts
[00:06:05] that make us more mature but then you know there are words like you know Thayali Pulao
[00:06:11] now just become like a trend now it is turned into Delulu Lulu is the only Sallululu so that just
[00:06:17] makes it like Delusion is the solution that you have right now so does that mean you'll be living
[00:06:23] in a delusion no not at all because we have to reject the popular belief you know everyone tells us
[00:06:29] that you know you as a mature adult you have to get rid of your dreams and you have to stop
[00:06:32] day dreaming and you have to get rid of this unfiltered passion and zeal that you have for life
[00:06:38] we at that moment we start rejecting our most innocent sense our child like not childish
[00:06:46] childlike emotion and that's when it causes us a lot more problems than its solves so stop judging
[00:06:52] yourself for daring to dream or like you said believe that you're a fairy who can create magic
[00:06:58] because you are the creator of your life and you are capable of achieving everything that you really
[00:07:04] truly want desire and you're more than capable of going and achieving them as well thank you
[00:07:11] thank you so much it was love me chatting with you thanks a lot for answering my questions
[00:07:17] they're making me feel better already yeah
[00:07:23] years to each one of us having a fantastic week ahead of us believing and keeping that passion
[00:07:30] and the childlike innocence alive inside take good care of yourself and we'll talk to you all again
[00:07:36] next week so much love to all of you bye