Women’s Day: Celebration or Convenient Hypocrisy?

[00:00:04] Happy Women's Day! Here, take a flower, a discount and a motivational quote. Now go back to being underpaid, overworked and constantly judged. Do you know what I am talking about? Yes, you might know it because this is the reality of Women's Day nowadays.

[00:00:27] Women's Day is literally used as a PR stunt rather than a day of real change. And women are made to feel grateful for basic respect instead of demanding rights every day.

[00:00:45] Women's Day is not a problem. The problem is that for 364 days, women fight for respect, opportunities and choices. And on one day, they are expected to feel celebrated for existing.

[00:01:03] Today, in this episode, we are going to discuss the reality check on the Women's Day. You can't really praise a woman in speeches while you are blocking their promotions in wardrobe. Cakes in the office, a LinkedIn post about how women are strong and then the next day, she is still earning less than her male colleague.

[00:01:32] Companies love Women's Day as a PR stunt. But where is the equal pay? Where is the maternity support? Where is the leadership representation? All offer gifts, but no policies. The people who offer policies have the terms and conditions attached to it.

[00:01:57] You know, society loves to celebrate women as long as they fit into the role it wants for them. As a woman, when I say this, it utterly hurts me. Because we women don't really enjoy saying this out loud. But we have to. Everyone wants real empowerment.

[00:02:25] What real empowerment looks like? At the workplace, it is equal pay for equal work. It is maternity benefits without career penalties. It is more women in decision-making roles. Thus, not just HR or support roles. This is how actual workplace empowerment can look like. But do we really get that? That is the biggest question.

[00:02:55] Next part comes, which is social media activism. You will see it everywhere. Anything happens in the world about women. Every Instagram is flooded with the messages. Flooded with the, what now? Who is taking the responsibility? And how will we change it? But in the reality, the person who is posting this message has never seen the word empowerment in his life

[00:03:23] for his mother, sister, girlfriend, wife or daughter. Many times, this is the same situation. Even now, the Instagram is flooded with queens fix each other's crowns posts. But are we actually fixing anything? The sharing posts doesn't fix anything. Social media makes empowerment look aesthetic.

[00:03:53] But real empowerment is ugly. It's messy and it's uncomfortable. It's fighting for better laws, calling out biases and making space for the next generation. It's not just about fixing the crowns. It's about holding the space. It's about sharing the pain when another person is going through that thorny path. Social media empowerment has become performative.

[00:04:23] It more focuses on likes, not the laws. And people share quotes, but don't change actions. And that's the reality. We are into the flow of patriarchy since long. If we really want to go opposite to that flow, we have to take the blows on our faces. We have to face that force. And the real queens,

[00:04:50] the queen behavior is holding the space. It's actually empowering. And this is not just for women. It is also for men. As a queen, you hold the space for the women in your life and the men in your life. Because when the women is not getting empowered, it doesn't take toll on just one gender. Along with this, there is a different point

[00:05:18] where women are allowed to work. Women are allowed to earn. This allowed part is the different discussion altogether. But let's keep forward. Discussing on the same point. Let's ask ourselves, Are women allowed to feel? You are strong, but not too strong.

[00:05:46] Kind, but not too soft. Ambitious, but not too loud. The real struggle isn't just financial. It's emotional freedom. Right now, we all have financial freedom. Financial independence. Women are earning. But do they have emotional independence? Are they allowed to feel without feeling shameful or guilty?

[00:06:14] If they are too soft, they are weak. If they are too strong, they are aggressive. They are not elegant. They are masculine. Women are expected to smile through stress, but not demand solutions. This expectation has been killing women since long. But what does really emotional independence mean? It means owning your emotions. Anger, ambition, sadness, joy.

[00:06:44] Without shame. That's the important point. That's the important point. And it means not apologizing for being too much. Along with this, there is this expectation that work like you don't have a home. And run a home like you don't have work. Smile through it all. You're a superwoman.

[00:07:14] Women are praised for doing it all. But no one asks if they want to. The real conversation should be about equal partnerships. Not being a superwoman. Then there can be supermen. There can be a super society. Who can do it all? This entire situation creates unrealistic expectations.

[00:07:42] And it glorifies the struggle instead of demanding the balance. It's not about helping some person. It's not about... We are demanding help. It's about... We are requesting the people along with us to share the responsibilities. Because it's our collective responsibility to nurture, to be part of the society.

[00:08:14] We have to find a real solution. We have to redefine the success. It's okay to choose career, family or both on your own terms. And where the both partners take responsibility instead of one just helping. Because this all matters.

[00:08:42] These are the very important parts of anyone's life. And guess what? These are the biggest expectations of a woman's life. Which we don't think about for the rest 364 days. And then here comes the women's day. When I'm saying this, this is not coming from any book or theoretical or news something. This is my personal experience.

[00:09:08] When I wanted to leave my job for masters, I have seeked guidance from my seniors. They were the same people in the organization who have taken me for the women initiatives. They have always included me in the women's day celebrations. They have encouraged me to be part of the empowerment programs.

[00:09:35] But when I seek the guidance from them, I heard one dialogue which I never expected. You will end up as the other women who are doing their job, handling their family and their husbands and kids. Business, it's okay. This is just a piece.

[00:10:02] It was heart wrenching to hear this from the people who have been promoting themselves as a people who empower the women in leadership. Many who preach empowerment don't believe in it. They just like the idea of calling themselves supportive because it's trendy. The empowerment, this kind of empowerment only exists in theory for many people.

[00:10:31] They like the idea of it. The people like this, like the idea of supporting women, but not when it challenges their own beliefs. What I learned from this was, the real empowerment is about actions, not words. You have to really see a person who is saying he or she supports women empowerment. And you have to then see the person who actually supports.

[00:11:01] As I said before, the feminism is not just for women. It's not about women. Men are also under the pressure. They are afraid to express their emotions. They are stuck in the toxic masculinity. There are rule books for a man, to be a man, by this society. When we say this society, it's just the patterns we don't choose to break from years.

[00:11:30] Patriarchy traps men also. When women are free, men also get to be a human, not just providers, who can't feel or fail. This is coming from the foundation of love. Because, freedom of expression, every person deserves it. It's not related to any gender or gender roles.

[00:11:58] Patriarchy has been hurting men from long time by forcing them never to express. By forcing them and by making them feel like failures if they don't provide. By attaching their ego to being emotionless and rigid. And how feminism helps men is by allowing them to be vulnerable without judgment.

[00:12:24] It creates a world where both genders have choices, not expectations. Don't you think it's a beautiful world to live in for the rest 364 days? Flowers and discounts don't change lives. The choices do. Women's day should be about real decisions.

[00:12:51] Equal pay, emotional freedom, equal partnerships and unlearning the gender roles. This has to be about the action, not just the celebration. And for this, we really need to challenge the biases. And this is not just for the women I am saying. Men, we need your help. Because it is very important to work as a team,

[00:13:21] alongside with each other, with the patriarchy and the patterns as our enemies. We really need to challenge those biases. Whether it's in the workplace, it's in the family or in the relationships. We have to encourage the real conversations. Not just some surface level women's day campaigns and discounts and all that stuff.

[00:13:48] The real problem isn't that women's day is celebrated. It's that women are expected to feel grateful for one day of respect. While the rest of the year, they are fighting for what should have been theirs all along. And can I tell you the best part of it? We both can change this. If we decide.

[00:14:17] Now the point is, I have decided, do you want to as well? The decision is yours. You were listening to the Expressive Nadi Podcast with Chayal Bharambe. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Subscribe and follow us for more such episodes. And keep expressing!