Sheree Spencer | Husband Secretly Records Coercive and Controlling Wife

[00:00:00] This is True Crime Psychology and Personality, where we discuss the pathology behind some

[00:00:12] of the most horrific crimes and those who committed them from a scientifically informed

[00:00:17] perspective.

[00:00:18] I'm Dr. Todd Grande.

[00:00:21] I have a Ph.D. in Councilor Education and Supervision and I'm a licensed professional

[00:00:26] Councillor of Mental Health.

[00:00:27] Dr. Todd Grande, that's my YouTube channel.

[00:00:31] Today's question is, can I analyze the case of Richard and Sheree Spencer?

[00:00:37] First a look at the background of this case moved to the timeline of the crime and offer

[00:00:42] my analysis.

[00:00:44] Richard Spencer was born in the 1970s and lived in England when he was nine years old as

[00:00:49] mother died of cancer.

[00:00:51] In the year 2000, Richard met a 22-year-old woman named Sheree.

[00:00:56] They started living together at one point they lived in London.

[00:00:59] In 2009, they traveled to Thailand and married.

[00:01:04] Richard had a good job where he earned six figures.

[00:01:07] Sheree worked for his Majesty's Prison and Probation Service.

[00:01:12] She was a project manager involved with strategy and performance.

[00:01:16] Eventually the couple ended up in Bubwith about a half-mile sap of York.

[00:01:21] They lived in a seven-bedroom house.

[00:01:24] The couple had a daughter in 2015 and would go on to have two more daughters.

[00:01:29] Now moving to the timeline of the crime.

[00:01:32] Richard talked about his experiences with his wife Sheree, and a documentary titled My

[00:01:37] Wife, My Abuser, The Secret Footage.

[00:01:40] This documentary aired on Britain's Channel 5.

[00:01:44] According to Richard and others featured in the documentary, here's what happened during

[00:01:49] his time.

[00:01:50] Sheree.

[00:01:51] In the beginning of their relationship, Sheree was pleasant 95% of the time.

[00:01:56] However eventually she became violent.

[00:01:59] Sheree consumed a lot of alcohol.

[00:02:01] Sometimes she had three bottles of wine a day.

[00:02:05] Before finally using IVF, the couple tried to have children for a while without success.

[00:02:11] According to increased odds of becoming pregnant, Sheree started asking for more sex.

[00:02:16] Richard found the sex to be absent of love and he started dreading the activity.

[00:02:22] As a way of insulting him, his wife accused him of not being a man and would remind him

[00:02:27] that he failed to impregnate her.

[00:02:29] During an incident in April 2020, Sheree struck Richard in his ear with a wine bottle.

[00:02:36] Later he complained to her that his ear was really hurting.

[00:02:39] She ordered him to stop talking about it and punched him in that same ear.

[00:02:45] Richard was in a lot of pain and begged her to stop.

[00:02:47] At this point she kicked him in his ear, causing even more agony.

[00:02:53] Sheree threatened to break a mirror in the bathroom, cut herself with the glass, and falsely

[00:02:58] accused Richard of attacking her.

[00:03:01] A restraining order against him would be next and he would no longer be part of the family.

[00:03:06] In an effort to prove that she was serious, Sheree even went to a window and yelled statements

[00:03:11] like Richard stopped hitting me so the neighbors could over here.

[00:03:16] Sheree claimed that she was smarter than Richard and he could never win against her.

[00:03:21] During another incident, Richard was seated on the floor of the couple's bedroom.

[00:03:25] He would have normally sat on the bed, but his wife would not let him insisting that

[00:03:29] she had paid for the bed so it was hers.

[00:03:33] She went into the bathroom for a moment and came out.

[00:03:36] At this point Sheree defecated one Richard's head and said, clean my blanket up.

[00:03:42] At another time Sheree produced a knife and held it to Richard's throat.

[00:03:46] In addition to these incidents, Sheree had mistreated Richard many other times.

[00:03:51] A few examples.

[00:03:53] Sheree cracked eggs on Richard's head and pushed them into his face.

[00:03:57] Sheree insulted Richard saying, your little blank told him everyone was sick of him

[00:04:02] and claimed he didn't have the blank common sense to do anything artistic or creative.

[00:04:09] Sheree told one of her daughters that Richard was a horrible, horrible little man

[00:04:13] and they would get rid of him soon.

[00:04:15] One time Sheree instructed one of her daughters to tell the neighbors that,

[00:04:19] daddy's a nasty man.

[00:04:21] There were several occasions where Sheree slapped, punched, and kicked Richard.

[00:04:25] He often cowarded and tried to protect his face with his hands.

[00:04:29] According to a neighbor, Sheree urinated on the seat of the Spencer family car and damaged

[00:04:35] the car tires with a knife.

[00:04:38] In his house, Richard had cameras in a bedroom and in a playroom.

[00:04:42] These cameras captured Sheree mistreating Richard over the course of years.

[00:04:47] In addition, Richard recorded using a cell phone and took photographs of injuries he sustained

[00:04:52] from Sheree attacking him.

[00:04:55] In total, Richard had accumulated 36 video clips, nine cell phone recordings and 43 photographs

[00:05:03] of his injuries.

[00:05:05] After sharing some of the videos with a friend, his friend went to the police without Richard's

[00:05:09] permission and showed them the videos.

[00:05:12] In June 2021, Sheree was arrested and unwisely decided to talk to the police.

[00:05:19] Here's what she told them.

[00:05:21] Sheree claimed that Richard had consumed alcohol, was unsupportive as a husband and dragged

[00:05:26] her by the hair.

[00:05:28] She acknowledged being a perpetrator some of the time but argued that she was a victim

[00:05:32] too, as if the offending was mutual and balanced.

[00:05:37] To explain the bite marks on Richard's body featured in photographs, Sheree said those

[00:05:42] were sexual in nature.

[00:05:44] When asked if she could produce photos of her injuries just like Richard did for his,

[00:05:49] Sheree claimed that she deleted them from her phone.

[00:05:53] The police confronted Sheree with a video of her threatening Richard with a knife but

[00:05:57] accidentally played the video with the sound off.

[00:06:00] As it turns out, this worked in the favor of the place.

[00:06:04] When Sheree watched the video without the sound, she explained how she had the knife because

[00:06:09] she wanted to give it to Richard.

[00:06:11] He had threatened to kill her so she was going to hand him the knife and invite him to

[00:06:16] follow through with his threat.

[00:06:18] When the video was played with the sound on, Sheree could be heard warning Richard.

[00:06:23] At one point when she was referring to her behavior, she stated, shame it takes that level

[00:06:29] of violence.

[00:06:31] The audio proved that Sheree had just lied to the police.

[00:06:35] Sheree was taken to jail but was eventually released on bond.

[00:06:38] As she was awaiting trial, she repeatedly claimed that she was a victim.

[00:06:43] Despite this, in February 2023, 45-year-old Sheree Spencer pleaded guilty to three counts

[00:06:48] of assault, occasioning actual bodily harm.

[00:06:52] This was for physical violence that occurred in January and April of 2020.

[00:06:58] Sheree also pleaded guilty to coercive and controlling behavior in an intimate or family

[00:07:03] relationship.

[00:07:04] This was for her behavior between January 2016 and June 2021.

[00:07:10] She was sentenced to four years in prison but will be eligible for parole in just two

[00:07:14] years, meaning she could be out as early as February 2025.

[00:07:19] Richard moved on to his life and found a new partner.

[00:07:22] He lives in Yorkshire.

[00:07:24] He acknowledged that he was manipulated by Sheree.

[00:07:27] She had managed to convince him that he was responsible for what happened.

[00:07:31] Her argument was that the mistreatment was justifiable because Richard disappointed

[00:07:36] her.

[00:07:37] He isolated him and controlled him in many ways.

[00:07:40] For example, she told him which bathroom he could use and what bedroom he could sleep

[00:07:44] in.

[00:07:45] Despite all this, Richard Spencer indicated that he has no anger or ill will towards Sheree.

[00:07:51] Now moving to my analysis.

[00:07:54] What do I think happened in this case?

[00:07:56] This is just a theory, my opinion.

[00:07:58] In the beginning of the marriage between Richard and Sheree, Richard found his wife to be kind,

[00:08:03] thoughtful and caring, but also in possession of a dark side.

[00:08:08] When she started mistreating him, he was alarmed, but thought things would get better.

[00:08:12] After they had children, he was thinking that Sheree would improve.

[00:08:16] Unfortunately, that didn't happen.

[00:08:19] Rather her behavior only became more worrisome.

[00:08:22] After Richard lost his mother at a young age, he felt pressure to contain his emotions.

[00:08:28] When Sheree provoked him, he would not become angry in response.

[00:08:32] In an effort to minimize complaints and frame her behavior as appropriate, Sheree would

[00:08:37] tell Richard that it was normal for couples to argue.

[00:08:41] Her plan was to make him feel overly sensitive and petty, like he was whining about every

[00:08:47] little thing.

[00:08:48] One key concern that Richard had was based on Sheree's threat that she would accuse him

[00:08:53] of harming her.

[00:08:54] Richard recognized that he was physically larger and stronger than Sheree.

[00:08:58] He knew that this would not weigh in his favor with the police.

[00:09:02] Sheree was exploiting the inherent bias of the criminal justice system as far as how domestic

[00:09:07] violence is viewed.

[00:09:10] More often than not, men are the perpetrators, therefore the police tend to be more suspicious

[00:09:15] of men.

[00:09:16] Richard decided to cope with the mistreatment instead of going to the police.

[00:09:20] When he knew that a physical attack was imminent, it would change his shirt to something

[00:09:24] that would hold up better under attack, like a shirt without buttons.

[00:09:28] He used makeup to cover bruises on his face so he could drop his daughters off at school

[00:09:34] without attracting negative attention.

[00:09:37] On occasion, Richard restrained Sheree after she attacked him, but this only made her ten

[00:09:42] times angrier.

[00:09:44] Most of the time, Richard simply tried to protect himself when Sheree was violent.

[00:09:49] For example, he would curl up into a ball.

[00:09:52] Richard still held out hope that the mistreatment would simply stop.

[00:09:56] That's all he wanted.

[00:09:57] He wasn't interested in revenge, he wasn't interested in damaging his wife's reputation,

[00:10:02] he simply wanted to live in a house where he was not a punching bag.

[00:10:07] As he was struggling with the physical and verbal harm, Richard was doubting himself and

[00:10:11] his potential role in what was happening.

[00:10:14] This is because Sheree was constantly telling him that it was his fault.

[00:10:19] He was gaspating him, saying that he was actually causing their arguments.

[00:10:24] Sheree's manipulation tactics against Richard were so effective that on a few occasions,

[00:10:29] he considered deleting the videos that he had accumulated.

[00:10:34] If Richard's daughters had not witnessed what was happening to him, he never would have

[00:10:37] spoken to anyone about what Sheree was doing.

[00:10:41] He valued his marriage and his family and was willing to suffer if necessary.

[00:10:46] We of course did act out in front of their daughters and Richard did feel compelled to share

[00:10:51] his experiences with a friend.

[00:10:54] This ultimately led to Sheree's arrest and conviction.

[00:10:58] Being separated from Sheree may have caused mixed emotions for Richard, like he was ambivalent.

[00:11:05] In one sense, he was losing someone that he loved.

[00:11:07] In another sense, it was a tremendous weight off his shoulders.

[00:11:12] Now the situation was no longer in his control.

[00:11:15] It was up to the criminal justice system to deal with Sheree.

[00:11:19] Her manipulation tactics may have worked on Richard, but they would not work on the place.

[00:11:24] As far as Sheree, her behavior is consistent with someone who was self-centered, arrogant,

[00:11:30] condescending, vindictive, deceptive, and who had a sense of entitlement.

[00:11:34] Alcohol was a major part of Sheree's life and only made her behavior worse.

[00:11:40] Alcohol consumption proceeded many, if not all, of the attacks against Richard.

[00:11:45] Sheree would become aggressive and vicious when intoxicated.

[00:11:50] For some reason, Richard was the target and not her daughters.

[00:11:54] Perhaps there was some deep-seated anger toward him that was unlocked by the alcohol.

[00:11:59] One remarkable element of Sheree's behavior is how she refused to change.

[00:12:04] When she was not drinking, she would have known about the violence she perpetrated when she

[00:12:08] was intoxicated.

[00:12:10] Despite knowing this, she would drink again and risk becoming violent.

[00:12:14] There is the sense that Sheree really didn't care about the consequences.

[00:12:18] She wanted to drink no matter what.

[00:12:21] Nothing was going to stop her.

[00:12:23] Sheree just happened to be with a partner who was non-confrontational, peace-loving,

[00:12:28] and highly vulnerable to manipulation.

[00:12:31] This allowed Sheree to get away with her crimes for a long time.

[00:12:35] She may not have been pleased with Richard as a husband, but she probably was pleased

[00:12:39] with him as a victim.

[00:12:41] There may have been this feeling for Sheree that she was invincible.

[00:12:46] She could do anything that she wanted without consequences.

[00:12:49] Ultimately, however, Sheree simply pushed Richard too far.

[00:12:55] Everyone has a limit.

[00:12:56] Now moving to my final thoughts.

[00:12:59] Richard had faith that his wife would change and believed her when she accused him of being

[00:13:03] a problem in the marriage.

[00:13:06] This kept him trapped in a vicious cycle.

[00:13:08] Sheree had faith that Richard would never stand up to her in any meaningful way.

[00:13:13] Her reign of terror would never end.

[00:13:16] Both were wrong in their assumptions, and both learned about their incorrectness, the

[00:13:21] hard way.

[00:13:22] It's not all bad news for Sheree.

[00:13:24] Her job in the prison system was to discover the impact of incarceration on families.

[00:13:31] Now she can conduct firsthand research through her magical prison journey.

[00:13:40] This has been True Crime Psychology and Personality from R's Lunga Media.

[00:13:49] This content is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

[00:13:53] R's Lunga Vita Brevis

[00:14:01] Did you guys hear about that couple that went on vacation and one spouse murdered the

[00:14:11] other?

[00:14:12] In fact, the entire vacation was planned just so they could make the murder look like an

[00:14:17] accident.

[00:14:18] Ah, so like a slaycation.

[00:14:20] Oh boy!

[00:14:21] Sounds like a fun new True Crime podcast to me!

[00:14:27] On every episode of Slaycation, we'll examine true cases of people who were killed while

[00:14:32] on vacation.

[00:14:34] Was it murder?

[00:14:35] Here, just a horrible accident!

[00:14:38] That's up to you and the law to decide.

[00:14:41] But either way, if you leave for your vacation in the plane…

[00:14:46] And come home under the plane…

[00:14:49] You've definitely gone on a slaycation.

[00:14:51] Join us every week for a fascinating new episode.

[00:14:54] 911, what's your emergency?

[00:14:56] But make sure to pack your body bags because getting away can be murder.

[00:15:01] This is Slaycation.