Darren Sykes | Victim Narcissist Lures Sons to Fiery Death with Model Train Set

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[00:01:31] This is True Crime Psychology and Personality, where we discuss the pathology behind some

[00:01:44] of the most horrific crimes and those who committed them from a scientifically informed perspective.

[00:01:51] I'm Dr. Todd Grande.

[00:01:53] I have a PhD in Counselor Education and Supervision, and I'm a licensed professional counselor of

[00:01:58] mental health.

[00:01:59] Dr. Todd Grande, that's my YouTube channel.

[00:02:03] Today's question is, can I analyze the case of Darren Sykes?

[00:02:07] First I'll look at the background of this case, move to the timeline of the crime, then

[00:02:11] offer my analysis.

[00:02:13] Darren Sykes was born sometime around 1970 and lived in Yorkshire, England.

[00:02:19] He worked for a carpet company as a salesman.

[00:02:21] A woman named Claire Thrassell worked for the same company.

[00:02:26] She met Darren on October 19, 1996.

[00:02:30] Darren asked Claire out on a date, but she rejected him, believing he was arrogant and

[00:02:35] overconfident.

[00:02:37] This rejection did not discourage Darren.

[00:02:39] He sent Claire a rose every day for three weeks until she gave in.

[00:02:44] Within a year, the couple became engaged.

[00:02:47] In 1998, they married.

[00:02:49] They lived in a semi-detached house in the small town of Penistone, which is 15 miles

[00:02:55] north of Sheffield.

[00:02:57] On March 31, 2002, they had a son named Jack.

[00:03:01] On January 9, 2005, they had a son named Paul.

[00:03:06] Darren was aggressive and violent during the course of the marriage.

[00:03:09] During an incident in April of 2014, he attempted to punch his son, Jack.

[00:03:15] To protect Jack, Claire pushed him into his bedroom and closed the door.

[00:03:21] Darren punched Claire instead and knocked her down the stairs.

[00:03:25] At this point, Claire decided to leave Darren.

[00:03:28] She would later say, quote, I realized then that as hard as it was to leave, I didn't

[00:03:34] want my boys thinking that's how you treat somebody in a relationship.

[00:03:38] And I didn't want them to see me hurt because that broke their hearts, unquote.

[00:03:44] After Claire filed for divorce, Darren stalked her and threatened to harm her.

[00:03:48] On one occasion, Claire found that one of her tires had been slashed.

[00:03:53] Claire managed to get an emergency custody order, which prevented Darren from seeing

[00:03:57] Jack and Paul.

[00:03:59] It only lasted for four months.

[00:04:01] The couple went to court to fight for custody.

[00:04:04] In the waiting room, Darren glared at Claire and accused her of being manipulative.

[00:04:10] He explained to her that she should tell her sons that it was her fault they were not seeing

[00:04:14] their father.

[00:04:16] Darren also said that Claire would never have the boys.

[00:04:19] She was not going to take them away from him.

[00:04:22] In July 2014, Darren was granted five hours of unsupervised visitation per week.

[00:04:29] Claire was not happy about this decision because she believed that Darren was dangerous.

[00:04:35] As it turns out, her assessment was accurate.

[00:04:39] Now moving to the timeline of the crime.

[00:04:42] On October 22, 2014, Claire drove Jack and Paul to school.

[00:04:47] That evening when Claire returned home from work, she missed her sons by five minutes.

[00:04:52] Darren had taken both Jack and Paul for a scheduled visit.

[00:04:56] Upon entering her residence, Claire noticed that her sons had left their cell phones behind.

[00:05:02] When Darren arrived at his house with Jack and Paul, he lured them into the attic with

[00:05:07] chocolate bars and a new model train set.

[00:05:11] At about 6.30 p.m., as the boys played with the train set in the attic, Darren poured

[00:05:16] gasoline all around the house and set about 16 fires.

[00:05:22] He placed a chair under the front door handle to prevent people from entering the house.

[00:05:27] 44-year-old Darren entered the attic as the house burned, intent on dying along with his sons.

[00:05:34] Both he and 9-year-old Paul were overcome by smoke and incapacitated.

[00:05:41] 12-year-old Jack tried to rescue his brother Paul.

[00:05:44] He made his way over to him and opened the hatch in the attic to escape but fell to the

[00:05:49] first floor and into the fire.

[00:05:52] Emergency responders arrived and found Darren, Jack, and Paul severely injured.

[00:05:57] They were all transported to a hospital in Sheffield.

[00:06:00] Jack told firefighters that his father deliberately set the fire.

[00:06:05] The police picked up Claire and took her to see her son Paul, who was moments from death.

[00:06:10] Claire was holding Paul the moment he died.

[00:06:13] Her last words to him were, quote,

[00:06:15] Don't leave me, Paul. Don't leave me. I love you. Unquote.

[00:06:19] Darren Sykes died about 20 minutes after Paul.

[00:06:24] Claire was informed that her son Jack was alive, but he had sustained burns to 56% of

[00:06:28] his body and was in a medically induced coma.

[00:06:32] Jack had been transferred to a hospital in Manchester.

[00:06:36] Claire stayed with Jack in the hospital until he died five days later, on October 27.

[00:06:42] Her last words to him were, quote, Be at peace. I love you. Unquote.

[00:06:48] Investigators discovered that Darren had planned the murders for at least a few days in advance.

[00:06:53] Darren told people that he believed the world was against him and he would frequently talk

[00:06:57] about his sons.

[00:06:58] One co-worker said that he did this so much, Darren appeared to be obsessed.

[00:07:03] On October 20, two days before the murders, Darren met with a social worker.

[00:07:09] She determined that he was not a danger to his children, even though she found him to

[00:07:12] be agitated and unreasonable.

[00:07:16] A half hour later, Darren was captured on surveillance video purchasing the gasoline

[00:07:21] cans he later used to set the fire.

[00:07:24] On the day of the murders, Darren parked his van away from his house so nobody would realize

[00:07:29] he was home.

[00:07:30] He sent the same text message to six people saying that he was going to be at peace.

[00:07:36] Now moving to my analysis.

[00:07:38] Here are my thoughts on a few areas that stood out to me in this case.

[00:07:42] Item number one.

[00:07:43] The early part of the relationship between Darren and Claire was characterized by grand

[00:07:47] gestures on the part of Darren.

[00:07:50] He would often send Claire flowers and purchase extravagant gifts for her.

[00:07:55] This behavior, which is sometimes referred to as love bombing, is associated with both

[00:08:00] grandiose and vulnerable narcissism.

[00:08:04] Darren's over-the-top expressions of love may have contributed to Claire disregarding

[00:08:08] or minimizing his myriad negative traits.

[00:08:12] Item number two.

[00:08:14] The phase featuring grand romantic gestures did not last too long.

[00:08:18] It was soon replaced by controlling and obsessive behavior.

[00:08:22] For example, Darren would view Claire's emails and look at her cell phone.

[00:08:27] One day Claire noticed that a letter, which had been addressed to her, had been opened.

[00:08:32] When she asked Darren about it, he stated that there were no secrets between them.

[00:08:37] Darren frequently called Claire at work to communicate information that was trivial,

[00:08:42] like he was just checking in on her.

[00:08:44] Eventually, the number of phone calls reached 40 a day.

[00:08:49] When Claire tried to spend time alone, like hanging out with her girlfriends, Darren would

[00:08:53] show up wherever they were and sit down.

[00:08:56] Claire's friends stopped inviting her because Darren was intrusive and disturbing.

[00:09:02] This contributed to Claire being isolated.

[00:09:06] Item number three.

[00:09:07] Over time, Darren became violent.

[00:09:10] One time when Claire and Darren were getting ready to go to a party, Darren insulted her.

[00:09:16] When she responded by saying she would go by herself, he punched her in the arm.

[00:09:21] Darren wanted to have sex every night and would not take no for an answer.

[00:09:25] Claire was the victim of multiple assaults of a sexual nature.

[00:09:30] She was preparing to leave Darren when she became pregnant with Jack.

[00:09:34] Claire hoped that things would get better as they built a family, but Darren's behavior

[00:09:38] did not improve.

[00:09:40] Item number four.

[00:09:41] Darren appeared to be envious of his sons, Jack and Paul, and they were targets of his

[00:09:45] aggressive behavior.

[00:09:47] He struck them on multiple occasions.

[00:09:50] Paul accused his father of grabbing him by the throat.

[00:09:53] On another occasion, Darren hurt Paul while they were wrestling and said that Paul needed

[00:09:58] to toughen up.

[00:10:00] On at least one occasion, Darren forced Paul to eat off the floor because Paul didn't

[00:10:04] finish his food fast enough.

[00:10:06] Jack was not immune from Darren's rage either.

[00:10:09] One time when Jack was playing the trumpet, Darren physically attacked him.

[00:10:14] The majority of Darren's interactions with his children were negative.

[00:10:17] He did not spend quality time with them.

[00:10:20] Even though he appeared to despise them, Darren was not open to the idea of being separated

[00:10:24] from his sons.

[00:10:26] He warned Claire that he would never tolerate her taking Jack and Paul away from him.

[00:10:32] Item number five.

[00:10:33] Considering Darren's terrible behavior, some wonder why Claire did not leave him years

[00:10:38] earlier.

[00:10:39] Like many people trapped in this type of relationship, Claire hoped that things would get better,

[00:10:44] and she didn't have the financial resources to escape.

[00:10:47] Furthermore, Darren was often apologetic, like he would send flowers after perpetrating

[00:10:53] an attack.

[00:10:54] On one occasion, he even took anger management classes, which seemed to help, but the effects

[00:11:00] were only temporary.

[00:11:02] Most domestic violence offenders do not escalate to murder.

[00:11:06] Even though Darren was aggressive, Claire did not initially believe he would commit homicide.

[00:11:11] It's worth noting that Claire did eventually leave Darren, and she warned the authorities

[00:11:15] that he was dangerous.

[00:11:18] They did not listen to her despite clear warning signs.

[00:11:21] For example, Darren had a history of controlling behavior.

[00:11:25] He had been arrested for attacking a neighbor, and Jack and Paul told social workers they

[00:11:30] were afraid of him.

[00:11:32] Item number six.

[00:11:33] What do I think happened in this case?

[00:11:35] This is just a theory, my opinion.

[00:11:38] Darren was insecure, self-centered, resentful, vindictive, controlling, manipulative, pessimistic,

[00:11:44] cynical, cold, callous, petty, violent, angry, sadistic, emotionally dysregulated, full of

[00:11:50] shame, and had a sense of entitlement.

[00:11:54] His narcissistic traits were primarily on the vulnerable side.

[00:11:58] Darren was a victim narcissist.

[00:12:01] He drove Claire and his sons away from him through his aggressive behavior, then complained

[00:12:06] when they didn't want to spend time with him.

[00:12:08] A lack of insight prevented Darren from understanding that he was the problem.

[00:12:13] Darren had a lack of empathy, but was able to empathize with criminal offenders.

[00:12:18] One time when he and Claire were watching the news about a case where a father killed

[00:12:22] his children, Darren said that he understood why the man did it.

[00:12:27] Fathers are not treated the same way as mothers.

[00:12:30] In October 2014, Darren felt like he was losing everything.

[00:12:34] He believed that nobody was listening to his side of the story, and as a father, the deck

[00:12:39] was stacked against him in court.

[00:12:41] The system was rigged, and he did not have a chance of obtaining justice.

[00:12:46] The number one target for Darren was Claire because he blamed her for his desperate situation.

[00:12:53] In his mind, Darren believed that if Claire had only stayed with him, none of this would

[00:12:57] have happened.

[00:12:58] Instead, she defied his authority and threw him out like garbage.

[00:13:04] Darren wanted Claire to experience the same pain that he was feeling.

[00:13:08] He wanted to teach her a lesson, show her how much she had harmed him.

[00:13:13] This is why he selected Jack and Paul to murder.

[00:13:16] He could have simply killed Claire, but that would not accomplish his goal.

[00:13:21] Claire needed to be alive in order to suffer.

[00:13:24] Darren knew that killing Jack and Paul would be the most devastating action he could take

[00:13:28] to harm Claire.

[00:13:30] He took the love that Claire had for her sons and used it against her.

[00:13:35] His goal was for Claire to blame herself, to look at the carnage and say, I caused this

[00:13:41] by not empathizing with Darren, by not loving him enough, by not staying with him.

[00:13:47] This is how distorted Darren's thinking was.

[00:13:50] He died believing others would view him as the victim and Claire as the monster.

[00:13:56] Ultimately, Claire did regret a decision, just not the one that Darren identified as

[00:14:00] the problem.

[00:14:02] She regretted not walking away from Darren at the first sign he was a victim narcissist.

[00:14:08] Now moving to my final thoughts.

[00:14:10] Vulnerable narcissists who play the victim do not make ideal romantic partners, but usually

[00:14:16] are not violent.

[00:14:17] If a vulnerable narcissist happens to have anger and impulse control problems on top

[00:14:22] of being self-centered, insecure, vindictive, and sadistic, the risk of violence is dramatically

[00:14:28] higher.

[00:14:29] A woman involved with a man who has vulnerable narcissism may tell herself that it's not

[00:14:34] bad because the worst he can do is hurt her.

[00:14:37] Like she is willing to suffer with him, it's worth the risk.

[00:14:41] This may be true when talking about just two people, but if a vulnerable narcissist has

[00:14:45] children, he could see them as a way to inflict unimaginable pain.

[00:14:59] This has been True Crime Psychology and Personality from Ars Langa Media.

[00:15:04] This content is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

[00:15:09] Ars Langa, Vita Brevis.

[00:15:12] Something is creeping in, don't follow it, love.

[00:15:24] Let me introduce you to Barry Clue, an authorized financial advisor from New Zealand and a very

[00:15:29] special kind of stain on humanity.

[00:15:32] He was a very knowledgeable young guy.

[00:15:35] He was a registered financial advisor.

[00:15:37] The type of guy that was bending over backwards to help you.

[00:15:40] Now you could be forgiven for thinking that Barry sounds like a great guy, and you'd

[00:15:44] be right.

[00:15:45] Well, right up until the point when you're wrong.

[00:15:48] It was all fictitious.

[00:15:49] She stole from my son who has a disability.

[00:15:52] Chris never knew.

[00:15:54] He died believing that we were all taken care of.

[00:15:57] A psychopath is somebody who lacks empathy, acts impulsively.

[00:16:01] I think there's a strong case that Barry might be one of those things actually.

[00:16:04] To find out how Barry Clue stole over $15 million from 81 victims, subscribe to Clueless,

[00:16:10] the long con.

[00:16:11] That's Clueless, spelled K-L-O-O-G-H-L-E-S-S.