S1/EP4 - Can you make your spouse the best accountability partner?

[00:00:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Indian Couple Fitness Podcast, my name is Ravitej and my name is Amulia.

[00:00:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the episode number 4.

[00:00:14] [SPEAKER_00]: This episode is how to make your spouse your best accountability partner.

[00:00:19] [SPEAKER_00]: So when we are talking about accountability partner right, the first person which we think

[00:00:25] [SPEAKER_00]: about okay somebody who can help us from the house itself that can be our spouse

[00:00:30] [SPEAKER_00]: isn't it true?

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_00]: But usually the story does not go well because there are so many things it may go wrong.

[00:00:37] [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, because your spouse will be knowing your weaknesses and your strengths and what actually

[00:00:41] [SPEAKER_01]: you are doing because if you keep your accountability partner someone who is a stranger who is from

[00:00:46] [SPEAKER_01]: outside you can tell them anything you can keep faking it but you can't do that with

[00:00:50] [SPEAKER_01]: your spouse.

[00:00:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so this episode is about what are the things which we think can work for you

[00:00:59] [SPEAKER_00]: and we have created a five step system which can help you and sometimes it has helped us.

[00:01:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so let's begin with this particular episode and these podcast is to help you.

[00:01:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, if you're a couple or you are a single also is to help you giving you real life

[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_00]: advice and realistic things which works for you to make things happen for your health

[00:01:25] [SPEAKER_00]: and fitness.

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_00]: So the step number one in this particular podcast is to set your DER.

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_00]: DER stands for deep emotional reason.

[00:01:37] [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, so before starting this if we set our deep emotional reason it will be very easier

[00:01:44] [SPEAKER_01]: for us because whenever we are facing any challenges the spouse can remind you about

[00:01:48] [SPEAKER_01]: that can tell you about that and if there is an emotional connected to this then

[00:01:52] [SPEAKER_01]: I think it can get back to us on the track.

[00:01:54] [SPEAKER_00]: So let me give you an example here when we talk about deep emotional reason.

[00:01:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Let's take example you want to reset your body and you want to improve your overall health

[00:02:04] [SPEAKER_00]: you want to get back to your ideal weight you want to improve your sleep so many factors right

[00:02:10] [SPEAKER_00]: but if just on a surface level you go with this mission what would happen is

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_00]: if you don't stick to that there is no anchor for you.

[00:02:20] [SPEAKER_00]: So just like for a big ship to be standing on one place there is an anchor required

[00:02:25] [SPEAKER_00]: for you to actually follow through on this accountability system you need an anchor that

[00:02:30] [SPEAKER_00]: anchor is your deep emotional reason.

[00:02:33] [SPEAKER_00]: So let's take example a person A wants to reset the body and the reason is for the child.

[00:02:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Then what happens is this becomes awesome anchor and whenever there is a problem

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_00]: we can all go back to the anchor and we can reset the system.

[00:02:49] [SPEAKER_00]: So that's our first thing advice is set your deep emotional reason take out time and understand

[00:02:56] [SPEAKER_01]: that that will be the first step. Next if you're going to the second step that is

[00:03:01] [SPEAKER_01]: giving permission to the spouse the person who has the goal to reset their body

[00:03:06] [SPEAKER_01]: needs to give the permission to their spouse to correct them or keep nudging them always okay

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_01]: you're not doing this I think you didn't complete your workout today you didn't

[00:03:15] [SPEAKER_01]: have your proper nutrition or you didn't have sleep on the right time these permissions

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_01]: should be given by the person who is trying to reset their body.

[00:03:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Why because we all have big egos right and just before creating this particular podcast

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_00]: we were having a little bit of argument like okay can we say this can we say that all of this

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_00]: but just imagine in day-to-day life with a couple there is so many arguments which happens

[00:03:41] [SPEAKER_00]: and especially when it is about a transformation there would be happening on

[00:03:48] [SPEAKER_00]: very regular basis some kind of arguments but if you are stuck in your life with argument you cannot

[00:03:55] [SPEAKER_00]: progress where you want to reach so you need to have that kind of alignment in terms of

[00:04:03] [SPEAKER_00]: giving permission to them correcting you in all this way. So let's go on to the third

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_01]: point. The third point is to have a visible tracker like we can have some tracker like maybe stuck

[00:04:16] [SPEAKER_01]: onto our fridge or something where it is visible to us every day and this tracker should be tracked

[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_01]: by the spouse who's given the permission and they should tick mark your pointers like did you do

[00:04:27] [SPEAKER_01]: the workout, did you have sleep, did you take your water and all that. So this can be applied

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_00]: anywhere right so the point here is a tracker which is visible to both of them and it is to remind and

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_00]: it is in a place where everybody both of them they visit this place it can be in your bathroom mirror

[00:04:50] [SPEAKER_00]: it can be on the fridge as she said about. So let's go on to the fourth point.

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_01]: The fourth point is about rectification system that is whenever we feel the person is not

[00:05:02] [SPEAKER_01]: on track or not doing it then they should be like we should remind the ER which we had set at the first

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_00]: point. Yeah so this is where it plays a very vital role because if we didn't had a ER there would be no

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_00]: way of again anchoring it and this would come into conflict and the entire system would collapse

[00:05:24] [SPEAKER_00]: here. So this fourth one is very important because somebody skips on certain things if they're

[00:05:31] [SPEAKER_00]: instead of correcting them there you just remind them why they started okay why you both started

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_00]: on this mission and why you became the accountability partner and that is more motivating rather than

[00:05:42] [SPEAKER_00]: correcting them or making them feel bad it is a much more realistic approach. So this leads us

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_01]: to the fifth point. So the fifth point is the reward system so reward is like we can give

[00:05:53] [SPEAKER_01]: the person like some kind of cheat meals we can have maybe we can break it r into the seven

[00:05:58] [SPEAKER_01]: days once the seven days all the things have been followed up then maybe we can give a cheat meal there.

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah so how do I say this the reward system is our habit building

[00:06:11] [SPEAKER_00]: in a brain works on a habit building system anything our brain sees as rewarding it wants to

[00:06:19] [SPEAKER_00]: do it again just like example eating fast food it is bringing your senses into a very

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_00]: dopamine sitting and it wants it again so it brings a habit right. So how can we make this

[00:06:34] [SPEAKER_00]: accountability system as a habit when we can reward it and on a regular intervals and milestones

[00:06:40] [SPEAKER_00]: when you can bring certain reward system it's going to be really really powerful.

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_00]: So these are the five points starting with setting your DER then second one is giving

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_01]: permission to your spouse. Third point is visible tracker fourth is rectification system and the

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_00]: fifth one is reward system. So these are the five points hope this particular podcast helped you

[00:07:04] [SPEAKER_00]: and keep listening to this podcast we hope we can be consistent on this podcast journey with you

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_00]: we are Ravi Tej and Amulya and we are signing off. Thank you.