episode 36: how to handle toxic people

[00:00:00] Hello lovely people, a warm welcome to another episode of Hina's Emo Wisdom Podcast. Well this is your Hina Ambareen Khan certified wellness coach, certified life coach, speaker,

[00:00:12] author, former soil scientist from Indian Institute of Science and in this episode let us dive deep into emotional wisdom of how you can handle toxic people. And today we are going to tackle this crucial topic and lend your ears.

[00:00:34] This is about empowering you with the knowledge and those tools that you need to navigate these challenging relationships with the toxic people. Okay first let me talk about what makes someone toxic.

[00:00:50] As you know we have heard this term very common existing in and around where every person says that person is so toxic or she is so toxic, he is so toxic. So what actually is this toxic behavior? Toxic behavior it can manifest in many ways.

[00:01:08] It can be constant negativity, it has manipulation, disrespect, lack of empathy. And when these individuals they often leave us feeling drained and anxious or we fear we are diminished.

[00:01:28] So when you are recognizing this behavior that is the first step towards taking control of the interactions with toxic people. Because I have encountered such people and I used to wonder why are they so?

[00:01:40] And then when I started researching on that it was like oh my god, narcissism, toxicity. Oh my god it was just a running chill in my spine. May God help all those who are suffering with that toxicity or with such kind of narcissistic behaviors.

[00:02:04] Because when you understand this, when you are aware of such nature and the behavior of the people then it becomes easier for you to have the clarity and take decision in life.

[00:02:16] Whether you want to be with such people or whether you want to distant yourself from them forever. Yes of course my dear people, when you are dealing with such people or when they are toxic people around you it impacts on the mental health very very badly.

[00:02:37] So when you are dealing with toxic individuals it is going to have a profound impact on the mental health and it's not uncommon to feel stressed, anxious or even depressed after interactions with them. They make you leave so pathetic, helpless, merciless.

[00:02:57] They put you on the pedestal, they again put you in the pit. I just imagine the behavior is like putting a fish into the water then again removing fish out of the water and watching that fish struggling and helpless and all that.

[00:03:16] Again putting back the fish into the water and fish is like oh god I just got the water now.

[00:03:21] I can't breathe, I can't breathe. So let me manage. Again showing that kind of water to the fish and again taking the fish away from the water and the fish wouldn't have even thought why is this behavior happening.

[00:03:35] In this misery the individual will succumb to mental disorder or to any other health disorder. You don't have to fear such people, they are very weak people let me tell you.

[00:03:50] They are so weak by nature because nobody should understand that they exist with that surmountable amount of fear in them so they try to operate and they try to make someone operate with fear. Take it from me. They will first learn your weaknesses.

[00:04:09] They will be very good to you first. They will put you on such a beautiful fantasy kind of world. You feel so good about yourself. Immediately they learn all your weaknesses and make you give all that information because many operate with emotions right?

[00:04:34] So they play with your emotions and after that they start utilizing you for their power. Their power is to put fear in you, the power is to make you feel miserable, the power is to make you feel helpless. Remember this. That is their power.

[00:04:53] If you are helpless, if you are operating in fear, if you are living at the mercy this is what they want. After that they again put you in the pit where you feel miserable, damaged, confused. You start doubting, what did I do?

[00:05:11] Yes I should not have done that. You start feeling guilty, they start blaming you, they start making you feel guilty. The guilt trap is so much every time you are blamed for everything anything happens. They disrespect, they yell, they show that victim life about themselves.

[00:05:27] They feel they actually portray in such a way that you are the villain or you are the vamp in their life. And you start hating yourself, oh I should not have done like this, I should have done in this way.

[00:05:38] And for that person to again to get back in the good books you do lot of things. You just try to fit into the cup and that's not possible and they will be enjoying from inside. They will be laughing like a monster from within.

[00:05:50] How look at this person, how miserable is that person feeling? How much this person is trying to please me? How much this person is fearing me? How much this person is so helpless because of whatever I am torturing and troubling? You understand?

[00:06:05] Again they show you that honey kind of things. They know how to trap you putting that honey. Again you get stuck to that honey. And the cycle continues, the cycle continues.

[00:06:17] You do not know whether to be or to leave, whether to be with them or to leave them. Because they make you leave confused. They make you doubt yourself, your worth even if you had been a very confident person,

[00:06:32] a very strong person when you are with them, when you get around with them, they will rip, rip I tell you, rip. Your confidence they will rip your strength and you become so weak you may challenge and say no, no, no I can't.

[00:06:49] I am not going to give up on my confidence, I will not give up on my strength, I am so powerful. What kind of a person is that if they feel intimidated by a toxic people, to say it's very easy when you encounter such people you will realize,

[00:07:02] yes what Hina had said is the fact, that's the reality. More than three years I had to do research on this. And still, you know because life is a lifelong journey, we are learners. I have been learning and learning and learning and implementing so many techniques

[00:07:25] so that I can help those people who are suffering because there are millions of people who are suffering with this toxicity. Look at their apathy. The thing is they have kids, if they are having kids they are scared, where will I go?

[00:07:42] If the parents are not supporting, if the in-laws are not supporting, nobody is supporting. If the women example I am giving, if she is suffering or a man is suffering, the man can handle in a different way because he will be supported in a different way.

[00:07:56] Yes there are so many men who will not be supported though and the majority is women who are suffering a lot in this. What I have observed. What I have observed. And in this what is happening though, women tries to get into her masculine energy.

[00:08:12] No I am going to do this, I am going to do that. By that time she feels and she tries to take some step again, the honey is burnt and she is trapped. She will get addicted to that.

[00:08:24] It's just like a drug, you know where you are addicted to that drug. And you want it, you crave for it. When that person acknowledges you feel everything is good. When that person makes you feel miserable, you feel yes this is miserable.

[00:08:41] You feel that is the most miserable thing in life. You don't feel the happiness. Years together go by in this behavior, please wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up whoever is going through this. Just wake up. Do not fall into their trap. They can't do anything.

[00:08:58] They are one of the weakest souls existing on this earth. They are the weakest soul. They can't do anything to you except damaging your mental health, damaging your worth, damaging your confidence.

[00:09:10] So when you are going to become aware of these things, don't give that power, just ignore them, ignore them, ignore them. Believe in yourself. Believe you are confident. The confidence comes when you have the courage to take the action.

[00:09:27] You got to take action in the name of having kids, in the name of something. And not just settle for this toxic behavior and ruin your life and ruin the life of the people around you.

[00:09:38] Because if your kids are watching, that's going to have a greatest impact on their minds. So think because of one person how many lives will be ending? How many lives will be impacted in a negative way? So better bid goodbye to such kind of toxic people. Okay.

[00:09:58] It's very essential to acknowledge these feelings, my dear friend, and understand it's okay to prioritize your well-being. Setting boundaries. One of the most effective way to handle toxic people is just by setting the clear boundary. This means being assertive about what behavior is acceptable and what is not.

[00:10:17] You have to. For example, if someone constantly criticizes you and you might say, I appreciate your feedback, but I would prefer if you could express it in a more constructive way. Remember, it's your right to protect your emotional space. You have to value your worth, your identity.

[00:10:38] If you are not valuing your worth and identity, no Tom Dickens Harry on this earth will value you. It's all up to you. Set the boundaries if you want to save your mental peace. If you want to save things in life, you have to set the boundaries.

[00:10:54] Very essential. If you do not put a gate or a fence in your place, then any animal, any robber can just easily enter. So you have to put some strongest boundary that they don't enter into it and take you for granted.

[00:11:12] Self-care practices, my dear friend, is very crucial when dealing with toxic relationships. Make time for activities that are going to rejuvenate you, whether it is reading, meditating, exercising, spending time with your loved ones. I know when you are being with them, you feel your world is doomed.

[00:11:31] That happens. It is a gloomy world. You don't feel happy or good about anything. It becomes difficult. You'll be struggling and suffering and asking, how will I get out of this? There are many who are simply settling down for this toxicity for some kind of living,

[00:11:48] thinking either of kids or something because they don't believe in themselves. If they believe in themselves, you may tell me, oh, it's very easy to say now who is going to make money for my kids?

[00:12:00] Who is going to help them in their education when you believe in yourself? Even from the zero, you can start your life provided you believe in yourself. Believe in the Creator. Trust in the Creator. Nothing is impossible. In your mind, you have made it impossible with your beliefs.

[00:12:25] And anybody, such toxic people will play with your belief system. When you practice this mindfulness, it will help you to stay grounded and manage stress more effectively. My dear people, don't hesitate to connect with me. When you are going to talk about your experiences with me, trust me.

[00:12:47] You will get that emotional support. Why have I specialized in emotional wisdom? Because so many are suffering, suffering and suffering in every aspect of life because they lack this emotional wisdom. They lack that confidence. This confidence is a lifelong journey. Wisdom is also a lifelong journey.

[00:13:12] When you learn these techniques, when you learn these aspects, you are going to implement it as the strongest weapons of your life when nobody can take you for granted. Empowerment and growth, when you are going to navigate the toxic relationships, it's very tough, I understand.

[00:13:35] But it is an opportunity for your growth. Why did God send such toxic people? Many people be getting the same kind of people in their life because you have not learned some lessons so you are getting back and back and back same people.

[00:13:49] When you learn to handle these situations, you become more resilient and better equipped to maintain healthy relationships. You have to embrace this journey of empowerment and know that every step you take is a victory. Let me share a story with you.

[00:14:07] I once had a colleague who was incredibly negative and critical. It took a toll on my student, who is my student's confidence and happiness at work. However, she decided to set some firm boundaries and communicate the concerns openly. Over time, the interactions also improved and she felt empowered.

[00:14:29] And yes, through my sessions, I was just helping her out how she can handle that situation. And this taught her the importance of standing up for herself and prioritizing her well-being and how to handle toxic people. My dear people, do not fear.

[00:14:47] Fear is one of the strongest imagination which makes you weaker just by being apprehensive. All is inside you. All is inside you. Become strong. Become. Do not get succumbed to this toxicity. You have the full right to live your life to the fullest. Believe in the Creator.

[00:15:13] Believe in yourself. From this scratch, you can start building a beautiful life. You have been used to so many years and to change that life, you may find it difficult. And instead of getting succumbed to this toxic relationship,

[00:15:28] it is better to struggle for few years and live a life where you can breathe. You are not breathing now if you are living in a toxic relationship. There's a lot more that I can say.

[00:15:42] Do join my sessions. Here I am to help you out because my mission and my purpose is to empower every single individual existing on this earth. My dear lovely people, I always pray that there is so much of abundance and happiness in everyone's life

[00:15:59] because Hina would love to see everyone being happy and abundant and empowered in their life. And once again in every podcast with the note of gratitude, I would like to thank all my students who have joined me listening to my podcast,

[00:16:18] who have enrolled into my sessions and who are in the verge of completing these sessions with me and the transformations that they are having in their life. The empowered souls they feel now, that's the biggest gift that I could ever get.

[00:16:36] I thank you my lovely people who are waiting in the list to join me and I have deep gratitude for you. Till then, see you, tata and bye-bye.