episode 17: how self perception shapes you

[00:00:00] A warm welcome to my lovely lovely people who are hearing to Hina's Emo Wisdom Podcast.

[00:00:05] This is Hina Ambareen Khan, certified wellness coach, certified life coach, speaker or former

[00:00:10] soil scientist from Indian Institute of Science.

[00:00:12] Well my dear lovely lovely people, every time whatever topic I come over with it's either

[00:00:18] resonating with your lives or it can be with the lives own experiences.

[00:00:26] So my mission and my purpose has always been to empower every single soul existing on this

[00:00:33] earth.

[00:00:34] So this podcast is about how you can be mentally strong actually that builds wisdom.

[00:00:44] So I'm going to give you certain quick tips so you can implement this and follow this

[00:00:49] and if you want to know more you can just DM me you can connect with me the way people

[00:00:53] are doing it so that I'm there to help you out.

[00:00:57] So when it is going to be having a mentally strong personality what do you do?

[00:01:06] First practice self awareness yes.

[00:01:11] When you spend time understanding your thoughts, your feelings and actions because most of

[00:01:18] the time we are more focused and concerned with the people's thoughts, people's actions

[00:01:24] right.

[00:01:25] We are trying to fix them more than trying to reflect on our thoughts and our feelings

[00:01:29] and our actions.

[00:01:30] When we try to reflect on our own thoughts, feelings, actions then it helps to know

[00:01:38] your strengths and weakness and this will help you to grow.

[00:01:45] You understand nobody can take advantage of you.

[00:01:49] Sitting the boundaries we have heard a lot, lot, lot through social media but many people

[00:01:53] they suffer this struggle to lay the boundary.

[00:01:59] And when you join me for the sessions I will teach you such a beautiful way and

[00:02:03] the techniques how you can lay the boundaries and so that you will be respected you

[00:02:10] will be loved for whatever you have done.

[00:02:13] You mentally strong people know how important it is to set limits in both the personal

[00:02:18] lives and the professional lives.

[00:02:21] They understand when to say no to things that are not good for them or it does not match

[00:02:27] their priorities.

[00:02:30] They protect the time, energy and mental health by sitting clear boundaries.

[00:02:34] It's very, very necessary that you set clear boundaries to guard your mental

[00:02:42] peace and to maintain good relations.

[00:02:45] And also embracing the challenges.

[00:02:51] Challenges are normal part of life.

[00:02:53] We have to take challenges as the opportunities to grow.

[00:02:58] Any challenge that is coming away it can be you know loss of the loved one or it

[00:03:03] can be in terms of having ill health or it can be in terms of financial laws or

[00:03:10] somebody who has betrayed or cheated anything that has come the way in anyone's

[00:03:15] life.

[00:03:16] Just take it as an opportunity that has taught you something and you have to grow

[00:03:20] from there.

[00:03:21] You can't have a stuck life.

[00:03:24] It's very difficult because we get attached to things, to situations, to

[00:03:28] circumstances and that attachment leads to a lot of pain.

[00:03:33] It's like something is glued for long and when you try to remove that

[00:03:37] everything comes along with that and it's like you know in a shattered way.

[00:03:41] Similarly, when you are attached very badly to something in someone in life to

[00:03:47] situations, circumstances or the people then you have to go through a lot of pain.

[00:03:52] So you have to have that wisdom where you can stop and move on.

[00:03:56] So as I said they are part of life challenges, are part of life and

[00:03:59] mentally strong people see it as a chance to grow.

[00:04:04] Instead of avoiding the problems, can you avoid the problems?

[00:04:07] Not at all.

[00:04:08] That is really insane.

[00:04:10] So what can you do?

[00:04:11] You can confront the problem with patience, lots and loads of patience is needed.

[00:04:19] Lots and loads of wisdom is needed and you're going to face them directly

[00:04:23] stepping out of your comfort zone, not going to over think about it.

[00:04:28] Just think this has come as a challenge in my life.

[00:04:30] This is teaching me something in my life.

[00:04:33] So I have to back up and move on and I have to be the best.

[00:04:39] Yeah, you are the best.

[00:04:40] You're simply the best.

[00:04:42] So you can't put yourself down because something has happened in your life, right?

[00:04:46] Because that's been my own experience when I lost my mom, I was so much

[00:04:50] devastated in life.

[00:04:51] I went into, I slipped into depression, my body was paralyzed

[00:04:56] and I was not in a position to move and it was such a pathetic condition.

[00:05:00] I had stopped even doing all those things what I was doing in a normal way

[00:05:05] and it was like I had lost my mental balance.

[00:05:09] You understand?

[00:05:10] But I was not getting that kind of moral support, but once I got into wellness

[00:05:14] it all helped me a lot by God's grace that I started helping people.

[00:05:19] You understand?

[00:05:20] So anything that comes your way is to teach you and make you strong.

[00:05:23] It's not to kill you.

[00:05:25] It's not to end your life.

[00:05:27] You understand?

[00:05:29] Okay?

[00:05:30] And practicing self-compassion.

[00:05:32] Mentally strong people, they are kind, they are understanding towards themselves.

[00:05:36] You can't be harsh upon yourself.

[00:05:37] Oh my God!

[00:05:39] I'm like putting on weight.

[00:05:40] I hate myself.

[00:05:41] I'm not like this.

[00:05:42] I'm not like that.

[00:05:43] You're always thinking to please someone and you're not going to fit into their cup

[00:05:47] and then you're cursing yourself.

[00:05:49] Yeah?

[00:05:50] So you should not do that.

[00:05:51] You're not there to please the world.

[00:05:53] Rather, you have to honor yourself in a proper way.

[00:05:57] And if something is not working out, do not beat up yourself to that level

[00:06:01] that you start hitting yourself.

[00:06:03] Okay?

[00:06:04] You know that the perfection isn't realistic.

[00:06:07] It is not my dear friends.

[00:06:08] Everybody has to get out of the ghost of that perfectionism.

[00:06:13] Everybody is haunting and hatching and surviving on it.

[00:06:16] It doesn't exist.

[00:06:17] It seriously doesn't exist.

[00:06:19] You have to accept the flaws.

[00:06:20] There is flaw in every person.

[00:06:23] You understand?

[00:06:24] Nobody comes with perfection.

[00:06:26] If that was so, we would have not survived here on this earth.

[00:06:29] We would have been living like angels.

[00:06:32] Yeah?

[00:06:32] But we should have kindness.

[00:06:34] We should have love for people.

[00:06:36] We should have a forgiving nature.

[00:06:38] We should be empathetic.

[00:06:40] All these things make us really wonderful humans.

[00:06:44] Okay?

[00:06:45] So when you are going to accept the flaws, that's part of being human.

[00:06:50] When you make mistakes or face the setbacks,

[00:06:53] it actually shows you compassion instead of being overly critical.

[00:06:59] Neither on yourself nor on others.

[00:07:02] You should have a growth mindset, my dear people,

[00:07:04] when you are having anger issues,

[00:07:06] when you are only talking about the past,

[00:07:08] living with the past, or you're judging someone.

[00:07:11] That's all a fixed mindset.

[00:07:14] Okay?

[00:07:15] So what do you have a growth mindset with?

[00:07:16] A growth mindset means believing that abilities and intelligence

[00:07:20] can improve with hard work and dedication.

[00:07:23] Okay?

[00:07:24] Mentally strong people have this mindset,

[00:07:27] seeing challenges as the chances to learn and grow.

[00:07:31] They don't fear failure but view it as part of learning,

[00:07:34] which is my own personal expedience.

[00:07:38] I had to go through a lot.

[00:07:42] Go through a lot.

[00:07:43] When I come up with my story, people will start shedding blood

[00:07:47] to your, so I don't want to do that.

[00:07:49] You understand?

[00:07:50] So yes, of course, my story is going to be an inspiration

[00:07:53] to every single soul so that they know that,

[00:07:57] nothing can stop them when they have the willpower

[00:07:59] to do something in life.

[00:08:01] Anything, all that odds, those challenges,

[00:08:04] whatever had come in the life like the wildfire

[00:08:08] was just to teach them so that they can know the strength,

[00:08:11] the power that was given to them by the creator.

[00:08:14] You understand?

[00:08:15] This is how I started to know myself better.

[00:08:19] Okay?

[00:08:20] So the next is you have to surround yourself

[00:08:23] with the positive influences.

[00:08:24] Mentally strong people, they choose the company very carefully.

[00:08:28] When you seek supportive and positive relationships,

[00:08:31] yes, you have people who are gossip mongers,

[00:08:33] yes, you have people who are always judging,

[00:08:35] yes, you have people who prance to believe others

[00:08:38] because what do you feel?

[00:08:40] If I'm going to be with these people,

[00:08:41] I will also be counted on.

[00:08:43] Otherwise, I'll be left alone.

[00:08:45] So in order to be with those people

[00:08:47] so that to seek attention, what are you going to do?

[00:08:50] You will be along with them.

[00:08:51] And what's happening?

[00:08:52] You're getting influenced by them.

[00:08:54] Okay?

[00:08:54] So when you are going to be influenced in a negative way,

[00:08:58] you are going to become part of them.

[00:09:00] You're going to reflect them.

[00:09:02] So better surround yourself with positive kind of people

[00:09:06] and distance yourself from toxic or harmful people

[00:09:09] who are going to drain your energy

[00:09:11] and weaken your mental strength.

[00:09:13] Be mindful because I have gone through all this

[00:09:16] where you can find on and off in your way,

[00:09:18] in this journey toxic people

[00:09:21] who are either going to put you down,

[00:09:23] who are going to judge you,

[00:09:24] who are going to always make you feel low about yourself.

[00:09:29] And actually it is sucking your life.

[00:09:31] It's like taking away your mental peace.

[00:09:34] So you have to be aware of such people.

[00:09:37] Practice gratitude.

[00:09:38] Just now I just told one of my client

[00:09:42] the importance of gratitude as per research,

[00:09:44] how well it works.

[00:09:45] It gives you good sleep.

[00:09:47] It keeps your hormones function in a good way

[00:09:50] and it also improves the positive energy

[00:09:53] and the feeling inside you.

[00:09:55] It attracts more of good things in your life.

[00:09:58] Gratitude has abundance of benefits

[00:10:02] if you understand in depth.

[00:10:03] If I talk, it is going to be ours together about this

[00:10:06] as per research.

[00:10:08] Mentally strong people regularly they focus

[00:10:10] on the good things in their lives,

[00:10:11] even during tough times.

[00:10:13] Every day you have to think about

[00:10:16] what you have to be thankful for.

[00:10:19] It can be for the breath,

[00:10:21] the oxygen that you're getting,

[00:10:24] the supportive friend.

[00:10:25] Either it can be the glass of water that you drank

[00:10:29] or that you woke up for the next day.

[00:10:31] Everything, everything because it has become so much used

[00:10:36] that we forget about whatever we have got.

[00:10:38] And we always like, oh I don't have this with me.

[00:10:41] I don't have that with me.

[00:10:42] Yes of course you have to work to get more

[00:10:46] but be grateful with what you have.

[00:10:48] That's the way of life.

[00:10:49] Work for getting more

[00:10:51] but being grateful for whatever you have or you had.

[00:10:55] You understand?

[00:10:57] The next what comes is

[00:11:00] my dear lovely people,

[00:11:02] prioritizing self care where we forget.

[00:11:04] Especially women, they forget this.

[00:11:06] Before marriage they want to attract the man

[00:11:08] and they try to groom themselves in such a way.

[00:11:10] After marriage after they deliver the children

[00:11:13] I have seen most, most women going through that.

[00:11:16] They forget about what they are.

[00:11:17] Their beauty is gone for a toss.

[00:11:20] And the crib, oh my man is not interested in me.

[00:11:22] He's looking for other woman.

[00:11:23] Yes he will look.

[00:11:25] He will look.

[00:11:26] He loved you for what you were before.

[00:11:28] Why don't you maintain that?

[00:11:29] Yes you would have put on weight

[00:11:30] but love yourself and try to focus

[00:11:33] how you can shed that weight easily.

[00:11:35] Have that energy, have that positive feeling in you.

[00:11:37] You're not less.

[00:11:38] You are simply the best.

[00:11:39] Always remember you are simply the best.

[00:11:42] It doesn't mean to say it's body shaming not at all.

[00:11:44] I don't know why the world has started.

[00:11:46] Oh I love my body even if I put on weight

[00:11:50] because it's body shaming no

[00:11:51] because excess weight,

[00:11:52] even five kilos of weight,

[00:11:54] one kilo forget five kilos.

[00:11:56] Even one kilo of excess weight

[00:11:58] will add more of pressure to your heart.

[00:12:00] It has to pump extra blood.

[00:12:02] Five liters of extra blood at a stretch it has to pump.

[00:12:05] Just imagine what is the condition of that poor heart.

[00:12:08] So you have to be mindful

[00:12:09] that you are not going to add excess weight to your body

[00:12:11] because that's health.

[00:12:13] You're prioritizing yourself.

[00:12:14] It's not that body shaming

[00:12:16] because obesity is next to cancer.

[00:12:18] So you have to maintain yourself,

[00:12:20] prioritize yourself.

[00:12:22] It can be your physical health,

[00:12:23] it can be your mental health,

[00:12:25] it can be your emotional health.

[00:12:27] This self-carement becomes a priority.

[00:12:30] It can be doing any activities.

[00:12:32] It can be any kind of physical or emotional strength.

[00:12:34] See to that doesn't mean to say

[00:12:35] you have to enroll yourself going for the gym, no problem.

[00:12:38] Just switch on some music, do some activities.

[00:12:41] Just like move your body, move your body.

[00:12:43] Do not do it without any trainer

[00:12:45] that you have to immediately start off

[00:12:46] with some heart things and you get inflates.

[00:12:48] Wow I want this kind of shape.

[00:12:50] Let me try this, let me try this.

[00:12:51] No don't do that otherwise you're going to harm yourself.

[00:12:54] Just some activities where your heart is pumping the blood

[00:12:57] where you get excess oxygen.

[00:13:00] You understand?

[00:13:01] That's really good for your health.

[00:13:03] Either meditate, sit in silence, move

[00:13:06] or even the day-to-day activities whatever you're doing.

[00:13:09] That is also good because you're moving your body

[00:13:11] rather than sitting and having this stagnant

[00:13:14] one hour you have done in the gym

[00:13:15] and the rest of that you're just sitting on the chair.

[00:13:17] That doesn't work.

[00:13:19] That seriously doesn't work.

[00:13:21] Because if you want your bones to be strong

[00:13:24] then you have to definitely have a body

[00:13:26] that is having the mobility

[00:13:29] and the thoughts whatever you're feeding into your mind

[00:13:31] that matter a lot.

[00:13:32] That's also self-care.

[00:13:33] The kind of people you're hanging around with.

[00:13:35] What is the influence that you're getting?

[00:13:37] That also matters a lot.

[00:13:38] So you have to be very mindful about these things.

[00:13:41] Managing emotions effectively.

[00:13:42] Mentally strong people they adapt,

[00:13:45] managing their emotions.

[00:13:47] They acknowledge the feelings

[00:13:49] without being overwhelmed by them.

[00:13:52] Mentally strong people adapt, managing their emotions.

[00:13:55] They acknowledge their feelings

[00:13:56] without being overwhelmed by them.

[00:13:58] They use healthy coping strategies

[00:14:01] to deal with stress and negative emotions.

[00:14:04] So you have to follow these certain tips

[00:14:07] that's been told to you.

[00:14:08] So this is going to be helpful to you

[00:14:10] just implement it in your life

[00:14:12] so that it helps you to feel empowered

[00:14:15] and you are living with wisdom.

[00:14:17] Thank you so much my dear lovely people

[00:14:19] for hearing Hina's ImmoVisdom podcast

[00:14:22] and stay tuned listening to Hina's Immo podcast.

[00:14:25] Well, my mission and purpose

[00:14:26] has always been to empower every single soul

[00:14:28] existing on this earth.

[00:14:29] So I will come up with most beautiful topic again

[00:14:32] so that helps you

[00:14:34] so that you can implement it in your life.

[00:14:35] Till then, take care, see you Tata and bye-bye.