In this thought-provoking episode, we explore the elusive nature of happiness and the common misconception that it can be found in external achievements or possessions. We delve into the importance of authenticity, vulnerability, and self-awareness in finding true contentment. Join us as we challenge societal norms and encourage listeners to embrace their true selves and tell their untold stories.
Until next time, keep spreading the sunshine!
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[00:00:03] Hey, hello sunshine and how has your week been? How have all of you all been this last week?
[00:00:10] You know, what if I tell you chasing happiness is futile? Because happiness is like a butterfly.
[00:00:19] The more you chase it, the more it'll elude you. And this is a quote by Henry David Theroux.
[00:00:27] We've all been there, haven't we? Thinking that we can search for happiness that is external to
[00:00:32] ourselves. We chase this and that hoping it's going to fill whatever void is there within us.
[00:00:39] And we hope that in that pursuit of happiness, we'll find it. And we'll remain what joyful and cheerful
[00:00:47] for the rest of our lives. The stark reality however is that we won't. And this is a brutal lesson to
[00:00:57] learn. In fact, if we ever get to learn from it. The truth is the happiness we so desperately seek
[00:01:05] is within us. Not in the things we collect, the constant hustle for money, the constant need to
[00:01:11] be busy and distracted and the constant desire to be popular. The truth is that we are taught that money
[00:01:19] and material things are far more important when they actually really aren't. We are taught that our
[00:01:27] relationships should be some sort of a fairy tale. You know, we are conditioned to believe that being
[00:01:33] vulnerable, speaking of pain and sadness and showing our authenticity is actually somehow a sign of
[00:01:42] weakness. Because remember, when you show up authentically, it can sometimes be messy. We are taught to get
[00:01:49] busy and distract ourselves and search for what makes us feel good, all in the hope that we may dismiss
[00:01:55] any uncomfortable feeling. And this is how we learn to actually run away from any negative feeling we have
[00:02:05] and continue on our fruitless pursuit for that elusive happiness. I mean, we don't want to make anyone
[00:02:14] else uncomfortable by being honest with our feelings now. Because like I said earlier, we've been
[00:02:20] conditioned to not show our true feelings, to always not show our weakness and not be vulnerable and
[00:02:27] authentic. You know, the reality is that we cannot always be happy and that's okay. Life happens and it's a
[00:02:35] roller coaster. We will face pain and sadness and betrayal and confusion and guilt and shame, loss and
[00:02:43] grief. We will have to move through this darkness as and when it's required of us. But deluding ourselves
[00:02:50] into thinking that these things can just be pushed aside and that we have to be constantly happy is not
[00:02:56] healthy either. Nothing will make you more miserable than lying to yourself and hiding how you really feel.
[00:03:05] And what's worse, running away from it and numbing yourself to emotions by either drinking your life
[00:03:11] away or smoking or looking at any other avenues to make yourself feel better, maybe keeping yourself
[00:03:19] overly busy. That's never the solution. I know so many people who say, you know what, it's easy for me to
[00:03:26] cope with this, I'll just plunge deep into my work. And what does that do to us really?
[00:03:32] Each one of us is always trying to fill that void when the truth is, happiness is not found in a better
[00:03:39] job or more money or a bigger house or more likes or more followers or a better body, a younger face,
[00:03:49] a bottle of wine, maybe a pill, a cigarette, more clothes, another pair of shoes, a new car or whatever
[00:03:57] else you think you need to make you happy. Yeah, I definitely agree that all of these things will give
[00:04:05] you a quick fix. You know, I mean, you will feel good about it for that temporary period of time.
[00:04:13] But then what will happen is, the next moment when that high kind of no longer lasts, you start searching
[00:04:21] for your next hit. And once all the gloss and the shine wears off, what are you going to do? And that's
[00:04:35] the thing when we try to fill our voids, isn't it? That it always needs to be filled. Have you ever
[00:04:43] wondered what is it that makes you happy? And the simple answer is you. You make you happy.
[00:04:53] Because you do the hard work on yourself, you face your own dark side. And believe me, we all have one.
[00:05:00] You tell the truth to yourself and those closest to you if you're lucky to have someone that you can
[00:05:05] really share your burdens and your sadness with or anything that you're feeling with. You stop sweeping
[00:05:13] things under the carpet and denying how you really feel. You show up for yourself with courage. You show up
[00:05:23] in a vulnerable manner. You show up for others when you need to. You stop looking for validation in others.
[00:05:29] You spend more time going within yourself. Stop looking and paying so much of attention to
[00:05:38] everything that's on social media for quick fixes and success at all costs. The problem is, the internet
[00:05:45] today is saturated with advice, which sometimes is more damaging than helpful. You know that we need to
[00:05:53] stop thinking that these new things will make us feel better, will make everything better. They won't.
[00:06:01] Stop comparing yourself to everyone else's reels. Stop living your life on social media.
[00:06:10] There will always be a reason to keep coloring inside the lines that you've drawn for yourself.
[00:06:15] It will be agonizing to leave behind what feels comfortable to pursue what's uncomfortable and to step into the unknown
[00:06:24] where all things that never existed are created. But Zara Neale Hurston writes,
[00:06:31] There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside of you.
[00:06:37] So here's to each one of us having the courage to show up, having the courage to tell our stories,
[00:06:45] to own our stories and live that beautiful life.
[00:06:51] Have a great week everyone and we'll speak to you again next week.
[00:06:57] Take good care of yourself and so much love to each one of you. Bye!