I understand

[00:00:03] Hey everyone, this is Voice with Warikoo, with my, or Ankur Warikoo. In this English podcast series, I cover a lot of things in this English podcast series. Career, relationships, personal finance, success, failure, and frankly, something else that comes to the time. Every week on Thursday, a new episode on your favorite podcast platform. Voice with Warikoo.

[00:00:28] I remember I was once at an event and there was a gentleman who asked me a very interesting and a very tough question. He said that I have ADHD, basically an attention disorder or attention deficiency disorder, and I struggle to read books. I just can't. I can't get myself to read books. But your content, they talk a lot about reading books, and whenever I come across that content, I don't feel included. So how should I deal with this?

[00:00:58] One, I really admired the tone of the question because it wasn't meant to accuse, it was meant to understand, which is always a wonderful start. And then I went on to share my opinion, which is solely my opinion. I said that if anyone ever tells you, I understand, it's a lie. No one understands what you're going through. No one understands what you are going through. We can only empathize or we have gone through something similar.

[00:01:25] We can look at you through the lens of our own experience, but we can never truly understand what you are going through. Which means it is not just unfair on the other person. It is also unfair on your own self to expect someone else to understand you. So here's the truth. I don't have ADHD. I have no idea or appreciation of your struggles.

[00:01:50] I am in no capacity to even imagine what you must go through in life on a daily basis. So I do not even know what it would mean to include you. Because to include someone, it needs to first identify what is missing and I don't know what is missing. I know theoretically, but I don't actually know what is missing. So if you keep wanting and waiting for the world to include you, you are being unfair to yourself.

[00:02:19] You're causing pain, feeling let down by the world and expecting them to understand. But here is what you could consider. Find your tribe, your community. They will still not entirely understand you, but they will come closer. So go on Facebook, Reddit and find groups for ADHD. In those groups lies someone who again does not understand you fully, but has a far better understanding of what you go through. Because they've been through a similar experience.

[00:02:46] Someone who wants to read books, but is unable to do so. And when they share how they deal with that, you will feel heard. Not entirely, but to a large extent. You'll at least not feel alone. You'll not feel singled out. And my response isn't true for just ADHD. It's true for life. We often expect understanding, rarely recognizing that no one is capable of giving it. We end up blaming them for it, which is unfair on them.

[00:03:13] And then we end up blaming ourselves for being the way we are, which is unfair to us. Instead, realize that there are people who have gone through or are going through similar experiences. And if they share how they managed, we would to some extent feel understood. Because we would then have understood ourselves through them. So we have to understand that we can never be truly understood. We can only be heard. All the best.