The Can Do Coffee Chat with Yesim Nicholson, an International Career Coach and Entrepreneur

[00:00:01] Hi dear Bro Studios I'm Gail Gibson, accredited Master Performance Coach, International Speaker, Podcast Host and Author. Known as The Can Do Coach, I thrive on enabling leaders to step up, shake it off and shine. Welcome to my podcast, The Can Do Way.

[00:00:27] My guests from across the globe have Can Do stories of growth, resilience and success to share. Tune in and be inspired by these individuals who have developed a strong Can Do approach. Each one of their stories is unique. Each one of their stories has a key message.

[00:00:50] In this episode of The Can Do Way, I'm delighted to be talking to International Career Coach and Entrepreneur and very good friend of mine, Yesim Nicholson, a true citizen of the world. She has followed her career span six countries and diverse industries.

[00:01:06] With her passion for innovation and connecting people, Yesim has been involved in a variety of interesting projects from launching the International Agriculture University in Tashkent, Uzbekistan to running her own marketing consultancy in Sydney. Most recently she has founded Yes Career Coaching which runs career change programs internationally

[00:01:31] and she is host of the podcast Your Big Career Move. So welcome to the show today, Yesim. Thank you very much. It feels very weird to be on the other side. I'm normally the one interviewing so this is feeling quite alien.

[00:01:47] That's lovely. It's good to be in the guest seat for a change, I'm sure because this is your chance to tell your story to my audience. So let's take a short walk first through your life. If you can give the listeners just a glimpse of your background

[00:02:06] and what led to and drives the passion for the work you deliver today? It's a really long story so I'll try and keep it short and sustained as I can. Thank you for the lovely intro, Gail.

[00:02:20] I guess my story starts where my mum and my dad, my dad from Turkey, my mum from England meet in a hotel in Germany where they were both working. That's where their love story starts. And then I guess basically they obviously got married,

[00:02:41] they had me and dad being in the hotel business. We moved around a lot so I was actually born in the UK because mum wanted to be close to her mum when she gave birth to me.

[00:02:55] But we were only here for six weeks and then we lived in Istanbul and then we were back in Germany and then we lived in Jordan and in Spain and Australia and many other places. So I guess I had a very nomadic upbringing

[00:03:12] and I guess that shaped a lot of who I have become as an adult. So that change and novelty sort of become part of, you know, it's like breathing to me. So yeah, that's it. And I guess, you know, like a lot of people I went to university

[00:03:33] and I didn't really know what I wanted to do so I thought I'll do something quite generic but that'll help me get sort of, you know, a generic kind of job. So I studied international management with German and BAF

[00:03:46] and like so many of my peers, I went into a corporate job because it felt like that was... It didn't feel like it was the only option but it was certainly the expected option. So I went into corporate and worked for a big multinational American company

[00:04:07] and did that for a few years. But it's funny because I always had this vision even back then when I was in my early 20s of sitting at a dinner party in my sort of 70s, 80s and the person next to me saying

[00:04:24] what have you done with your life? And what it did used to be here was that I would say I worked for this one big multinational all my life like it was a really deep rooted fear.

[00:04:38] And what I wanted to be able to say was I did this and I did that and I failed at this but I succeeded at that but bloody heck, it was a really... It was a rollercoaster ride and I'm so glad I had all these experiences.

[00:04:53] So that's kind of how I've been trying to live my life just grabbing it by the horns and just having as many awesome experiences as possible. Wonderful, wonderful. And I can just hear it in your voice, you know that inspiration from your parents to who gave you

[00:05:12] that first taste of change but also of the fact that when you move you find a way, don't you? And I love how you brought that to a close with the dinner party question and I'm sure I have no doubt you probably use that

[00:05:30] in your coaching as well but it's a really great pause moment for all of us to reflect on for listeners to think what have you done in your life? Imagine you were at that dinner table as well and thinking, what have you done? What does it look like?

[00:05:48] What have you done to maybe help other people? What have you done to continue your learning? What have you done in your lifetime? It's a great, a great changer and probably was a game changer too for you. So let's just come on to finding out

[00:06:04] on this journey of yours, you know we have champions that come into our life at all different stages but there's probably one who sits there at the start of your journey somebody who you remember fondly and who was that first champion for you

[00:06:22] and how did they champion you to become the person you've become today? Well I think I feel quite lucky because I've had lots of champions over the years like I said we've moved around and lived in lots of different places and invariably along the way

[00:06:41] I've met people who sort of cheerleaded me along the way for sure but I guess the constant ones are my parents and obviously they've always encouraged me but they've always set an amazing example as well so it's funny because when I look at my mum's career

[00:07:02] she's this extremely capable person who probably not intentionally at all but has showed me throughout my life that you can adapt to any situation so because of dad's job we did move a lot and every time we moved she would just find another job to do

[00:07:22] and you know she's done everything she's been the manager of a golf club she's taught English she's worked in an oil trading company I mean she's done the whole lot and I think like I said it was never intentional but I think just the fact that

[00:07:40] she was a great role model in that respect that you can adapt, you can change you can educate yourself you can become whatever you need to be in that situation you find yourself in so I think that was definitely she's been a role model

[00:08:00] but I come from a strong line of quite strong women we have lots of entrepreneurs in our family so I look up to them and take inspiration from them for sure and you know like my great-grandmother for example on my dad's side

[00:08:19] she was Turkey's first female prime minister when Turkey became a republic and so I think I'm very fortunate that I come from families that have this entrepreneurial courageous spirit it is a courageous spirit as you say that whole can-do mindset and your parents have beautifully

[00:08:46] led the way as have their previous generations but you know there's probably people listening today who are thinking but I don't have those kinds of guides in my life, those people who have shown me that opportunity to get up and move and be able to learn to adapt

[00:09:08] what would you say to somebody who perhaps is not in that kind of lifestyle and yet they would like to step out and become more flexible become more adaptable to their own current situation what are your words of wisdom to share?

[00:09:27] I don't know if they're words of wisdom but I think the first thing that springs to mind is I think having the desire is the first step right so I think just having that desire is a brilliant thing so once you've identified that you do have this desire

[00:09:42] to do something that's perhaps slightly out of the ordinary to people in your direct environment then it's sourcing and seeking out those role models and they don't necessarily have to be an aunt, a mum, a neighbour they can be people that you see in the media

[00:10:02] they can be authors they can be fictional characters maybe from a Disney movie it doesn't really matter and I think we can find inspiration anywhere so I think finding those role models even if we just take slithers of somebody's personality or a career

[00:10:23] or something that really appeals to us taking that and using it as our guide and inspiration then I think it's always possible to find a coach there are hundreds of coaches out there there are people out there that are happy to mentor you once you've got that will

[00:10:44] you just have to then surround yourself be very, very deliberate about surrounding yourself with the right people who will become your cheerleaders for sure Fantastic, thank you for sharing that for the listeners and that kind of really leads me on to

[00:11:01] the next question I want to ask you people may be listening as well and thinking wow but everything has seemingly fallen into place for yes, I'm on her journey she's been able to do all this travel she's learned how to adapt she's gone and lived and worked internationally

[00:11:18] and now she's an entrepreneur herself and she's running her own business she's coaching people and she's also a host of a podcast but is it really that easy? Is there a time when you or one experience that you could share with the listeners

[00:11:37] that was a big time of change for you that posed quite a challenge and how did you work through that and move forward from that sticking point that you were going through? Yeah, I mean you know definitely things haven't just landed on my lap at all

[00:11:56] that's the first thing to say I'm very deliberate about things that I want to create in my life and then going and doing it but I mean you asked me about particular moments and perhaps this wasn't the moment but it's certainly a moment that's stuck in my head

[00:12:17] so if you're happy for me to share a little story Please do When I was about 11 years old we moved to Antalya in the south of Turkey and I went to a Turkish school and I didn't speak a word of Turkish at that point

[00:12:35] despite having a Turkish father because we'd been living elsewhere and I think in my first week of school I had a music lesson and my music teacher who didn't speak English somehow I don't know how conveyed to me

[00:12:53] the fact that I needed to learn the Turkish national anthem by the lesson the following week and so I went home in absolute floods of tears because I don't even speak the language never mind being able to sing you know

[00:13:08] a national anthem in this language that I didn't speak so again I guess we were very fortunate in that because dad was a hotel manager and there happened to be a pianist in the hotel who took pity on me was the only way to put it

[00:13:24] and bless him he was this wonderful older gentleman he spent a whole week with me practicing every day he was just phenomenal and I went back the next week and I stood in front of I don't know a classroom of you know new friends

[00:13:43] I didn't even really know them yet at that point and I sang the Turkish national anthem after I sang it I turned around and looked at my teacher he was just sitting there with his mouth wide open couldn't believe it and then it was only afterwards

[00:13:59] when I finally learned the language and so on and I was much more part of the school and the community that every time he passed me in the corridor with somebody he would stop me and he'd go

[00:14:11] this is the girl that learned the Turkish national anthem in a week and I was so proud of me and it turned out that he never actually expected me to learn it he just thought it was funny to challenge me in that way

[00:14:21] but the reason I tell this story is because you know it seemed totally impossible for me as a little 11-12 year old girl to learn a song in a different language I mean it felt completely impossible but I think you know with the help of

[00:14:39] kind strangers and a bit of determination you can do anything I think that and many other experiences like that that happened to me just made me realise that we might think that something seems impossible at first but you just have to put your back into it

[00:14:57] and just try your best and I think that's subconsciously that's how I live my life now I just do stuff it might seem like an obstacle but just do it Exactly, exactly and your thoughts I share the word obstacle I think that a lot of people create

[00:15:21] the obstacle or the idea of the obstacle being something much much bigger than it really is and even you as a young child you had in your direct vicinity access to that piano teacher but when you think about it now you think all these things were all steps

[00:15:41] in the right direction for you to be able to sing and become known as the child who learnt to sing the Turkish National Anthem in a week but it's still we can all as adults we can look at that and think if we focus on the obstacle

[00:15:58] we're never going to see any of the opportunities whereas if we put, as you and I do we put our can-do hats on and we say what is the way that we can find around it through it over it how can I eliminate that obstacle from stopping me

[00:16:15] from moving forward and I think that's a really key key lesson for everyone to take away from your wonderful story that you shared as you've gone through life and you can reflect on that story in other situations as you said and go through that sticking point

[00:16:35] what are some of the first things that you noticed about yourself when you were fully embracing that change and you were starting to to let it roll out as momentum rather than being a stopper along the way I mean I think it feels good I know that's

[00:16:53] possibly sounds a bit weird but I think there's just that sense of satisfaction isn't there if you just breaking whatever that obstacle is down into chunks and maybe don't approach it as one big mountain that you have to climb but just go

[00:17:13] I'm just going to climb the first 10 steps of this mountain and see how it goes and then oh actually I think I can do another 5 actually now I've got enough energy to do another 10 I think it is it's just that sense of and focusing on that rather than

[00:17:33] the big mountain that you're trying to climb it's just focusing on the little steps that you're achieving along the way yes beautiful even now when I'm trying to get a new project off the ground or something like that I have this practice where every evening

[00:17:53] I take a note of a reminder that comes up on my phone and I take a little note of the little wins that I've had that day towards achieving my goal and it might be something ridiculous as I don't know

[00:18:07] making it up I spoke to Gail and she said oh what a wonderful project you're working on you know I mean that's a silly example perhaps but even those little things little words of encouragement I don't know an email that came in or just little signs that

[00:18:23] you experience throughout the day just jotting those down and focusing on those rather than oh no that didn't go well and oh you know gosh this is too difficult or whatever because it's very easy to just focus on all the things that are too difficult and not working

[00:18:41] and I think as human beings that's our natural default isn't it to focus on all the things that aren't going quite our way so it's you have to be quite deliberate and intentional I think about having that mindset shift a lovely little practice to think about as well

[00:18:59] because for each one of those little wins that you can tick off you're eliminating another part of that obstacle so you're chipping away at any obstacle that's in your path so you can get up the next day with that full intention to focus on well what's the little

[00:19:19] step you're going to take today as you said rather than trying to get to the top of the mountain straight away it's what can I do a little bit differently tomorrow or who do I need to speak to or what do I need to think about

[00:19:31] for myself etc etc so that's a brilliant little habit that the listeners can take away and perhaps practice in their own lives as well so you know on this journey that you've had yesim and the work that you do today like me being a coach is very

[00:19:51] a lot of mind energy that gets taken from us and shared with others and we need to recharge and reset ourselves so what is it that you do to really look after yourself so that you can be resilient you can come back with that can-do mindset in all

[00:20:13] of what you do your habits your behaviours as a coach as a mother and a person in life what's your go to for resilience it's taken a little while because I think especially when you become a parent you I think naturally become a little bit selfless

[00:20:40] because you're focusing on raising this human being this other human being that you're fully responsible for I think for a while I wasn't doing that but now I'm unapologetically well into my self-care indeed I knew you'd appreciate that because I know you're very good at it too

[00:21:06] so it's and the reason I say I'm unapologetic about it is because I'm a selfish horrible person at all in fact I think kind of the opposite I think the better rested I am, the better rested my brain is the better I can be for my family

[00:21:26] my friends, my clients but you know the person in the street I'm not going to have road rage I'm not going to you know whatever so I think that you know I prioritize my exercise being outside meditation my husband takes the mickey out of me quite a lot

[00:21:46] because I will everyday say I'm just going to go and meditate and he goes oh yeah that's another word for snoozing isn't it darling and sometimes it is a snooze but again I'm not going to apologize for that

[00:21:58] because a power nap to me is like the best thing ever it's like a little recharge of the battery and we all need that you know I don't care who you are we all need to recharge our batteries and while people would say that's a very selfish act

[00:22:12] to me that's completely non-negotiable now because I want to show up as the best version of me and that's how I do that fantastic I love that unapologetic and you are being selfless towards yourself and others because when you do look after yourself

[00:22:34] you can show up the best for others as well so you have the energy the joy comes through the happiness in you because you've looked after yourself and it's the best possible start to anyone's day is to know that especially mum but also

[00:22:50] the coach that you're sitting down and talking to looks after themselves so that they can be present and be energised to really support you and guide you through whatever challenge you're facing so thank you so much for that and keep doing it too it's a wonderful practice

[00:23:08] to have as a routine in your life so we come to the time in the show somewhere I'd love you to share those three can-do tips that you live by that will inspire the listeners yeah sure I've just done some notes

[00:23:24] because I'm not very good at remembering things so the first tip I have is I think we all have a voice in our head that tells us every now and again that we can't do something we're not good enough etc and I think some people are better at

[00:23:44] dialing down that voice than others but we all have it to some extent and I think being able to dial it down is a skill that you can learn so I think it's just paying attention to whenever that voice turns up and just telling it to zip it

[00:24:02] there's a cartoon called Luca like an animation movie and one of the little boys he calls his inner voice Bruno and he says it's based in Italy so it's a silenzio Bruno and I'm like that's so cool you know so I use that for myself

[00:24:20] sometimes because I have I'm human I have the voice that goes yesh and what the hell are you doing what makes you think that you're qualified to do this and I just I'm just like you know what I just need to turn that voice down

[00:24:36] but it's but it's something that you have to learn and it's definitely something I've learned to do over the years so it's not something that you just switch on one day and then you never have a negative voice in your head again

[00:24:48] at all it's something that you need to work on daily and the second tip I have is using visualization I remember my dad talking to me about this years ago he got me into NLP actually my mom and dad they're trainers now my mom's

[00:25:08] a coach she trains coaches actually so you can see how I've ended up where I am but visualization I think there's this thing where where they say you experience things three times so you experience once leading up to the event then the actual event

[00:25:26] and then your memory of the event and I think taking time to spending time on visualizing how you want that event to turn out is really really powerful so I don't know if you're going to have a meeting with somebody

[00:25:46] and I think if you take time to just really visualize what you want the outcome of that meeting to be it's just so powerful it sounds so woo woo but it really works so I think that's my second thing is if you have this

[00:26:02] if you need to give yourself a can do attitude is just visualize how you want things to look and how you think one things to end up and my third one and I'm going to get my husband to listen to this because this is something that

[00:26:18] we always joke about with him he over things things a lot and and I think overthinking things can make you then not take action it's the whole paralysis by analysis thing isn't it I think sometimes if you have a strong vision and you have

[00:26:38] even a rough idea of how you want to get there then you just have to you just have to not swear you just have to do it so I think that's my third one is just don't overthink it you know have a rough plan

[00:26:52] have a very clear vision and then just take the first step fantastic fantastic I love all three of those so telling that voice in your head to zip it visualizing how you want an outcome to be and overthinking stifles any of that possibility so it's a really

[00:27:14] really great can do tips that I know you must live and breathe by and obviously now your husband will be too in your life so little does he know and so my final question for you today is how would you describe the opportunity of a can do mindset

[00:27:34] the opportunity of a can do mindset I mean I think it's endless you know I think we live in a really fortunate time don't we where you can set up a business and literally half a day it's very different to even 50 maybe even 20 years ago you know

[00:27:54] I think we have all the knowledge we could ever want to need at our fingertips I think we live in a very very fortunate time where we can do whatever we want within reason and I think obviously there are people living in less fortunate circumstances but

[00:28:14] if you're living in a country that's a democracy and you've got some level of education the world you're oyster there's just nothing to stop you from doing anything apart from the voice in your head and now you know how to zip it so we can

[00:28:32] throw that key away so that it leaves us for good thank you so much for entertaining us today with your wonderful can do story it's been a pleasure to hear your journey and I know that your story and the little tips and the habits that you've shared

[00:28:52] will really inspire the listeners to perhaps be asking themselves that dinner party question today and say well what have I done with my life just imagining that they are 70 years old and reflecting on what has happened and what has taken place but thank you so much for

[00:29:12] being our guest today yes and on the can do way it's been my pleasure and maybe now I'll be even more empathetic towards my guests when they're on my podcast it's quite daunting being on this side so thank you for so much for the experience

[00:29:28] I really appreciate it oh you're most welcome it's been a delight thank you thank you for listening to my podcast the can do way do you live and breathe since 2019 my podcast has gifted listeners across the globe access to an incredible selection of guests with stories to refresh

[00:29:50] your perspective bring you joy and inspire can do positivity always curious and with an insatiable appetite for a good yarn I invite you to be a guest on my weekly show if you have an inspiring perspective a life changing experience or an intriguing story to share

[00:30:10] then drop me an email at gailmgibson.com until next week's show do share the inspiration of the can do way podcast with your friends, colleagues and clients and wherever you are listening from in the world remember to make every day an amazing can do day

[00:30:35] raising canes iced tea is the official iced tea of me iced tea now I've heard some people don't order iced tea with their box combos I've also heard some people spontaneously combust sip on that for a while raising canes chicken fingers one love