#1106 - How To Handle Shame About Sexual Desires? | Personal Growth

[00:00:07] Welcome to the podcast, Sadhguru Of Mystics and Mistakes.

[00:00:13] Sadhguru, I have very strong sexual urges and this makes me feel ashamed. How do I overcome this?

[00:00:23] Your existence, you're actually a sexually transmitted disease, you know. It is the basics of life. You were born because of that, I'm saying.

[00:00:43] Not your sexuality, somebody else's. So, we are born out of that. Should we end with that? That's a question.

[00:00:57] It is not about right and wrong. It is not about morality. It is about the limited nature of what it is.

[00:01:09] Do you want to be stuck in it forever? Or do you want to think this is all bad, I don't want to touch it?

[00:01:18] No. I would say, for at least thirty to forty percent of the human beings, it is only a passing thing within themselves.

[00:01:31] But because of social culture, they all believe they must go in that direction.

[00:01:39] There may be another thirty-forty for whom it's very compulsive need. Another thirty-forty percent, medium, they like.

[00:01:48] They need it but not so compulsively. This is the nature of the population. I'm saying this with certain absolute sense of perception about this.

[00:02:00] Not everybody is on it all the time. But today, society is cultivating them like this. If you are not it, you are not normal.

[00:02:10] So, what you are essentially saying is, all the yogis of the past were not normal. Gautam Buddha was not normal. Nobody was normal except those who are on the pornography sites.

[00:02:29] Nobody was normal except those who are on the pornography sites. No, this is highly exaggerated sense of physicality.

[00:02:37] There is a physical body. It has come into existence only because of somebody's sexuality, isn't it?

[00:02:44] So, sex is a fundamental instinct in the body is one thing. It residing in your mind is another thing.

[00:02:54] That is happening because of a certain level of culture around you. That is happening because of somebody told you it is a sin, you should not think about it.

[00:03:04] It is just that there is a dignified way of conducting it. For that we created institutions, we created a certain level of commitment.

[00:03:17] Because there is a fundamental need within a human being to conduct every aspect of our life with some sense of aesthetic.

[00:03:25] Otherwise, we will feel like animals. See, we eat. We can eat like this. When you are very hungry, you become like an animal.

[00:03:36] If you have not eaten for five days, you will eat like that with both hands. Like how… Have you seen how a hungry dog will eat?

[00:03:43] Ha, ha, ha, ha, like that. A human being also will behave like that when the need becomes like that.

[00:03:53] Now, the same. But now we learn to sit properly. When you are very hungry…

[00:04:04] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

[00:04:11] Some brahmachari is showing you his lung power.

[00:04:14] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

[00:04:32] You would have done three ohms by the time he finishes ohm.

[00:04:37] Om, om, om, om. Because when something is very needed for you, just if you wait two minutes, you will see what is compulsive becomes conscious.

[00:04:57] Food, sex, sleep and death. These are four things which are compulsive.

[00:05:06] A human being distinguishes himself or herself from animal nature just by conducting these aspects of life also consciously.

[00:05:19] That is when. If you do these things like any other creature on the planet, the moment you see somebody like that you say,

[00:05:28] it's like animal, isn't it?

[00:05:31] So, instinctually there is a certain compulsiveness. But you have an intelligence which can make you conscious and conduct that aspect of life consciously.

[00:05:42] If you don't do that, then you see every day you are hearing about rapes and brutality and all kinds of things.

[00:05:54] It's the same desire he has that any other man has.

[00:05:58] But he cannot conduct it in an aesthetically correct way, in a dignified way that his compulsions overtake his intelligence.

[00:06:09] So, first thing is leave this nonsense about it being a sin, it being wrong, morality. That's not the point.

[00:06:19] The important thing to understand is the limited nature of what it is.

[00:06:23] There are many people who cannot stop eating. Hello?

[00:06:35] It's just a good thing about eating is if you can't stop eating, it will be immediately noticed by everybody who did not see you eating also.

[00:06:47] Similarly, there are some people with sexuality. There are some people who fall asleep wherever they are.

[00:06:54] Satsang is a good place. It's happening. It's okay.

[00:07:05] So, this is the fundamental thing. These basic instincts that we have in our bodies of food, sex, sleep and death,

[00:07:23] when you conduct these four things consciously, that is when you are a human being, including death I am saying.

[00:07:32] That is when you are a genuine human being. Otherwise, it's an evolutionary lapse.

[00:07:39] So, what can I do, Sadhguru? It's evolution. No, no. That is the whole thing. Once you become a human being, evolution is by choice.

[00:07:50] Will you evolve or will you not? When you are a monkey, you did not choose to become human.

[00:07:57] But once you become a human being, what kind of human being do I want to be is your choice.

[00:08:04] At a certain moment of compulsion, you may think I don't have choice. No, you have choice.

[00:08:09] You have not learned how to exercise that choice. Still instincts are there, but you can conduct it by choice, not by compulsion.

[00:08:21] That's the difference. All of you are born out of sex, but should you live for this for the rest of your life? This is a choice.

[00:08:30] This is a choice. It is an element of your body. It is not the whole of it. It is an element of who you are.

[00:08:38] It is not the entirety of who you are. Essentially, it is a longing. What we long for can be transformed, isn't it?

[00:08:51] When you were a child, you were longing for a peppermint. As you grew up, you long for something else.

[00:08:56] Right now, you're a young adult, you're longing for something. But longings keep changing, isn't it?

[00:09:02] This longing, will it change by the compulsions of time or will it change by choice, by conscious choice?

[00:09:13] It is not about you must give up this, you must give up that, you must become like this, you must become like that.

[00:09:19] There are also ways for that, that one who wants to transcend can transcend. It is not a giving up.

[00:09:26] If you transcend, you are free from everything. But the most important thing is even when you are in it,

[00:09:35] are you a conscious choice or are you a compulsive animal? This is a thing because the essential difference between a human being and animal is

[00:09:45] their instinctive reaction to life. We are a conscious response to life. Exercise that. It's all right.

[00:09:54] You don't have to feel guilty. You don't have to feel, oh, I'm sexually driven so I'm not spiritual.

[00:09:59] You're driven so you can make it into the spiritual process.

[00:10:04] Instead of being driven, if you become the driver, that is the spiritual process.

[00:10:11] You want to be driven by something or you want to be the driver?

[00:10:16] If you are the driver, that is the spiritual process.

[00:10:18] I will never be the driver, I will never be the driver, it will be the driver…

[00:10:18] AssociateDS удобis for you all.

[00:10:20] Thank you.

[00:10:20] I would love you, my God.

[00:10:20] Let us go.