Stay tuned, stay compassionate and always be kind to yourself.
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Until next time, keep spreading the sunshine!"
[00:00:00] Living life constantly avoiding anything that might make one look like a bad, imperfect or unlikable person is a people pleaser's worst nightmare. Because every people pleaser knows that being disliked or disapproved of feels worse than ignoring their own feelings. At least at first.
[00:00:26] You know there are some people who are easy to please. A kind gesture or smile is all it takes and getting their approval makes a people pleaser happier. But then there are also a set of people who are difficult to please.
[00:00:41] The more you do for them, the more chances that they will treat you like an old unwanted rag. And sometimes people who have a tendency to pleasing people all the time endure the struggle silently endure the struggle to keep getting that validation.
[00:01:01] No matter how unhappy it makes them, somehow they still want to make everyone around them feel better wanting to see them happy even if it's at their own expense. But when does this stop? It stops when you finally start asking yourself some very pertinent questions.
[00:01:22] What will become of me and myself worth if I keep basing it on people's perceptions? Who will love and respect me if I'm not taking a stand for myself? You know the fact is and the complete truth is that the only concept that matters is the
[00:01:41] concept of who I need to be in order to gain the love and acceptance. And that's something that only you can answer. You know sometimes people please us truly believe that living selflessly is a surefire way to get love, appreciation, respect and a lot of hugs in return.
[00:02:03] It takes a while to realize that living this way is actually having the opposite effect. Our constant selfless giving and kindness doesn't automatically mean that everyone is going to eternally and forever accept us. It is actually an invitation for people sometimes to take advantage of our generosity allowing
[00:02:27] them to feel like they have a certain power over us and that leads to more anxiety in a people pleasers life. And people pleasing isn't the way to win love and respect. The truth is that understanding we are responsible for our happiness is the most important thing.
[00:02:47] We try to please other people so we can feel worthy of love and acceptance. By changing ourselves to become who everyone wants us to be, we don't realize that we make ourselves less desirable.
[00:03:03] If we want to make these changes in our lives, if we want to stop this people pleasing pattern that we seem to be caught up in, we have to stop basing our sense of worthiness
[00:03:12] on what other people's approvals mean to us or what other people's approval will do to improve our lives. You know I read this beautiful article the other day and I made a few points which I'd like to share with all of you.
[00:03:27] And this is what the article said, you aren't treating yourself with love and respect when you regularly do things for others that they are avoiding doing for themselves. You aren't treating yourself with love and respect when people violate your boundaries and you don't speak about it.
[00:03:44] You aren't treating yourself with love and respect when you say yes to something but really want to say no! You aren't treating yourself with love and respect, when you internalize others' dissatisfaction and take it on as your own problem.
[00:04:00] You aren't treating yourself with love and respect when you hurt yourself in order to make others happy. And this is true isn't it? And so I'd like to leave each of you and maybe a reminder to each one of us actually to free
[00:04:14] ourselves from the longing to have people see you, validate you, like you, accept you, love you, adore you. Remember and always remember that you are enough. Have a great week everyone and we'll speak to you again next week. So much love to all of you. Bye for now.