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[00:00:00] Hi, this is Rishabh and this is Vanita. Welcome to Connect The Dots podcast where we want to discuss facts of life to help the next generation.
[00:00:09] Some of the topics we will be discussing about here are parenting, schooling, talents, life hacks, new trends, travel mindset and more.
[00:00:18] Hey Rishabh, yesterday we both were having a conversation about something to do with emotions and how you handle it when you're kind of in a toxic kind of mood
[00:00:31] and you feel like you're affected by other people's emotions etc. So you give a very powerful analogy to actually overcome the problem of not being able to handle toxic people.
[00:00:48] Usually what happens is when we have somebody bothering us, we end up going into loop-to-loops about what they said and how they reacted and how it's irritating us, how it hurts us, how it's just so unacceptable.
[00:01:05] But what Rishabh said yesterday was something that I think I was able to just implement right off the bat and feel much better.
[00:01:14] So over to you Rishabh.
[00:01:17] So the analogy I made was pick up the gold coins, not the rocks.
[00:01:26] So how this analogy works is most people, they like to dwell in this type of gossip and what is it called?
[00:01:40] They feel like continuously talking bad about this person.
[00:01:45] Yeah, it's just called negativity and feeling little overcome by negative emotions.
[00:01:56] So most of you guys might be just picking up those rocks but I need you to start picking up the coins.
[00:02:09] Let me tell you why. This is how the rocks come on the beach.
[00:02:17] The rocks are other people's problems.
[00:02:21] Think of the rocks as other people's problems and the coins are brand new, they are positive.
[00:02:35] They are like the blessings that you have, they are like the things that you can be grateful for, the gold coins.
[00:02:41] Whereas the rocks are other people's problems, other people's emotions, other people's judgments, other people's thoughts and opinions.
[00:02:50] So that's the rocks.
[00:02:52] So this is how this works.
[00:02:57] When everybody started off in this human race, there was only gold coins.
[00:03:09] But there's something called the peak age.
[00:03:13] When you touch 60, your gold coins tend to start aging.
[00:03:20] So you should keep drop and when the gold coins age they become rocks like your problems.
[00:03:29] Because in the peak age, you keep thinking about all your problems and what you haven't accomplished and all that kind of stuff.
[00:03:38] Between 60 and 70.
[00:03:43] So your job there is to just keep dropping the rocks and only keep gold coins in your stash.
[00:03:54] But other people who come on the track tend to pick up those rocks and get that person's personality and his problems,
[00:04:05] which is like a virus.
[00:04:08] So if you want to proceed, stop picking up the black rocks that are on your way, right?
[00:04:18] Because that's somebody else's problems.
[00:04:21] And these black rocks are people.
[00:04:27] Some people who are toxic or something like they hurt you bad.
[00:04:34] You like to dwell over that, right?
[00:04:37] So those rocks are from...
[00:04:41] You said something very powerful about a person getting pleasure over dwelling on those negative emotions of people that they hurt.
[00:04:52] They got hurt by it.
[00:04:54] That is true Rishabh.
[00:04:56] I mean in a way it's easy to be negative but it's very difficult to be positive.
[00:05:00] And once you get the juice of the gossip and you want to be stuck in there,
[00:05:07] it makes you want to be continuously there Rishabh.
[00:05:11] It just doesn't let you come out of it.
[00:05:13] But this thought of actually not focusing on the rocks
[00:05:18] and what Rishabh said sometime back, I feel it is very powerful because as we age,
[00:05:24] see when we are young we are very susceptible to learning a lot of things
[00:05:29] and we are emotionally more stronger when we are young than when we are old.
[00:05:34] So at the young age if we are used to picking only gold coins
[00:05:39] and conditioning our mind to only be grateful for what we have
[00:05:42] and focusing on the positive, I know it's easier said than done.
[00:05:46] But if we get used to this habit then when we grow old, maybe 60 and 60 above that,
[00:05:52] even when we get grumpy because of our old age and disease and whatever,
[00:05:57] this mental conditioning of picking up gold coins only will help us perform better at that age.
[00:06:04] So if 90% people are watching soap operas on TV, watching serials
[00:06:09] and just engaging in gossip and wasting their time
[00:06:13] just talking about the family issues and how this person told this to me,
[00:06:18] how this person reacted like this etc. etc.
[00:06:21] Those conversations are absolutely of no use.
[00:06:24] However, 10% of the people who have conditioned themselves in their childhood years
[00:06:30] and in the middle age to be positive, when they grow old,
[00:06:35] they are more mature emotionally to handle these kind of problems
[00:06:39] and they are at a point or at a place where such kind of things don't affect them very easily
[00:06:46] as against the others.
[00:06:47] So did I convey it correctly Rishabh?
[00:06:49] Yes.
[00:06:50] So that's picking up gold coins instead of the black rocks for you guys.
[00:06:55] I hope you like this episode.
[00:06:57] And these are very spontaneous conversations that Rishabh and I have when we are by ourselves.
[00:07:04] And when I just share some very personal things with him,
[00:07:07] I know my mental issues.
[00:07:08] He just comes up with these kind of amazing analogies that really help me
[00:07:12] and I want to share them with you.
[00:07:14] So if you're in a position like that, you can be benefited and unfit.
[00:07:18] So do stay tuned to our podcast for more such amazing conversations
[00:07:22] and stay subscribed and see you soon.
[00:07:25] This is Connected Outs podcast signing off.
[00:07:27] Bye.